Rosanne addresses the perfectionist trap that keeps women paralyzed by fear of making mistakes on their fertility journey. Using Teddy Roosevelt's famous 'Man in the Arena' speech, she reframes mistakes as valuable information rather than failures.
Rosanne opens by examining how high-achieving women torture themselves when things aren't exactly right, often preventing them from taking necessary action. She shares her own experience of refusing help despite mental anguish because she believed her academic achievements should make her mistake-proof on her fertility journey.
Using Teddy Roosevelt's famous 1910 speech, Rosanne teaches that there are winners and posers, but winning isn't determined by immediate outcome - it's by having the guts to be in the arena doing the work. She emphasizes that fertility patients are like gladiators entering the arena daily, striving for something noble.
The core teaching reveals that mistakes are simply choices that provide valuable information leading in new directions. When women grasp this concept, they give themselves freedom to experiment and try new things, knowing no mistake is fatal unless they make it so.
Rosanne provides a concrete exercise for making peace with past mistakes by listing them alongside the blessings they provided. She encourages women to see every 'mistake' as a gift in disguise that contributed to their growth and journey toward motherhood.
“mistakes are simply choices that gave you information, information that is leading you in a new direction”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 8:24
Reframe mistakes as choices that give you valuable information leading you in a new direction. Remember that there's no effort without error, and the shame should be in not trying, not in making mistakes while striving for your dreams.
“It's utterly laughable how we make the foolish extrapolation that our education and experience should make us mistake proof”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:24
High-achieving women make the foolish extrapolation that their education and experience should make them mistake-proof. They believe their academic or professional success means they should be able to figure out fertility without help or mistakes.
“every day you are on this journey, you are like a fucking gladiator, feeling the crunch of the gravel under your sandal as you enter the arena”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 8:03
The Man in the Arena philosophy means being the woman who dares greatly rather than sitting on the sidelines. It's about striving valiantly even if you err, because there's no effort without error and the credit belongs to those actually doing the work.
“if you are willing to see the blessing, you will see that each one of our quote unquote mistakes is actually a gift in disguise”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 11:29
Write down three mistakes you want to make peace with, then identify exactly why each mistake was actually a blessing. Every mistake is a gift in disguise if you're willing to see the blessing it provided.
“to hold yourself to a standard of no mistakes is absolutely crushing, not only to your soul, but it is going to have you living beneath your potential”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 9:36
Holding yourself to a standard of no mistakes is crushing to your soul and keeps you living beneath your potential. It prevents forward action and turns driven women into indecisive masses unable to make progress.
A practical exercise to reframe your relationship with mistakes and embrace being in the arena
Examine your relationship with past mistakes
Ask yourself: What is the relationship you choose to have with the mistakes you've made in the past? Really think about this question and use your brain to consider your answer.
List and reframe three mistakes
Draw a line down the middle of a page. On one side, write three 'mistakes' you want to make peace with from any area of your life. On the other side, write exactly why each mistake was actually a blessing in disguise.
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Fear of making mistakes paralyzes otherwise driven women into indecisive inaction on their fertility journey
Rosanne shares her own experience of refusing help despite living in a 'mental shit pit for years' because she believed her law degree and academic achievements should make her mistake-proof on her fertility journey.
The shame should be in not trying, not in making mistakes while striving for your dreams
Rosanne quotes Teddy Roosevelt's speech emphasizing that 'there is no effort without error and shortcoming' and the credit belongs to those actually in the arena striving, not the critics on the sidelines.
Mistakes are simply choices that gave you information leading you in a new direction
When you apply this reframe, you give yourself freedom to experiment and try new things, knowing no mistake is fatal unless you make it so because you have a brain to decide what any mistake means.
High-achieving women make the foolish extrapolation that their education and experience should make them mistake-proof
Rosanne describes telling herself 'I graduated summa cum laude, I have a law degree, I passed the toughest California bar in 20 years, I can figure this fertility shit out' while living in mental anguish for years.
Every day on your fertility journey, you are like a gladiator entering the arena
Rosanne emphasizes that women listening to this podcast aren't like everyone else - they stand for something noble (becoming a mom) and aren't willing to accept excuse-laden bullshit, making them warriors in the arena.
Holding yourself to a standard of no mistakes is absolutely crushing to your soul and keeps you living beneath your potential
Rosanne explains that making yourself into somebody who absolutely cannot make a mistake prevents any forward action, and there's nothing more heartbreaking than a woman not living to her potential when her dream is as noble as being a mom.
Fear of making mistakes paralyzes otherwise driven women into indecisive inaction on their fertility journey
▶ 1:23The shame should be in not trying, not in making mistakes while striving for your dreams
▶ 6:42Mistakes are simply choices that gave you information leading you in a new direction
▶ 8:24High-achieving women make the foolish extrapolation that their education and experience should make them mistake-proof
▶ 2:03Every day on your fertility journey, you are like a gladiator entering the arena
▶ 7:43Holding yourself to a standard of no mistakes is absolutely crushing to your soul and keeps you living beneath your potential
▶ 9:26“Mistakes are failures that should be avoided at all costs”
CONSIDER: Mistakes are simply choices that give you valuable information leading you in a new direction
“Smart, educated women should be able to figure out fertility on their own without making mistakes”
CONSIDER: Even the most accomplished women need support and will make mistakes as part of the human condition
“every day you are on this journey, you are like a fucking gladiator, feeling the crunch of the gravel under your sandal as you enter the arena”
“mistakes are simply choices that gave you information, information that is leading you in a new direction”
“There is no shame in making mistakes. The shame, if there was going to be any, is in not trying”
“It's utterly laughable how we make the foolish extrapolation that our education and experience should make us mistake proof”
“to hold yourself to a standard of no mistakes is absolutely crushing, not only to your soul, but it is going to have you living beneath your potential”
EP201 Are You Really Ready? The Dream v. Being Ready to Receive It.
Are you just dreaming about your baby, or are you actually ready to receive them?
EP194 The Fertility Success Code In A Simple Story: Thanks Asher!
The simple story that reveals exactly what separates women who beat the odds from those who stay stuck in struggle.
EP177 The Cure for Feeling Sorry For Yourself
The simple mindset shift that pulls you out of fertility journey self-pity and puts you back in control of your destiny.
There's a fundamental difference between wanting a baby from lack versus being ready to receive one - wanting comes from what isn't here, while readiness focuses on preparing for what's to come
Rosanne observed this shift in all successful clients featured on her podcast over 200+ episodes, noting when 'the switch flips' from chasing energy to confident readiness
Being ready to receive has an innate emotional maturity, confidence, peace and calm that is decidedly different from the desperate energy of 'when is my baby gonna get here?'
Rosanne describes recognizing this shift in all women who achieved success on her podcast, noting it's 'truly a beautiful thing' to observe when the transformation happens
Women who beat the odds on their fertility journey have a visceral 'why' - they know exactly what moments they're fighting for and are more committed to that vision than their excuses or fears
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by focusing on moments like her son Asher inviting her to slumber parties. A woman who DM'd this week got her positive test after 9 years of trying and 5 IVFs by applying this principle.
The fertility success code is not a recipe but a set of indicators - when present, they show a woman will succeed regardless of age, diagnosis, or how many times she's failed
Over 8 years of coaching women to fertility success, Rosanne has observed consistent patterns. A recent client succeeded after 9 years of trying, 5 IVFs and double-digit transfers by following these principles.
