Including Your Partner

Your fertility journey isn't just about you - it's about the journey you and your partner are doing together

Seema realized she was blaming Mike and making him feel on the outside, so she encouraged him to build his own support system and brought him into the process, strengthening their relationship and creating shared success.

Fertility challenges strengthen relationships when couples communicate openly

Tran and David's relationship became stronger during their fertility journey as they learned to discuss previously unspoken issues, with David learning to support Tran's emotional needs.

The fertility journey can strengthen relationships when partners learn they don't need to be on the exact same page as long as they communicate and support each other

Dr. Kate and her husband of almost 20 years developed an even deeper connection through their fertility struggles, with her husband learning to say 'anything can happen' about future pregnancies.

Men's energy and belief directly impacts fertility outcomes through their daily thoughts and practices

Carson wrote daily gratitude statements saying 'I'm grateful for my kids' in past tense before conception, claiming that energy. He emphasized that husbands' thoughts are things that carry energy and affect their partners sleeping next to them every night.

Partners don't need to mirror your exact growth to support your fertility journey - they can grow on parallel tracks

Mr. Austin explains how he pursued different education while Rosanne did mindset work, and they both achieved fulfillment without learning identical material.

Baseline trust is more important than understanding every aspect of your partner's growth work

Mr. Austin trusted that everything Rosanne was doing was 'to make herself better, which makes her better for me, which makes her better for us' even when he found some practices 'kooky'.

Communication is critical when one partner is making big leaps in personal growth

Mr. Austin shared how Rosanne would 'prep me with something' before making shifts and 'bring me up to speed' afterwards, creating a 'breadcrumb trail for me to keep up' so he never felt left behind.

Support doesn't require excitement about every aspect of your partner's growth

Mr. Austin explains 'I don't share any excitement' about silent retreats but still provides logistical support at home, just as Rosanne supports his hunting trips without enthusiasm.

Partners should examine their woman's history of good decisions when feeling uncertain about new approaches

Mr. Austin suggests asking 'do you have a level of trust that I'm advancing us in everything I do' and reflecting on whether 'she hasn't bankrupted us' and 'always made the right decision for our family'.

Couples must get on the same page about their fertility journey before crisis hits, because stress can tear partnerships apart

During COVID, families broke apart over mask disagreements and fear-based decisions, with people refusing to be in the same room with each other.

Women are the keepers of their relationships and can exercise powerful feminine leadership to transform their sex life

Rosanne states 'as a woman who is the keeper of her relationship, this is an opportunity for you to really exercise some extremely powerful feminine leadership here'

Partner resistance often stems from fear they might be the fertility problem, not just ignorance

Dr. Watkins invites partners to appointments and observes that resistance sometimes comes from male partners' fear that 'if she gets all workup and does all these things and it still doesn't work, when is she gonna look at me and say maybe it's you?'

Partners often retreat into their work during postpartum challenges because they don't know how else to help

Suzy explains that her husband Qasem, an entrepreneur, worked harder than ever after their baby because he didn't know what else to do - going into 'kill the antelope' mode as his way of providing.

Your relationship is the first place you dump stress and the last place you look for blocks, which can create barriers to conception

Rosanne Austin conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure when she and her husband addressed relationship blocks including poor communication, pent-up resentments, and feeling unsupported.

Partners often have unequal commitment levels to fertility treatments, with one person pushing harder while the other feels inadequate about their ability to support

Mr. Austin reveals he oscillated between feeling he wasn't participating enough and feeling pushed too hard, while not knowing how to adequately support his wife through treatments.

Men often lack places to process fertility journey emotions, leaving them fumbling to communicate uncharted feelings to their partners

Mr. Austin explains that men don't have sounding boards with friends like women do, making it difficult to process fertility stress before communicating with their partner.

Women often present conclusions without sharing their research process, making partners feel confused and resistant to new ideas

Mr. Austin explains that when Rosanne would announce decisions without sharing her background research, his initial reaction was to think she was crazy until he understood her reasoning.

When partners say no to fertility-related requests, they often mean 'no, tell me more' but fail to communicate the second part

Mr. Austin reveals that his resistance to new treatments or approaches was really a request for more information, not a flat refusal.

When your partner isn't doing their part, ask two critical questions: Do they actually want to have a baby with you? And is there another way to address the problem that honors their personality?

Rosanne developed this framework from coaching women for almost 8 years and seeing partners who appeared uncommitted but were actually just approaching fertility differently than their type-A partners.

Don't use the standard you would use for measuring yourself on your partner because you are two very different people

Rosanne explains that type-A control freak professional women are often paired with much more mellow partners, and trying to impose the same extreme approach on both people creates unnecessary conflict.

Use this time while trying to conceive to find new and better ways to communicate because once your baby is born, you're not going to parent the same way

Rosanne explains that learning to navigate differences now prepares couples for the reality that they won't agree on everything in parenting, making this fertility journey practice for future cooperation.

Your relationship is the foundation of your future family - the child you're trying to conceive is coming into your relationship, not the other way around

Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure while maintaining her marriage, which she describes as 'intact and fucking thriving' after getting to the other side of her fertility journey.

Quality over quantity matters in relationship maintenance - small gestures accumulated over time are more effective than blue moon theatrical grand gestures when it's almost too late

Rosanne has worked with couples on fertility journeys from all over the world and emphasizes that strategic, well-placed afternoon getaways or doing something your partner loves can be powerful relationship resets.

Tell your partner what you want from a place of love instead of dancing around the subject and ruminating for weeks

Rosanne coaches type A professional women including physicians, lawyers, teachers, nurses, artists, and bankers who struggle with direct communication

When you change and step into your power, your partner will naturally step up to meet you at that higher level

Teresa's husband Colby went from believing 'it's your body that's not working, so you need the help' to actively participating in weekly fertility nights, reading her workbook answers, and challenging her self-shaming language.

Being all in transforms your communication with your partner - you stop hiding how badly you want the baby and stop settling for not being heard

Rosanne notes that conditional commitment leads to 'hiding out like freaking Batman' and settling for second best, while all-in energy changes everything about partner dynamics.

Getting your partner on the same page requires leading from purpose rather than desperation or blame

Robin transformed her communication with husband Chris from confrontational and desperate to sharing her heart and purpose, leading him to agree to one more IVF round after initially refusing any more treatment.

The 'remember when' manifestation game helps partners align on the vision and feel it as real

Robin and Chris played the 'remember when' game on Easter weekend, envisioning being 5 months pregnant a year later, and Robin was indeed 5 months pregnant with Ruby the following Easter weekend.

Male partners often don't understand the magnitude of fertility struggles until they see how all-consuming it becomes

Bevan admitted: 'I don't think you get it at first. I kinda thought, well, is this just Sue being a little bit negative?' He said it took a long time to realize 'how all consuming it was' and that 'it affects everything - your relationship, work, financial situation.'

Your relationship is the foundation of the family you're building - you can't ignore relationship issues hoping they'll resolve after your baby comes

Rosanne emphasizes that trying to resolve relationship issues with an infant crying in the background is not a recipe for success, and your partner may leave before the baby arrives if issues aren't addressed.

Your relationship is the foundation upon which your family is built, yet it's often neglected during the fertility journey

Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure and now coaches women across six continents, emphasizing that relationship foundation is critical for family success.

Scheduled weekly check-ins are essential for maintaining emotional connection during fertility challenges

Sharon Pope recommends creating intentional space for vulnerable conversations about feelings, physical experiences, and needs - not just casual 'how was your day' exchanges. She emphasizes this prevents couples from becoming disconnected roommates later.

The fertility journey tests relationships on all critical fronts: sex, money, family boundaries, and life plans

Rosanne describes fertility struggles as 'dropping an atom bomb in the center' of relationships because it forces couples to confront every major relationship challenge simultaneously. She shares how she and her husband had to answer all the 'killjoy questions' despite both being successful professionals.

When you show up to your journey like a woman who knows her mind and heart, making bold decisive decisions, your partner will be more at ease not having to sort through your mess

Many women tell themselves their husband won't understand their fertility decisions, but partners actually want to support someone who shows leadership and clarity about what they want.

Just because your partner isn't as militaristic as you about fertility protocols doesn't mean they're any less committed - they may just not want to do it your way

Rosanne shares her husband's example of loving cookies and milk, noting there was no way she would ask him to give that up, and that extreme dietary restrictions aren't always necessary for fertility success.