Rosanne AustinDiscovery Hub
Teaching2022-01-17·17 min

EP151 Smart Mama Move: Know the Difference Between Smart and Safe

EP151 Smart Mama Move: Know the Difference Between Smart and Safe

Rosanne teaches the crucial difference between playing it 'safe' versus being 'smart' on your fertility journey. She explains how defaulting to safe choices often keeps women stuck in patterns that don't serve them, while smart choices involve calculated risks rooted in faith and possibility.

Redefining Safe vs Smart

Rosanne challenges the childhood conditioning that equates 'safe' with 'smart,' explaining how this limiting belief sabotages adult fertility journeys. She shares Dr. Christian Northrop's observations of women conceiving naturally into their late 40s when fear wasn't planted about their age.

The Cost of Playing It Safe

The episode explores how defaulting to 'safe' choices often means living by others' rules rooted in lack and scarcity. Rosanne emphasizes that intelligent risks feel exciting and overdue, while playing it safe leads to stagnation and regret.

Smart Communication in Relationships

Rosanne addresses how hiding truth from partners isn't safe but rather 'the chicken shit play.' She teaches that type A women often take on everyone's responsibility thinking it's safer, when the fertility journey requires learning to receive support.

Taking Intelligent Action

The episode concludes with a three-step exercise to assess where you're playing it too safe versus being smart. Rosanne emphasizes that every successful woman featured on the podcast made the choice to stop being a victim and take calculated risks.

Questions This Episode Answers

What's the difference between safe and smart on a fertility journey

Smart takes you into account. It is a calculus that looks at your uniqueness, includes the divine in you, the spark that put this desire in your heart to be a mom in the first place and is rooted in a belief that if there is a desire, then it means there must be a way to make it manifest

Rosanne Austin4:49

Safe is about fear, living by others' rules, and avoiding risks. Smart takes you into account, includes faith and possibility, and involves calculated risks rooted in belief that if there's a desire, there's a way to manifest it.

Can women get pregnant naturally after 45

I will never forget a conversation I had with doctor Christian Northrop where we were wrapping a taste about how she did part of her residency at a Catholic hospital in Boston where women were having babies on the regular at forty four, forty five, forty six, forty seven, forty eight, and beyond naturally

Rosanne Austin6:02

Yes. Dr. Christian Northrop shared that during her residency at a Catholic hospital in Boston, women were regularly having babies naturally at 44, 45, 46, 47, 48 and beyond. No one was telling these women they were too old.

Should I use my savings for fertility treatments

what the hell are your savings for? It's raining now, mofo, and you're trying to get this baby here. Get out of your rut and take some intelligent risks

Rosanne Austin7:04

If you're on a fertility journey, this is exactly what your savings are for. As Rosanne puts it: 'What the hell are your savings for? It's raining now, and you're trying to get this baby here.' Take intelligent risks rather than penny-pinching from a place of fear.

How do I tell my partner what I really need during fertility struggles

Is it time that your partner really knew what was going on for you? Is it time that you quit playing it safe and be smart so you can tell them what you actually need so they have a fighting chance to be that for you?

Rosanne Austin7:25

Stop playing it safe and be honest about what you actually need. Hiding truth from your partner isn't safe - it's the 'chicken shit play.' Your partner needs to know the real you to have a fighting chance to support you properly.

What risks should I take on my fertility journey

Where is it time to take some fucking calculated intelligent risks? And remember, that's not the same as a guarantee. Calculated risk is there's still risk involved. There's no such thing as a guarantee in this life.

Rosanne Austin14:28

Take intelligent, calculated risks that feel exciting and overdue - like investing in treatments or coaching, speaking truth to your partner, setting boundaries with negative people, or pursuing options you've been afraid to try. Remember, there are no guarantees in life regardless.

How do I know if I'm playing it too safe in fertility

when you have spent way too many days in safe, you know it. You aren't moving forward. Your results aren't changing. You feel the life being sucked out of you. You repeat the same old patterns of fear and doubt

Rosanne Austin10:40

You know you're playing it too safe when you aren't moving forward, your results aren't changing, you feel life being sucked out of you, and you're repeating the same patterns of fear and doubt. Trust that inner knowing.

How to Know if You're Playing It Safe vs Being Smart

A three-step exercise to identify where you're stuck in 'safe' patterns and need to take intelligent risks

  1. 1

    Take an honest assessment

    Look at how you've been living your fertility journey. Are you playing it safe or being smart? Notice what comes up as you consider this question. Are you bored to tears with your life? The answer is in your heart right now.

  2. 2

    Identify where to shake things up

    Where do you need to stop playing it so safe? Are you telling the same boring story of woe? Still surrounding yourself with people who think you're nuts? Having the same arguments with your partner for two years? Identify where it's time for calculated intelligent risks.

  3. 3

    Take action and share

    Once you've identified what you want to do, go do it. Then share this episode with someone who could benefit from it and leave a five-star review to show gratitude for the free content.

All Teachings 8

TeachingChallenging1:23

Safe and smart are not the same thing - treating them as equivalent can sabotage your fertility dreams

Dr. Christian Northrop shared that during her residency at a Catholic hospital in Boston, women were having babies naturally at 44, 45, 46, 47, 48 and beyond - no one was telling these women they were too old.

TeachingEmpowering4:49

Smart takes you into account - it's a calculus that includes your uniqueness, the divine in you, and is rooted in belief that if there's a desire, there must be a way

Every woman featured on this podcast took a leap - they bet on themselves, made investments, took trips, told partners the truth, and made their desire more powerful than their fear.

TeachingFierce6:23

When the seed of fear takes root, we completely eliminate the magic of our boundless human potential

Women at the Catholic hospital in Boston were conceiving naturally in their late 40s because no one planted seeds of fear about being 'too old' - they maintained their boundless potential.

TeachingChallenging7:55

Hiding truth from your partner isn't the smart play - it's the chicken shit play. There's nothing safe or smart about that.

Type A control freak women take on responsibility for everyone thinking it's safer, when this journey is exactly the time to allow yourself to receive support.

TeachingChallenging9:38

It is more often than not the risks that we didn't take that we regret the most

When you've spent too many days in 'safe' you know it - you aren't moving forward, results aren't changing, you feel life being sucked out of you.

TeachingEmpowering11:01

Smart develops a level of trust in yourself so that fear begins to drop away - you can trust your decisions and know when you say you'll do something, you will

Dr. Maria from the previous episode stopped playing it safe, got smart, did IVF without giving up skiing or having a beer, and had her baby boy 38 weeks later.

ReframeReframing11:31

Safe is about fear, worrying about what other people think and living by someone else's rules. Smart is about integrity and alignment with the highest.

Safe equals a life of quiet desperation while smart is about expansion and possibility - the distinction explains why people get stuck in safe and never reach victory.

TeachingChallenging14:06

There's a point when safe is downright stupid - and you know

When you're playing it so safe that you're bored to tears, still telling the same story of woe, having the same arguments for two years with no change - it's time for calculated intelligent risks.

Episode Tone
4 challenging2 empowering1 fierce1 reframing

Key Teachings 8

Safe and smart are not the same thing - treating them as equivalent can sabotage your fertility dreams

1:23

Smart takes you into account - it's a calculus that includes your uniqueness, the divine in you, and is rooted in belief that if there's a desire, there must be a way

4:49

When the seed of fear takes root, we completely eliminate the magic of our boundless human potential

6:23

Hiding truth from your partner isn't the smart play - it's the chicken shit play. There's nothing safe or smart about that.

7:55

It is more often than not the risks that we didn't take that we regret the most

9:38

Smart develops a level of trust in yourself so that fear begins to drop away - you can trust your decisions and know when you say you'll do something, you will

11:01

Safe is about fear, worrying about what other people think and living by someone else's rules. Smart is about integrity and alignment with the highest.

11:31

There's a point when safe is downright stupid - and you know

14:06

Perspectives 3

The safe route is always the smart route

CONSIDER: Safe and smart are not the same - smart takes you into account and includes faith, while safe often keeps you stuck in limitation

You should protect your savings and not take financial risks

CONSIDER: What the hell are your savings for? It's raining now and you're trying to get this baby here - take intelligent risks

It's safer to hide your true needs from your partner

CONSIDER: Hiding truth from your partner is the chicken shit play - they need to know the real you to have a fighting chance to support you

Quotable Moments

what the hell are your savings for? It's raining now, mofo, and you're trying to get this baby here

Rosanne Austin7:04

Hiding truth from your partner isn't the smart play. It's the chicken shit play.

Rosanne Austin7:55

When the seed of fear takes root, we completely eliminate the magic of our boundless human potential

Rosanne Austin6:23

It is more often than not the risks that we didn't take that we regret the most

Rosanne Austin9:38

There is a point when safe is downright stupid. And you know. You know.

Rosanne Austin14:06

Smart takes you into account. It is a calculus that looks at your uniqueness, includes the divine in you

Rosanne Austin4:49

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Your partner's economic fear doesn't have to become your fertility limitation - you can love someone deeply while refusing to join their fear-based mindset

Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by maintaining her vision despite economic pressures, demonstrating that couples can have different perspectives on spending without derailing fertility success

Fear-based fertility decisions drain both your resilience and bank account faster than strategic investments in optimal care

Women who chase cheaper alternatives out of fear often find themselves a year later with the same results, when going 'ovaries to the wall' with the best care and coaching could have resulted in pregnancy or holding their baby

You can discover your dream of motherhood at any age and it's equally valid regardless of timing

Myrna spent 20 years saying she didn't want children, discovered her maternal calling at 42, and successfully became a mother at 45 with one embryo.

External success without fulfilling your deepest purpose leads to persistent emptiness and searching

Myrna achieved international success as a musician, traveled the world, and had career freedom, but felt constantly unsatisfied and kept searching for something until she realized motherhood was her missing piece.