In the first episode of the Mr. & Mrs. Austin series, Rosanne and her husband discuss the initial shock, confusion, and relationship challenges when their fertility journey began. They share how they went from confusion and poor communication to finding their voices, setting boundaries with medical professionals, and ultimately changing their mindset to conceive naturally at 43.
The Austins share their initial confusion when conception didn't happen as expected. Mr. Austin's belief that 'one plus one always equals a third' was challenged, while Rosanne immediately went into solution-finding mode, creating an imbalance in their approach to the problem.
Both partners struggled with expressing unfamiliar emotions around fertility stress. Mr. Austin felt inadequate in his support role and worried about unequal commitment levels, while lacking male peer support systems that women typically have during difficult times.
The couple describes reaching a breaking point where fertility treatments were threatening Rosanne's health and their relationship. Mr. Austin recognized his wife couldn't stop the treatment cycle on her own and felt powerless to intervene effectively.
After early uncomfortable experiences with medical professionals, the Austins learned to stand up together when treatments didn't feel right. This shift from subordinating their feelings to medical authority became crucial in their eventual success.
The couple made a definitive decision to reject medical statistics as their destiny and change their entire approach. This mindset transformation, combined with improved communication, led to natural conception at 43 after years of treatment failure.
“Your relationship is the first place we dump our stress, and it's the last place we look for blocks.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:53
Fertility treatments can strain relationships through unequal commitment levels, poor communication, pent-up resentments, and feeling unsupported. Partners often struggle with new emotions they've never experienced while dealing with medical procedures and mounting stress.
“Being along for the ride regardless of the benefit, it was the way I felt I could support.”
— Mr. Austin▶ 15:15
Men often feel confused, inadequate, and worried about unequal commitment levels during fertility treatments. They may struggle to communicate unfamiliar emotions and lack places to process their experience before discussing it with their partner.
“I'd rather pay money to not live with regret.”
— Mr. Austin▶ 23:42
The decision should be based on avoiding lifelong regret rather than just financial cost. Many couples prefer to invest in trying everything possible rather than live with wondering 'what if' they had done more.
“Give your men the full background. Don't you got this inner monologue going and going and going, and then all of a sudden, you just blurt out exactly what you want.”
— Mr. Austin▶ 32:03
Share the full background and research behind decisions rather than just presenting conclusions. Partners should ask for more information when they feel resistant, and both should have courage to speak up when something doesn't feel right.
“Having the courage to stand up to any professional, of any topic and say, you know, simply, this doesn't feel right for us.”
— Mr. Austin▶ 29:27
Couples should speak up whenever a treatment or approach doesn't feel right for them, without needing to provide detailed explanations. Having the courage to protect your relationship from uncomfortable medical situations is essential.
Steps couples can take to maintain strong communication and boundaries during their fertility journey
Share Full Context
When presenting new treatment ideas, share your complete research process and reasoning, not just your conclusion
Ask for More Information
When feeling resistant to your partner's suggestions, ask 'tell me more' rather than giving a flat no
Stand Up Together
Have courage to tell medical professionals when something doesn't feel right for you as a couple
Avoid Regret-Based Decisions
Make treatment investments based on avoiding future regret rather than just current financial concerns
Protect Each Other
Be willing to defend your relationship and partner from uncomfortable medical situations or pressure
Your relationship is the first place you dump stress and the last place you look for blocks, which can create barriers to conception
Rosanne Austin conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure when she and her husband addressed relationship blocks including poor communication, pent-up resentments, and feeling unsupported.
Partners often have unequal commitment levels to fertility treatments, with one person pushing harder while the other feels inadequate about their ability to support
Mr. Austin reveals he oscillated between feeling he wasn't participating enough and feeling pushed too hard, while not knowing how to adequately support his wife through treatments.
Men often lack places to process fertility journey emotions, leaving them fumbling to communicate uncharted feelings to their partners
Mr. Austin explains that men don't have sounding boards with friends like women do, making it difficult to process fertility stress before communicating with their partner.
Fertility journeys can drive women into self-torture mode where they can't stop treatments even when they're becoming unhealthy
Mr. Austin witnessed Rosanne sitting on the bathtub edge turning gray while trying to give herself fertility shots, recognizing she couldn't tell herself it would be the last round.
The fear of not trying everything can cost more than money—it's about avoiding lifelong regret about what could have been
Mr. Austin preferred to spend money on fertility treatments rather than have money for a bass boat while wondering if they could have done more to conceive.
Having the courage to tell medical professionals 'this doesn't feel right for us' is essential for protecting your relationship and wellbeing
The Austins learned to stand up together against medical professionals after early experiences where they subordinated their feelings to doctors' recommendations.
Statistics and medical predictions only apply to people who remain in the same mindset and life patterns as those who created the statistics
The Austins were told they needed donor eggs but conceived naturally at 43 after changing their mindset and approach to fertility.
Women often present conclusions without sharing their research process, making partners feel confused and resistant to new ideas
Mr. Austin explains that when Rosanne would announce decisions without sharing her background research, his initial reaction was to think she was crazy until he understood her reasoning.
When partners say no to fertility-related requests, they often mean 'no, tell me more' but fail to communicate the second part
Mr. Austin reveals that his resistance to new treatments or approaches was really a request for more information, not a flat refusal.
Your relationship is the first place you dump stress and the last place you look for blocks, which can create barriers to conception
▶ 2:53Partners often have unequal commitment levels to fertility treatments, with one person pushing harder while the other feels inadequate about their ability to support
▶ 9:15Men often lack places to process fertility journey emotions, leaving them fumbling to communicate uncharted feelings to their partners
▶ 14:14Fertility journeys can drive women into self-torture mode where they can't stop treatments even when they're becoming unhealthy
▶ 17:30The fear of not trying everything can cost more than money—it's about avoiding lifelong regret about what could have been
▶ 23:00Having the courage to tell medical professionals 'this doesn't feel right for us' is essential for protecting your relationship and wellbeing
▶ 29:27Statistics and medical predictions only apply to people who remain in the same mindset and life patterns as those who created the statistics
▶ 27:27Women often present conclusions without sharing their research process, making partners feel confused and resistant to new ideas
▶ 32:03When partners say no to fertility-related requests, they often mean 'no, tell me more' but fail to communicate the second part
▶ 34:17“Medical statistics determine your fertility outcomes”
CONSIDER: Statistics only apply to people living the same life and mindset as those who created the numbers—they don't have to be your story
“Partners should automatically know how to support each other through fertility treatments”
CONSIDER: Fertility support requires new communication skills and courage to stand up for your relationship together
“Your relationship is the first place we dump our stress, and it's the last place we look for blocks.”
“When you see me pick up a chainsaw, you don't come running to get in the way.”
“I'd rather pay money to not live with regret.”
“Those are other people's numbers. Why do they have to be ours?”
“Give your men the full background. Don't you got this inner monologue going and going and going, and then all of a sudden, you just blurt out exactly what you want.”
EP273 Fertility Success or Failure Is Predictable: Here’s How
Your fertility success or failure isn't in the hands of doctors or fate—it's completely predictable based on whether you choose your excuses or your dreams.
Ep. 184: The Mr. & Mrs. Austin Series: Biggest Lessons Learned
Discover why Rosanne Austin calls her fertility journey 'the greatest gift' and the relationship lessons that can transform your own journey from struggle to strength.
EP160 From “Broken” To Breakthrough…and Her Baby: Connie’s Story
After failed IVF cycles left her feeling broken, Connie defied medical advice and conceived naturally at 41 by learning to trust herself and surrender control.
Fertility success or failure is completely predictable based on whether you make excuses or refuse to tolerate them
After observing thousands of women over 10+ years, Rosanne has identified consistent patterns where women who beat insane odds stopped tolerating their own excuses, while those who failed remained committed to their limitations.
Your excuses are an exact prediction of why you will quit your fertility journey
Women who make excuses about money will quit because of money, those who make excuses about age will quit because of age, and those who tolerate partner negativity will give up because of their partner's resistance.
If you truly desire something, you can have it - the timeline is completely irrelevant and made up
Rosanne conceived naturally at almost 44, months away from her 44th birthday, after years of treatment failure and being told she was running out of time.
You can choose to be an outlier, not a statistic - there's an X factor where belief, spirit, and faith come in
As a former prosecutor trained in facts and statistics, Rosanne had to make the mental leap to choose being an outlier rather than accepting statistical predictions about her fertility at 43.
