Rosanne explores what happens when your existing support system - family and friends - can't relate to your fertility journey anymore. She explains this as a natural part of evolution and provides strategies for navigating changing relationships while building new community.
VesalinaAge 54· other· Baby girlBefore
Facing doubters and haters who thought she was nuts for wanting a baby at 54
Key Shift
Had courage to keep saying yes despite social pressure and ageism
After
The happiest person she knows, living her fullest life as a new mom at 55
Rosanne explains that feeling disconnected from longtime friends and family during fertility journeys is completely normal. She teaches that pursuing persistent dreams makes you unusual, since only 15% of people ever act on transformational information. This natural evolution occurs as you transition from career woman to also embracing motherhood.
Rather than viewing changing relationships as betrayal, Rosanne reframes pruning as healthy prioritization. With finite time and energy for fertility goals, managing emotions of unsupportive people creates unnecessary drains. She emphasizes this isn't about disloyalty but about protecting resources for what matters most.
Rosanne explains that people's discomfort with your fertility journey often stems from their own abandoned dreams. Your persistence forces others to confront their quitting patterns, creating resistance. She shares how age bias particularly affects older mothers, using client Vesalina's story of thriving as a new mom at 55.
The episode concludes with practical strategies for managing relationship changes. Rosanne provides the mantra 'I'm changing because I choose to, my baby is on the other side of my change' to reframe uncertainty as exciting progress rather than loss.
“It is completely normal to get into a place on this journey where it feels like some of the old standbys in your life, maybe your family, friends, people that you've depended on, when it comes to this journey, the love and support that you used to get from them, that sense of community, that sense of belonging, it's just not there anymore.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:07
It's completely normal for existing relationships to feel strained during fertility journeys. You're doing something unusual by persistently pursuing your dreams when most people give up. Your evolution into motherhood naturally creates distance from people who can't relate to this path.
“Pruning people out of your life is not about you being a pompous asshole or you not being loyal. It's about priorities. We have a finite amount of time to have these babies.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 10:18
Pruning relationships during fertility journeys isn't about being disloyal - it's about priorities. You have finite time and energy, and managing emotions of people who don't understand your journey creates energy leaks when you're already juggling work and treatments.
“To be fifty five today is decidedly different than what fifty five, fifty years ago was. She's young, she's vibrant, she's successful, she's a physician, like all of these amazing things. Of course, she has this built out life and she fucking wants more.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 9:06
Age perceptions need updating - being 50+ today is completely different than 50 years ago. Successful, vibrant women can thrive as new mothers at any age. Don't let others' limitations dictate your possibilities.
“Your change, your evolution, your progress is going to cause people to look at their own lives and say, shit, I really gave up on x y z. It makes people uncomfortable, but you have to understand, your job is not to make people comfortable.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 11:19
Your change and evolution makes others uncomfortable because it forces them to examine their own quitting patterns. When people see you persistently pursuing your dreams, they're reminded of things they gave up on, which creates resistance.
“I'm changing because I choose to. I'm changing because I choose to. My baby is on the other side of my change. I'm becoming the woman who has it all.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 13:52
Use the mantra 'I'm changing because I choose to, my baby is on the other side of my change.' This helps you see relationship evolution as exciting progress rather than loss, connecting your growth directly to meeting your baby.
Steps for managing evolving support systems while building new community
Recognize evolution is natural
Understand that growing out of some relationships is normal when you're pursuing dreams most people give up on
Practice the empowerment mantra
Use 'I'm changing because I choose to, my baby is on the other side of my change' when feeling uncertain about relationship shifts
Prioritize your energy
Prune relationships that drain energy rather than support your vision - you have finite time and can't evangelize to everyone
Don't take on others' limitations
Recognize that people judge your choices through their own fears and quitting patterns, not your actual possibilities
Pursuing your fertility dreams makes you unusual because most people give up on their dreams - only 15% ever act on transformational information
Tony Robbins shared at an event that barely 15% of people would ever do anything with the things he taught, reflecting how rare it is to pursue dreams persistently.
Evolution out of some social circles is a natural part of personal growth when transitioning from career woman to also being a mom
Women evolve from wearing just one professional hat to adding the role of mother, which requires different priorities and community that supports this expansion.
Pruning relationships is about priorities, not disloyalty - you have finite time to have babies and can't evangelize to everyone
Managing emotions of people who don't understand your journey creates energy leaks when you're already juggling full-time work, fertility treatments, and the pressure to succeed quickly.
Having a baby at 50+ is completely different today than 50 years ago - age perceptions need updating
Vesalina, a physician, gave birth at 54 and became a new mom at 55. She's young, vibrant, and successful - decidedly different from what 55 meant fifty years ago.
Your change and evolution makes others uncomfortable because it forces them to examine their own quitting patterns
When people see someone like Vesalina succeed at 54, they're reminded of dreams they gave up on, which creates discomfort and resistance to supporting your journey.
Most people look at your fertility journey through the lens of their own limitations, not through possibility
People who wouldn't want an infant at 55 project that onto Vesalina's choice, but that doesn't make her decision wrong - she's the happiest person she knows because she said yes to her vision.
Your job is not to make people comfortable - your job is to live your purpose unapologetically
Making your fertility desires the priority and pruning people who don't support them doesn't make you an asshole - it makes you focused, clear, and a person of integrity.
The mantra 'I'm changing because I choose to, my baby is on the other side of my change' helps reframe relationship evolution as empowering
This refrain helps you look at uncertainty around changing community with excitement and empowerment rather than worry, connecting your evolution directly to meeting your baby.
Pursuing your fertility dreams makes you unusual because most people give up on their dreams - only 15% ever act on transformational information
▶ 3:58Evolution out of some social circles is a natural part of personal growth when transitioning from career woman to also being a mom
▶ 6:42Pruning relationships is about priorities, not disloyalty - you have finite time to have babies and can't evangelize to everyone
▶ 7:23Having a baby at 50+ is completely different today than 50 years ago - age perceptions need updating
▶ 8:45Your change and evolution makes others uncomfortable because it forces them to examine their own quitting patterns
▶ 11:09Most people look at your fertility journey through the lens of their own limitations, not through possibility
▶ 12:12Your job is not to make people comfortable - your job is to live your purpose unapologetically
▶ 11:30The mantra 'I'm changing because I choose to, my baby is on the other side of my change' helps reframe relationship evolution as empowering
▶ 13:42“If your family and friends don't support your fertility journey anymore, something is wrong with your relationships”
CONSIDER: Relationship changes are natural when you evolve - you're becoming unusual by pursuing dreams most people give up on
“Cutting people out of your life during fertility struggles makes you disloyal or selfish”
CONSIDER: Pruning relationships is about priorities - you have finite time and energy and can't afford energy leaks from managing others' emotions
“Having a baby after 50 is crazy or irresponsible”
CONSIDER: Age 50+ today is completely different than 50 years ago - successful women can thrive as new moms at any age
“Most people give up on their dreams. I know that that sounds negative, but it's a frickin' fact.”
“Your job is not to make people comfortable. Your job is to live your purpose unapologetically.”
“Pruning people out of your life is not about you being a pompous asshole or you not being loyal. It's about priorities.”
“I'm changing because I choose to. My baby is on the other side of my change.”
“Most people will look at our lives through the lens of their own limitations.”
EP268 From Devastation to A Fertility “Fairytale” Ending She Thought Was Impossible: Katy’s Story
How a woman who carried limiting beliefs for 20 years transformed her mindset and conceived naturally at 41 after multiple losses and IVF failures.
EP201 Are You Really Ready? The Dream v. Being Ready to Receive It.
Are you just dreaming about your baby, or are you actually ready to receive them?
EP112 The Belief Experiment
What if you could rewire your fertility mindset in just 7 days by consciously choosing what you allow into your world?
Limiting beliefs about fertility can persist for decades without any medical evidence and become self-fulfilling prophecies
Katie carried the belief 'there's something wrong, you can't have a baby' for 20 years starting from her teens, despite never attempting to conceive or having any medical tests to support this belief
Your desire speaking louder than fear in pivotal moments reveals your inner truth
When told 'this might be your only chance' after Katie's second trimester loss, her immediate internal response was 'fuck that' - her desire refusing to accept limitation
There's a fundamental difference between wanting a baby from lack versus being ready to receive one - wanting comes from what isn't here, while readiness focuses on preparing for what's to come
Rosanne observed this shift in all successful clients featured on her podcast over 200+ episodes, noting when 'the switch flips' from chasing energy to confident readiness
Being ready to receive has an innate emotional maturity, confidence, peace and calm that is decidedly different from the desperate energy of 'when is my baby gonna get here?'
Rosanne describes recognizing this shift in all women who achieved success on her podcast, noting it's 'truly a beautiful thing' to observe when the transformation happens
