In the final episode of the Mr. & Mrs. Austin series, Rosanne and her husband share the biggest lessons learned from their fertility journey. They reveal how their struggles became preparation for parenthood and transformed their lives, offering insights that couples can use to strengthen their relationship during fertility challenges.
Rosanne introduces the controversial idea that fertility journeys are gifts and preparation for parenthood. She explains how their struggles prepared them to be Asher's parents and created a dramatically different life than if he had come immediately when they first asked.
Her husband shares insights about relationship strength, non-traditional courage, and the importance of mindset over just hard work. He emphasizes that everything happens FOR you rather than TO you, and that treating the journey as a team sport keeps it lighter and more productive.
Rosanne reveals her top lessons including that timelines are made up, you can choose to be an outlier, victimhood is a choice, and being willing to be 'the woman who finds out.' She shares how the journey gave her unshakable faith and taught her that what you need always shows up in unexpected ways.
The couple discusses how these lessons continue to serve them in all areas of life, from moves to accidents to parenting decisions. They emphasize that these insights are only possible to see in retrospect and encourage couples to look for lessons and small wins along the way.
“If I truly desire something, I can have it. The timeline is not relevant. It's totally fucking made up.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 11:33
The biggest lessons include that if you truly desire something you can have it regardless of timeline, you can choose to be an outlier rather than a statistic, and everything happens FOR you not TO you. Couples also learn that courage takes non-traditional forms like advocating with doctors, and that treating the journey as a team keeps it lighter and more productive.
“I always felt like we were an effective team and treating it like a team kept it light, kept it fun at times.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 8:49
Couples can stay strong by treating their journey like a team sport with high-fives and shared accountability, being willing to advocate together against uncomfortable medical situations, and recognizing that their struggles are preparing them for the kind of parents they need to become. It's also important to still have fun and celebrate small wins together.
“Everything that we went through was preparation for being Asher's parents.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:34
Austin calls fertility struggles a gift because they were preparation for being the kind of parents their son needed, gave her unshakable faith, taught her to live in abundance, and transformed her into someone willing to find out what's possible. The journey gave her life back and created a completely different life than they would have lived if their child came immediately.
“I can choose to be an outlier, not a statistic. There is this x factor where belief comes in, where spirit comes in, where faith comes in.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 12:56
You choose to be an outlier by recognizing that statistics don't determine your individual outcome and that there's an X-factor involving belief, spirit, and faith. Instead of accepting statistical predictions, you decide that your desire and willingness to hang in for your child matters more than population-level data.
“I don't even question what the reason is. I just have an absolute faith.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 19:56
It means reframing challenges as purposeful preparation rather than random suffering. Instead of asking 'why is this happening to me,' you trust that difficulties are preparing you for something greater, even when you can't see the reason yet. This shift creates tremendous peace and resilience.
“Expectations plus hard work without mindset didn't mean anything for us.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 10:02
Mindset bridges the gap because fertility is completely nonlinear, unlike other areas where hard work directly correlates with results. Without the right mindset, you might be working hard at the wrong things or from a place of fear and scarcity rather than abundance and possibility.
Practical steps couples can take to stay connected and supportive during their fertility journey
Treat it like a team sport
Approach your journey as teammates with high-fives, shared accountability, and celebration of small wins together.
Practice non-traditional courage
Be willing to advocate together against medical providers or situations that don't feel right, even when it's uncomfortable.
Reframe struggles as preparation
Ask 'how is this happening FOR us?' instead of 'why is this happening TO us?' to find meaning in challenges.
Maintain joy and fun
Make day trips out of appointments, find humor where possible, and don't let the journey consume all aspects of your relationship.
Build small wins
Acknowledge and celebrate tiny victories together rather than only focusing on the ultimate outcome.
If you truly desire something, you can have it - the timeline is completely irrelevant and made up
Rosanne conceived naturally at almost 44, months away from her 44th birthday, after years of treatment failure and being told she was running out of time.
You can choose to be an outlier, not a statistic - there's an X factor where belief, spirit, and faith come in
As a former prosecutor trained in facts and statistics, Rosanne had to make the mental leap to choose being an outlier rather than accepting statistical predictions about her fertility at 43.
Victimhood is a choice - it's about powerlessness and handing your agency for outcomes to other people
Rosanne realized that despite thinking she had everything together as a prosecutor, her mentality was that of a victim, which kept her stuck until she reclaimed her power.
Expectations plus hard work without mindset doesn't mean anything - mindset is the key to bridging nonlinear outcomes
Mr. Austin learned that their expectation that hard work would equal results was violated on their fertility journey, requiring a complete mindset shift to succeed.
Courage takes non-traditional forms - it might mean standing up to a doctor you're uncomfortable with
Mr. Austin expected to protect his wife from physical danger but learned courage meant advocating against medical professionals who weren't serving them well.
Everything that happens, even the uncomfortable stuff, is happening FOR you, not TO you
Mr. Austin experienced this realization in a hospital bed, which gave him tremendous peace and has served them in every challenge since, including moves and accidents.
What you need always shows up, always in an unexpected way - we live in an abundant universe
Despite Rosanne's childhood programming around lack and scarcity, everything they needed for their fertility journey always appeared, though not always as cash falling from the sky.
Be willing to be the woman that finds out - do everything you know to do so you don't have regret
This decision transformed Rosanne's approach from fear-based to courage-based and now shows up in how she writes, coaches, and lives her entire life.
Failure isn't final - failures propel you to something bigger and better
Rosanne's fertility failures didn't predict failure in building her coaching business, despite having no background in business or coaching.
Treating your fertility journey like a team keeps it light, fun, and more productive
Mr. Austin found that approaching their journey as teammates, with high-fives and shared accountability, made them more successful and kept joy in their relationship.
If you truly desire something, you can have it - the timeline is completely irrelevant and made up
▶ 11:33You can choose to be an outlier, not a statistic - there's an X factor where belief, spirit, and faith come in
▶ 12:56Victimhood is a choice - it's about powerlessness and handing your agency for outcomes to other people
▶ 13:36Expectations plus hard work without mindset doesn't mean anything - mindset is the key to bridging nonlinear outcomes
▶ 9:42Courage takes non-traditional forms - it might mean standing up to a doctor you're uncomfortable with
▶ 5:29Everything that happens, even the uncomfortable stuff, is happening FOR you, not TO you
▶ 18:03What you need always shows up, always in an unexpected way - we live in an abundant universe
▶ 15:50Be willing to be the woman that finds out - do everything you know to do so you don't have regret
▶ 17:22Failure isn't final - failures propel you to something bigger and better
▶ 18:05Treating your fertility journey like a team keeps it light, fun, and more productive
▶ 8:49“Your fertility journey is a medical problem that happens TO you”
CONSIDER: Everything on your fertility journey is happening FOR you as preparation for the parent you need to become
“Statistics and timelines determine your fertility outcomes”
CONSIDER: You can choose to be an outlier - the timeline is completely made up
“Hard work guarantees results in fertility like everything else”
CONSIDER: Expectations plus hard work without mindset doesn't mean anything - this journey is completely nonlinear
“If I truly desire something, I can have it. The timeline is not relevant. It's totally fucking made up.”
“Everything that we went through was preparation for being Asher's parents.”
“I can choose to be an outlier, not a statistic.”
“Courage takes nontraditional forms.”
“Victimhood is a choice.”
“Everything, even the uncomfortable shit, is for me.”
“Failure isn't final.”
“I'm willing to be the woman that finds out.”
EP288: The Break Glass In Case of Fertility Freakout Episode
The most powerful episode to save for your darkest fertility moments - Rosanne's fierce wake-up call that will snap you out of despair and back into your power.
EP315: Keep Using This Excuse, You'll Be A Fertility Failure GUARANTEED
The excuse 'I can't afford it' is actually you saying 'I'm not worth it' — and it will guarantee your fertility failure.
EP273 Fertility Success or Failure Is Predictable: Here’s How
Your fertility success or failure isn't in the hands of doctors or fate—it's completely predictable based on whether you choose your excuses or your dreams.
Conditions
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
The desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was fucking meant for you - this desire is your divine assignment
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by following this principle. Recent podcast guests Elise and Mikayla both held babies after choosing belief over their circumstances.
Belief always precedes the miracle - you must believe even in the darkest moments, not just when things feel good
All of the recent podcast success stories featured women who believed bigger than their current circumstances. A fertility expert interviewed confirmed that most fertility challenges are figureoutable.
Turning 40 doesn't mean fertility ends — it just means the game changes, and different doesn't equal bad
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of being told it would never happen. Chris has helped patients conceive up to age 45 with their own eggs.
Statistics are averages — if you were average, you'd already have kids. You're an outlier, which means you can beat average odds
Chris treats thousands of patients and gives everyone 50/50 odds because 'you're either going to get pregnant or you're not' regardless of age
