Rosanne teaches how to protect your relationship from becoming 'roadkill' on the fertility journey. She emphasizes that your relationship is the foundation of your future family and shares practical strategies for maintaining connection without doing your partner's emotional work.
Rosanne emphasizes that the child you're trying to conceive is coming into your relationship, not the other way around. She challenges the notion that you need to be perfect or do everything for your partner, instead advocating for strategic quality time and genuine connection over grand gestures.
One of the biggest relationship killers during fertility struggles is taking on your partner's emotional work. This breeds resentment, prevents true engagement, and signals distrust. Rosanne teaches that doing both parts of the relationship equation puts your partner to sleep and makes you part of the problem.
The path to protecting your relationship involves getting out of ego, past hurts, and future fears to focus on present love. This means remembering what drew you together originally while still acknowledging challenges, ultimately choosing each other consciously despite difficulties.
Taking care of yourself is one of the most powerful ways to protect your relationship, as fear and negativity from the fertility journey seeps into partnerships. Rosanne emphasizes that how you do one thing is how you do everything, making personal mindset work crucial for relationship health.
“This child that you're trying to conceive is coming into your relationship, not the other way around.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:05
Focus on your relationship as the foundation of your future family. Use small, strategic gestures over time rather than grand gestures. Do your part without doing your partner's emotional work, which breeds resentment.
“When you do your partner's math, you, my big hearted, loving, type a list making mama, you are part of the problem, not the solution.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 10:45
When you do your partner's emotional work, you breed anger and resentment while preventing them from fully engaging. It sends a signal that you don't trust them and allows them to check out of the relationship.
“A well placed afternoon together, weekend getaway, or just doing something your partner really loves on occasion can be a powerful reset.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:58
Well-placed afternoons together, weekend getaways, or doing something your partner really loves on occasion can be powerful relationship resets. Focus on quality connection over quantity of time spent together.
“You protect your relationship from becoming fertility journey roadkill by making a return to love. Get out of your ego. Get out of the story. Get out of the past. Get out of future tripping and be in the present.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 9:54
Get out of your ego, story, past hurts, and future tripping to be present. Focus on what your partner means to you and remember the love that brought you together, while still acknowledging past hurts but choosing each other.
“One of the side effects of letting fear, negativity, and doubt pollute your journey is that it seeps into your relationship. The way we do one thing is the way we do everything.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 15:35
Fear, negativity, and doubt from your fertility journey seeps into your relationship. Taking care of yourself prevents this contamination because the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
Three-step exercise to assess and strengthen your relationship during fertility treatment
Take five steps back and assess
Look at your relationship objectively and honestly assess where you are today. Ask yourself if the state of your relationship is what you desire it to be, and have the courage to look at any problems that exist.
Tell your partner what they mean to you
Drop the drama, ego, hurt, anger, or frustration for a moment and focus on what your partner truly means to you. Remember the love that brought you together and express that appreciation, even if you're currently struggling.
Share this message with others
Text the link to this podcast episode to someone who could benefit, screenshot and share on social media, and leave a five-star review to help other couples avoid relationship roadkill on their fertility journey.
Your relationship is the foundation of your future family - the child you're trying to conceive is coming into your relationship, not the other way around
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure while maintaining her marriage, which she describes as 'intact and fucking thriving' after getting to the other side of her fertility journey.
Quality over quantity matters in relationship maintenance - small gestures accumulated over time are more effective than blue moon theatrical grand gestures when it's almost too late
Rosanne has worked with couples on fertility journeys from all over the world and emphasizes that strategic, well-placed afternoon getaways or doing something your partner loves can be powerful relationship resets.
Doing your partner's emotional work breeds anger and resentment, which is like dropping a festering atom bomb into your relationship
Rosanne explains that when you do both parts in a relationship, your partner gets to go to sleep and you never have practical knowledge of whether they're actually engaged, based on her experience coaching women across six continents.
When you do your partner's math, you send them a signal that you don't trust them, which will clear a room like a pile of stinky socks
Rosanne teaches that meddling in your partner's emotional work prevents them from stepping into their role fully and contributes to them checking out of the relationship entirely.
You protect your relationship from becoming fertility journey roadkill by making a return to love - getting out of ego, story, past, and future tripping to be present
Rosanne emphasizes this is not about denying past hurts but choosing each other, based on her own experience maintaining her marriage through fertility struggles and her work with international clients.
One of the most powerful ways to prevent relationship roadkill is to take care of yourself - the way you do one thing is the way you do everything
Rosanne explains that fear, negativity, and doubt seep into relationships, and she has worked with couples from all over the world, getting to the other side of her own journey with her marriage thriving.
Your relationship is the foundation of your future family - the child you're trying to conceive is coming into your relationship, not the other way around
▶ 3:05Quality over quantity matters in relationship maintenance - small gestures accumulated over time are more effective than blue moon theatrical grand gestures when it's almost too late
▶ 4:51Doing your partner's emotional work breeds anger and resentment, which is like dropping a festering atom bomb into your relationship
▶ 5:54When you do your partner's math, you send them a signal that you don't trust them, which will clear a room like a pile of stinky socks
▶ 7:05You protect your relationship from becoming fertility journey roadkill by making a return to love - getting out of ego, story, past, and future tripping to be present
▶ 9:54One of the most powerful ways to prevent relationship roadkill is to take care of yourself - the way you do one thing is the way you do everything
▶ 15:25“You need to do everything for your partner to maintain connection during fertility struggles”
CONSIDER: Doing your partner's emotional work prevents them from stepping up and breeds resentment that destroys relationships
“Grand romantic gestures are needed to keep relationships strong during fertility treatment”
CONSIDER: Small, strategic gestures accumulated over time are more effective than theatrical grand gestures when it's almost too late
“This child that you're trying to conceive is coming into your relationship, not the other way around.”
“When you do your partner's math, you, my big hearted, loving, type a list making mama, you are part of the problem, not the solution.”
“Resentment is like dropping a festering atom bomb into the center of your relationship, and it is very hard to recover from that.”
“You protect your relationship from becoming fertility journey roadkill by making a return to love.”
“We choose each other. We choose each other. We choose each other.”
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Your mindset is the foundation that keeps you from falling prey to manipulation and fear-based statistics on your fertility journey
Women told they had less than 10% chances or even less than 1% chances are holding babies today because they focused on possibility rather than limitations.
Couples must get on the same page about their fertility journey before crisis hits, because stress can tear partnerships apart
During COVID, families broke apart over mask disagreements and fear-based decisions, with people refusing to be in the same room with each other.
Nobody can make you feel anything without your permission - you have full responsibility for how you feel in any given situation
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by taking responsibility for her mindset and emotional state throughout her journey.
Protecting yourself from negativity, group think, and group fear is one of the most important forms of self-care for fertility success
Rosanne emphasizes this as critical mama bear energy development, which she used during her own successful pregnancy at 43 after previous treatment failures.
