In part two of her three-part boundaries series, Rosanne teaches that setting wise boundaries starts with you, not other people. She reveals why trusting yourself and your instincts is the foundation of effective boundary-setting.
Rosanne opens with a challenging truth: if people aren't acting right in your life, you played a role in creating those circumstances. Rather than blame others, she teaches that owning your role gives you the power to change patterns. This responsibility-taking is what distinguishes women who win on their fertility journeys.
Boundaries should be based on what's true for you, your desires, and your values - not groupthink or others' expectations. Rosanne emphasizes that as a grown woman, you can evaluate whether your current boundaries actually work for you. If you're sick and tired in life, chances are they don't.
The core of wise boundary-setting is trusting yourself and believing your instincts are valid. Whether it's recognizing when your partner lets you down, refusing to be treated like a statistic, or questioning medical recommendations that don't align with evidence, your inner knowing deserves respect.
Rosanne makes clear that determining boundaries doesn't involve asking what others will tolerate. Seeking permission for boundaries or sizing them up based on others' reactions isn't what winning women do. This work is deeply personal and starts with your relationship with yourself.
“Wise boundaries are informed boundaries, informed by what's true for you, what you desire, and what's in your heart. Wise boundaries are a reflection of our personal individual values.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:25
Start with yourself, not other people. Wise boundaries are informed by what's true for you, your desires, and your values. Trust your instincts when something doesn't feel right, and believe that your feelings are valid.
“If you find yourself flying off the handle over seemingly innocuous shit, I'm willing to bet that there is a boundary of yours that has gotten trampled upon so much that mama's patience has worn thin. But the problem is she doesn't think she'll be loved if she enforces it.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:47
You likely don't think you'll be loved if you enforce your boundaries. This fear keeps you from trusting yourself and believing your instincts are valid, even when people repeatedly let you down.
“Notice that in our discussion here, determining your boundaries doesn't include asking what other people will tolerate. And that is not an oversight. That's fucking intentional.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 7:04
No. Determining your boundaries doesn't include asking what other people will tolerate. Boundaries are deeply personal and should be based on your values, not others' approval.
“Part of being an amazing mom is being able to set boundaries that are good for her and her family. You may as well get good at it now.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 9:09
Part of being an amazing mom is being able to set boundaries that are good for her and her family. Learning to set boundaries now prepares you for the boundary-setting skills you'll need as a mother.
“Anyone who's, like, anti boundaries, you gotta you gotta check those people. Someone who doesn't fucking respect your boundaries doesn't belong in your life.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 6:12
Anyone who doesn't respect your boundaries doesn't belong in your life. Be especially wary of people who are anti-boundaries or make you feel bad for having them.
“Wise boundaries are about trusting yourself, believing that the instinct that screams out when your partner is letting you down again is fucking valid.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 4:09
Wise boundaries require trusting yourself and believing your instincts are valid. If something doesn't feel right about your treatment or provider recommendations, that instinct deserves to be honored.
A three-step exercise to move from boundary identification to enforcement
Name the boundary
Identify a specific boundary that you want to set in your life
Identify the person
Determine who this boundary needs to be set with and notice all the stories or images that come up as you consider taking this step
Set the boundary
Actually enforce the boundary rather than just thinking about it or setting it halfway
If people are not acting right in your life, you had a role in that creation - and owning that role gives you power to change it
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by taking responsibility for her role in poor boundaries and changing her patterns
Wise boundaries are informed by what's true for you, what you desire, and what's in your heart - they are a reflection of your personal individual values
Rosanne's methodology has helped women across 6 continents over 12+ years by teaching them to set boundaries based on their own values rather than groupthink
If you find yourself flying off the handle over seemingly innocuous shit, there's a boundary that has gotten trampled so much your patience has worn thin, but you don't think you'll be loved if you enforce it
This pattern recognition comes from Rosanne's 12+ years coaching women who initially struggled with boundary enforcement due to fear of rejection
Wise boundaries are about trusting yourself - believing that the instinct that screams when your partner is letting you down again is fucking valid
Rosanne's Fearlessly Fertile Method teaches women to trust their instincts, which has helped clients across 6 continents achieve their fertility goals
Believing the part of you that isn't going to take a provider blowing off your desires with 'just use a donor egg or surrogate' when the evidence doesn't support it is fucking valid
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after being told to use donor eggs, demonstrating that questioning medical recommendations when they don't align with evidence is valid
Setting boundaries has more to do with you than it does other people - you won't get past other people if you can't get right with you
This foundational principle underlies Rosanne's methodology that has helped women make their mom dreams come true around the world over 12+ years
What you believe about you is everything - if you don't think much of yourself or believe made up shit about boundaries that someone else hands to you, you won't set them
Rosanne's transformation from prosecutor to fertility success after years of treatment failure demonstrates how self-belief enables boundary setting
Anyone who's anti-boundaries or doesn't respect your boundaries doesn't belong in your life - beware of anyone who makes you feel bad for having them
This relationship principle is part of Rosanne's methodology that has guided women across 6 continents to fertility success by removing toxic influences
Wise boundaries are those you actually believe in and enforce - that's easier when you know they are real for you, valid, and therefore to be valued
Rosanne's ability to enforce boundaries around her fertility journey led to natural conception at 43 after years of failed treatments
Determining your boundaries doesn't include asking what other people will tolerate - asking for someone's permission to have a boundary is not what a woman who wins does
This principle is central to Rosanne's methodology that has helped women beat the odds on their fertility journeys across 6 continents over 12+ years
Part of being an amazing mom is being able to set boundaries that are good for her and her family - you may as well get good at it now
Rosanne's experience as a mother after conceiving at 43 demonstrates that boundary-setting skills transfer from fertility journey to motherhood
If people are not acting right in your life, you had a role in that creation - and owning that role gives you power to change it
▶ 1:23Wise boundaries are informed by what's true for you, what you desire, and what's in your heart - they are a reflection of your personal individual values
▶ 2:25If you find yourself flying off the handle over seemingly innocuous shit, there's a boundary that has gotten trampled so much your patience has worn thin, but you don't think you'll be loved if you enforce it
▶ 3:47Wise boundaries are about trusting yourself - believing that the instinct that screams when your partner is letting you down again is fucking valid
▶ 4:09Believing the part of you that isn't going to take a provider blowing off your desires with 'just use a donor egg or surrogate' when the evidence doesn't support it is fucking valid
▶ 4:51Setting boundaries has more to do with you than it does other people - you won't get past other people if you can't get right with you
▶ 5:22What you believe about you is everything - if you don't think much of yourself or believe made up shit about boundaries that someone else hands to you, you won't set them
▶ 5:51Anyone who's anti-boundaries or doesn't respect your boundaries doesn't belong in your life - beware of anyone who makes you feel bad for having them
▶ 6:12Wise boundaries are those you actually believe in and enforce - that's easier when you know they are real for you, valid, and therefore to be valued
▶ 6:24Determining your boundaries doesn't include asking what other people will tolerate - asking for someone's permission to have a boundary is not what a woman who wins does
▶ 7:04Part of being an amazing mom is being able to set boundaries that are good for her and her family - you may as well get good at it now
▶ 9:09Scroll for more
“Boundaries are about controlling other people's behavior”
CONSIDER: Setting boundaries has more to do with you than other people - it's about trusting yourself and believing your instincts are valid
“You need other people's permission or approval to set boundaries”
CONSIDER: Determining your boundaries doesn't include asking what other people will tolerate - boundaries are deeply personal and begin and end with you
“People who violate your boundaries are entirely to blame”
CONSIDER: If people are not acting right in your life, you had a role in that - owning your role gives you power to break the pattern
“If people are not acting right in your life, you had a role in that.”
“Wise boundaries are about trusting yourself.”
“What you believe about you is everything.”
“Someone who doesn't fucking respect your boundaries doesn't belong in your life.”
“Setting boundaries has more to do with you than it does other people.”
“Asking for someone's permission to have a boundary is not what a woman who wins does.”
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EP349: From No "Normal" Embryos with IVF to Pregnant Naturally In Her 40s: Liz's Story
From no normal embryos through IVF to pregnant naturally at 42 — Liz's story proves that sometimes the biggest breakthrough comes when you finally trust yourself.
Conditions
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
Your success or failure on the fertility journey ultimately comes down to you - you are in the most powerful position when you stop giving your power to experts and take responsibility for leading your journey
A 53-year-old miracle mama recently sent pregnancy photos because she stepped into her power and refused to compromise based on age or past failures.
Conceiving is all about receiving - you must unfuck your feminine and reconnect with your ability to receive support, love, and what you need to succeed
Women have been trained to take on masculine traits for professional success, divorcing them from their innate feminine energy that's deeply connected to intuition and inner knowing.
Fertility struggles inherently make you unusual and set you up to be misunderstood because it's a deeply personal journey wrapped in shame that most people won't talk about openly
Fertility struggles have increased from 1 in 8 to 1 in 5 couples, but it's still not widely discussed openly, making those who share their journey appear different or weird to others
This journey ignites a level of desire and drive that most people will never understand because they try something 2-3 times maximum before falling into limiting beliefs
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of fertility treatment failure, demonstrating the persistence most people can't comprehend when facing repeated setbacks
