Rosanne explores how the "prove it" mentality - the I'll-believe-it-when-I-see-it approach - creates defensive, fear-based blocks on your fertility journey. She reveals how this mindset stems from not believing you deserve your baby and provides strategies to shift into faith and openness.
Rosanne explains how the 'I'll believe it when I see it' mentality creates inherent defensiveness, suspicion, and victim positioning. This defensive stance prevents women from being open to help and positions them to blame others rather than take responsibility for their fertility journey outcomes.
At the heart of prove it mentality lies the deep belief that you don't deserve what you say you want. This unworthiness belief leads to self-sabotage patterns, provider-hopping, and an inability to fully invest in solutions that could work.
Rosanne teaches how to replace the prove it mentality with faith and openness. She emphasizes that suspicion and doubt are not where your baby lives, and provides practical ways to shift from demanding proof to asking how something can work for you.
The episode concludes with addressing how prove it thinking stems from ego and fear of being wrong. Rosanne challenges listeners to examine where this mentality shows up in their journey and provides homework for creating lasting change through awareness and self-reflection.
“The primary problem that comes up with this kind of what I call prove it mentality is it is inherently defensive.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:15
The prove it mentality is the 'I'll believe it when I see it' approach where you demand evidence before investing in support or believing success is possible. It creates defensive, suspicious thinking that blocks opportunities.
“If you don't believe you deserve what you say you want, you won't do what it takes to have it, and you will sabotage it without even knowing.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 12:20
The prove it mentality blocks fertility by creating defensiveness, suspicion, and ultimately stems from not believing you deserve your baby. This leads to self-sabotage, provider-hopping, and closing yourself off to opportunities that could help.
“To broadly paint all fertility professionals as being out to get you, that's not a position of power.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 4:08
Blaming fertility doctors often comes from a defensive prove-it mentality and victim mindset. While some providers may underperform, broadly painting all professionals as frauds stems from not believing you deserve success and creates walls that prevent help.
“You replace the suspicion with faith. And it's not from a Pollyanna perspective, but you begin to realize that there have been some fear based ways of thinking that have created blocks between you and your baby.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 13:42
Replace the prove it mentality with faith, openness, and belief in your worthiness. Ask 'How can this work for me?' instead of demanding proof. Approach relationships with trust rather than suspicion and defensiveness.
“I know a lot of big hearted, kind, amazeballs women who until they address this in them, they will continue to sabotage. But when they learn how to turn things around, it's like, bam. It's like the baby comes out of nowhere.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 12:30
Stop sabotaging fertility success by addressing core worthiness beliefs and the prove it mentality. Recognize where you're demanding proof instead of investing in yourself with faith. Ask yourself where you don't actually believe you deserve your baby.
Steps to recognize where you're demanding proof instead of investing in yourself with faith
Examine Your Defensiveness
Ask yourself where you're being defensive, suspicious, or blaming others on your fertility journey
Check Your Worthiness Beliefs
Honestly assess whether you truly believe you deserve to have this baby and the support needed to get there
Replace Suspicion with Faith
Shift from asking 'prove it to me' to asking 'how can this work for me?' with openness and trust
Take Responsibility
Stop blaming providers and take ownership of your choices and results on this journey
The prove it mentality is inherently defensive and positions you as a victim rather than the leader of your fertility journey
Women who blame all fertility professionals as frauds create walls that make them nearly impossible to help, missing opportunities for breakthrough support that could change their outcomes.
At the core of the prove it mentality is the belief that you don't deserve to have this baby
Women who constantly demand proof before investing in support secretly don't believe they're worth having what they say they want, leading to self-sabotage patterns that block their baby.
The prove it mentality makes you hop from coach to coach or physician to physician, never giving anyone a legitimate opportunity to help
Fear-based women switch providers constantly because they're terrified of being wrong, preventing any professional from building the trust and continuity needed for successful treatment.
Suspicion and doubt are not where your baby lives - you need to replace suspicion with faith
Women who transform their mindset from defensive suspicion to open-hearted faith consistently see breakthrough results, often conceiving in ways they hadn't anticipated.
If you don't believe you deserve what you say you want, you won't do what it takes to have it and will sabotage without knowing
Many big-hearted women continue to sabotage their fertility journey until they address their core worthiness beliefs, then experience breakthrough pregnancies that seem to come out of nowhere.
The prove it mentality is egotistical and based in hubris - you only know your own experience
Women stuck in 'I know this and that' thinking limit themselves to their past failures instead of remaining open to new possibilities and approaches that could work.
People with prove it mentality are so afraid of being wrong they'll cling to broken beliefs just to save face
Some women refuse to consider that their approach needs adjustment, holding onto failed strategies rather than admitting they might need to grow or try something different.
Women often focus only on the physical, do nothing about the mental, then discover mindset work creates breakthrough results
Many women exhaust medical options believing medicine will save them, then experience rapid success when they finally address their mindset after years of treatment failure.
The prove it mentality is inherently defensive and positions you as a victim rather than the leader of your fertility journey
▶ 3:15At the core of the prove it mentality is the belief that you don't deserve to have this baby
▶ 7:02The prove it mentality makes you hop from coach to coach or physician to physician, never giving anyone a legitimate opportunity to help
▶ 10:36Suspicion and doubt are not where your baby lives - you need to replace suspicion with faith
▶ 11:28If you don't believe you deserve what you say you want, you won't do what it takes to have it and will sabotage without knowing
▶ 12:20The prove it mentality is egotistical and based in hubris - you only know your own experience
▶ 13:11People with prove it mentality are so afraid of being wrong they'll cling to broken beliefs just to save face
▶ 14:13Women often focus only on the physical, do nothing about the mental, then discover mindset work creates breakthrough results
▶ 16:36“Being realistic and sensible means expecting the worst and waiting for proof”
CONSIDER: True wisdom comes from replacing suspicion with faith and believing in your worthiness
“Switching providers frequently protects you from being taken advantage of”
CONSIDER: Constant provider-hopping prevents anyone from building the trust and continuity needed to truly help you
“Suspicion and doubt are not where your baby lives, mama.”
“If you don't believe you deserve what you say you want, you won't do what it takes to have it, and you will sabotage it without even knowing.”
“The desire in your heart to be a mom, it's there because it was meant for you.”
“When you believe all those things that we were just discussing that people are out to get you, that you're defensive, you're suspicious, you're laden in lack and scarcity, and you actually don't believe good things can happen for you, how likely are you to do anything that's actually gonna move you forward?”
“You point one finger at somebody, there are three fingers pointing right back at you.”
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Conditions
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
Worthiness issues from earlier relationships directly impact fertility journey outcomes and decision-making patterns.
Liz spent 10 years in an unhealthy relationship telling herself she didn't want kids rather than facing the reality, then ghosted her future husband because she couldn't believe he liked her for who she was. These same worthiness patterns showed up as immediately running to IVF after one miscarriage at 41.
The way you do one thing is the way you do everything - relationship patterns will show up in your fertility journey.
Liz's pattern of feeling unworthy in her relationship (ghosting her husband because she couldn't believe he liked her) directly translated to feeling inadequate about conceiving and immediately seeking medical intervention after one miscarriage instead of trusting her body.
There's no arbitrary number that says when to quit fertility treatment - the question is how bad do you want what you say you want
Marina did 9 IVF cycles with 15 embryo transfers over 5 years before conceiving her baby boy, proving that persistence with the right mindset can overcome seemingly impossible odds.
You are the common denominator in all of your fertility experiences - changing clinics, countries, and protocols won't work if you don't change yourself
Marina changed clinics multiple times and traveled from Italy to Brazil but didn't get pregnant until she addressed her mindset, conceiving within 4 months of mindset work after 5 years of treatment failure.
