Rosanne AustinDiscovery Hub
Teaching2023-03-20·37 min

EP212 The Mama-Making Mindset Strategy: Gain the “Unfair” Advantage

EP212 The Mama-Making Mindset Strategy: Gain the “Unfair” Advantage

Rosanne walks through her Fearlessly Fertile Mama Making Mindset Matrix, helping listeners understand what their assessment score means and the level of mindset support they need based on where they are on their fertility journey. She explains four stages from 'just getting started' to 'sounding the alarm' and provides specific strategies for each.

Understanding the Fearlessly Fertile Mama Making Mindset Matrix

Rosanne introduces her comprehensive assessment tool that categorizes fertility journeys into four distinct stages based on point values 0-45. Each stage represents different levels of urgency, mindset challenges, and required support systems.

The Four Stages of Fertility Mindset

From 'just getting started' (0-11 points) to 'sounding the alarm' (35-45 points), each stage has characteristic thought patterns, primary problems, and pivot points. The matrix reveals how mindset support needs escalate dramatically as journey complexity increases.

When DIY Stops Working

Once women reach the 'mama making marathon' stage (23+ points), friend advice and Google searches become counterproductive. Fear-based choices dominate, requiring structured, fertility-specific mindset intervention to break the cycle.

Your Mindset Action Plan

Rosanne provides two critical steps for success: recognizing that your thinking creates blocks to your baby, and identifying what you need to learn to stop blocking your success. She emphasizes that mindset is the one factor you completely control on this journey.

Questions This Episode Answers

What does my fertility mindset assessment score mean?

zero to eleven that puts you either in the stage where you're kind of fantasizing about having a baby or just getting started. If your point value is between twelve and twenty two, you're where I like to call the messy middle

Rosanne Austin5:32

Your score places you in one of four stages: 0-11 (just getting started), 12-22 (messy middle), 23-34 (mama making marathon - go time), and 35-45 (sounding the alarm). Each stage requires different levels of mindset support.

When do I need professional mindset coaching for fertility?

if you are in the twenty three to thirty four point value, you're way beyond talking your to your friends, and you're way beyond occasional books, podcasts, DIY, and online groups without discernment. This is where when you when it's go time for you and you have a point value between twenty three and thirty four, having some consistent fertility specific structured mindset work based on a proven method, which in my expertise is a group coaching at an absolute minimum, this is where you need to be

Rosanne Austin15:01

You need professional mindset coaching when your assessment score reaches 23 or above. At this stage, you're in the 'mama making marathon' where fear-based choices become problematic and DIY approaches stop working.

Why isn't DIY mindset work enough for fertility challenges?

if you're in the thirty five to forty five point value range, but you're still acting as if you were a twelve to twenty two, that's a problem. That's not a strategy that is consistent with your needs

Rosanne Austin22:50

DIY mindset work becomes insufficient once you reach point values above 22 because you're dealing with fear-based choices, treatment failures, and complex emotions that require fertility-specific expertise and consistent support to navigate successfully.

What is the mama making marathon stage?

when you start getting into the point values of twenty three and above, this is where you find yourself in what I call the mama making marathon. It's really go time here

Rosanne Austin10:52

The mama making marathon is when your assessment score reaches 23-45, indicating high urgency where fear-based choices dominate, you're asking 'what the f*ck, I'm doing all the things and nothing's working,' and you need intensive mindset support.

How do I know if I'm blocking my baby with my mindset?

you've gotta recognize the way you are thinking is creating blocks to your baby. As I said, you saw your score yourself. So when you are serious about success, number one, you're gonna recognize that chances are at some level or another, you are getting in your own way, mama

Rosanne Austin25:47

Signs include making fear-based choices, jumping between doctors without strategy, doing 'all the things' but feeling like nothing works, spending excessive time in fear and doubt, and having your point value above 22 on the assessment.

How to Assess Your Fertility Mindset Support Needs

A framework for understanding where you are on the fertility mindset spectrum and what level of support you need

  1. 1

    Identify Your Stage

    Use your assessment point value to determine your stage: 0-11 (just starting), 12-22 (messy middle), 23-34 (mama making marathon), or 35-45 (sounding the alarm)

  2. 2

    Recognize Your Current Mindset

    Acknowledge whether you're in wait-and-see mode, trying to be perfect, or oscillating between determination and despair

  3. 3

    Match Support to Your Needs

    Align your mindset support strategy with your stage - from friend support early on to daily structured mindset work for scores 35+

  4. 4

    Make the Pivot Decision

    Commit to the appropriate pivot point for your stage - getting clear on what you want, making a decision, or declaring 'I'm not leaving without my baby'

All Teachings 6

TeachingEmpowering1:00

Your fertility journey has four distinct mindset stages that require different levels of support - from talking to friends early on to daily structured mindset work in the mama making marathon phase

Based on 8 years of coaching women to fertility success, Rosanne has identified consistent patterns where women with point values 23-45 need group coaching minimum, while those 0-22 can use less intensive support like books or podcasts.

TeachingChallenging12:05

Fear-based choices become the primary problem when you reach the mama making marathon stage, causing women to jump from doctor to doctor without an overarching strategy

Women with assessment scores 23-34 consistently exhibit 'playing footsie with professionals' behavior, jumping between providers due to fear rather than giving treatments adequate time to work.

TeachingChallenging16:56

Women with point values 35-45 oscillate between determination and utter despair, requiring daily fertility-specific mindset work and group coaching at minimum

This stage represents women facing repeated treatment failures, age pressure, and support withdrawal who need intensive mindset intervention to avoid giving up despite having 'journey fatigue.'

TeachingChallenging23:52

The DIY approach to mindset work stops being effective once you reach point values above 22 - you need fertility-specific structured support based on a proven method

Women beyond the 'messy middle' phase who continue using Google searches and friend advice instead of professional mindset coaching remain stuck in fear-based decision making.

TeachingEmpowering21:48

Your mindset follows you everywhere - into doctor appointments, family gatherings, and baby showers - making it your biggest advantage or disadvantage on this journey

Rosanne emphasizes that unlike external factors, mindset is the one thing you have complete control over and it impacts every decision and interaction on your fertility journey.

TeachingFierce19:46

The pivot point for women in the highest urgency stage is making the decision 'I'm not leaving without my baby' - this commitment changes everything

Rosanne has observed that women who reach this decisive mindset after multiple treatments and years of trying often turn their journeys around, even achieving natural conception after repeated IVF failures.

Episode Tone
2 empowering3 challenging1 fierce

Key Teachings 6

Your fertility journey has four distinct mindset stages that require different levels of support - from talking to friends early on to daily structured mindset work in the mama making marathon phase

1:00

Fear-based choices become the primary problem when you reach the mama making marathon stage, causing women to jump from doctor to doctor without an overarching strategy

12:05

Women with point values 35-45 oscillate between determination and utter despair, requiring daily fertility-specific mindset work and group coaching at minimum

16:56

The DIY approach to mindset work stops being effective once you reach point values above 22 - you need fertility-specific structured support based on a proven method

23:52

Your mindset follows you everywhere - into doctor appointments, family gatherings, and baby showers - making it your biggest advantage or disadvantage on this journey

21:48

The pivot point for women in the highest urgency stage is making the decision 'I'm not leaving without my baby' - this commitment changes everything

19:46

Perspectives 1

You can figure out fertility mindset challenges on your own through Google searches and talking to friends

CONSIDER: Once you reach the mama making marathon stage (point values 23+), DIY approaches actually keep you stuck in fear-based decision making and require structured, fertility-specific mindset support

Quotable Moments

I'm not leaving without my baby

Rosanne Austin20:06

Your mindset goes everywhere with you. Your head follows you in to your doctor's appointments, your head follows you into family gatherings, Your head follows you into baby showers and all the things that are are going on in your life. If your head is not right, you are at a distinct disadvantage

Rosanne Austin21:48

what the fuck? I'm doing all the things and nothing's working

Rosanne Austin12:13

seriously, at the end of the day, do you think any one of the miracle mamas you've heard on my podcast gave two shits about what anyone thought of them as they were holding their babies for the first time? No fucking way

Rosanne Austin33:33

The way that you think is your insurance policy against regret

Rosanne Austin30:08

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Liz spent 10 years in an unhealthy relationship telling herself she didn't want kids rather than facing the reality, then ghosted her future husband because she couldn't believe he liked her for who she was. These same worthiness patterns showed up as immediately running to IVF after one miscarriage at 41.

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything - relationship patterns will show up in your fertility journey.

Liz's pattern of feeling unworthy in her relationship (ghosting her husband because she couldn't believe he liked her) directly translated to feeling inadequate about conceiving and immediately seeking medical intervention after one miscarriage instead of trusting her body.

The prove it mentality is inherently defensive and positions you as a victim rather than the leader of your fertility journey

Women who blame all fertility professionals as frauds create walls that make them nearly impossible to help, missing opportunities for breakthrough support that could change their outcomes.

At the core of the prove it mentality is the belief that you don't deserve to have this baby

Women who constantly demand proof before investing in support secretly don't believe they're worth having what they say they want, leading to self-sabotage patterns that block their baby.