Part one of a three-part series on boundaries for fertility warriors. Rosanne defines boundaries as the personal rules we choose to live by and helps you assess where your current boundaries might be keeping you stuck, exhausted, and frustrated on your journey.
Rosanne strips away the anxiety around boundaries by defining them simply as the personal rules we choose to live by in our interactions. She addresses the fear that boundaries make you confrontational or mean, reframing them as loving guidelines that set everyone up for success.
Type A women can enforce workplace rules but struggle personally because they seek love and connection through pleasing and achieving. Most people operate from default boundaries given by parents without questioning if they actually work until major life challenges force awareness.
The best indicator of boundary health is how you feel about your life - elated or constantly frustrated. Rosanne provides specific questions to identify weak boundaries: Do people get to be inconsiderate? Are you doing all the work? Are you praised for being 'easygoing'?
Poor boundaries create blocks between you and your baby because babies need space in our lives. When you're exhausted from weak boundaries, you don't create the energetic space needed for conception. This sets up the next episode on actually setting new boundaries.
“boundaries, as I see them, are the rules we choose to live by, particularly with reference to the way we interact with people”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:04
Boundaries are the personal rules we choose to live by, particularly in how we interact with people. They're not about being mean or confrontational - they're about setting everyone up for success with you.
“A good barometer for if they are working in your life is how you feel about your life right now. Are you fucking elated, or are you in a constant state of what the fuck?”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 5:09
A good way to tell if your boundaries are working is how you feel about your life right now. If you're constantly exhausted, doing all the work while others coast, feeling disappointed in people around you, or saying yes to things you hate, your boundaries need work.
“we tend to be wonderfully shitty about our own. But more often than not, that has to do with the overachiever in us desiring love and connection through pleasing or achieving”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:27
Type A women tend to be wonderfully shitty about their own boundaries because the overachiever in us desires love and connection through pleasing or achieving. We can enforce rules at work but struggle in our personal lives.
“Poor boundaries can definitely create blocks between you and your baby. Don't let that be true in your life.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 11:10
Yes, poor boundaries can create blocks between you and your baby. Babies need space in our lives, and when we're constantly exhausted from weak boundaries, we don't create the energetic space needed for conception.
“Boundaries are about you setting everyone up for success with you. For that reason, I see boundaries as one of the most loving things we can put in place”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 9:07
Not at all. Boundaries are about setting everyone up for success with you and are one of the most loving things you can put in place for relationships. The idea that boundaries make you mean is just a story fed by people who benefit from your compliance.
“Do people praise you for being easygoing? That's just code for the fact that you tolerate a lot, baby.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 7:14
Signs include: people being inconsiderate of you, doing all the work while others coast, being the person everyone relies on, tolerating lateness and excuses, feeling disappointed in people, and being praised for being 'easygoing' (which just means you tolerate a lot).
A framework for evaluating whether your boundaries are serving you or keeping you stuck
Check your emotional state
Ask yourself: Am I fucking elated about my life or in a constant state of 'what the fuck?' Your emotions don't lie about boundary health.
Assess relationship patterns
Do people get to be inconsiderate of you? Are you doing all the work while others coast? Do you find yourself constantly disappointed in people?
Examine your responses
Do you say yes to things you hate just to be 'nice'? Are you praised for being 'easygoing'? Do people waste your time with repetitive problems?
Identify blocks to boundaries
What stories do you tell yourself about having boundaries? What does it mean to you if you set them? Get curious about resistance.
Boundaries are simply the personal rules we choose to live by, particularly in how we interact with people
Rosanne defines boundaries in straightforward terms to remove the anxiety and drama many women associate with the concept, helping her clients across 6 continents implement them successfully.
Type A women tend to be wonderfully shitty about their own boundaries because the overachiever in us desires love and connection through pleasing or achieving
Rosanne's 12+ years coaching high-achieving women shows this pattern repeatedly - they can enforce workplace rules but struggle with personal boundaries due to their achievement-oriented mindset.
Most people move through life with default boundaries given by parents or caregivers, never questioning if they actually work until something big collides with them
Rosanne's experience as both a former prosecutor and fertility coach shows how unconscious boundary patterns create problems until major life challenges like fertility struggles force awareness.
A good barometer for whether your boundaries are working is how you feel about your life right now - are you fucking elated or in a constant state of what the fuck
Rosanne teaches that emotions don't lie, and her methodology has helped women around the world transform from frustration to success, with two more natural pregnancies announced just this week after IVF failures.
When assessing boundaries, ask: Do people get to be inconsiderate of you? Are you doing all the work while others are hangers on? Do people praise you for being easygoing?
These assessment questions come from Rosanne's 12+ years coaching women who often show up as the 'responsible one' on their fertility journey, doing all the work while partners and family members coast.
Do you show up like a man on this journey, doing all the work and letting your partner slide, bitch, or complain instead of asking for what you want
Rosanne sees this pattern consistently in her Fearlessly Fertile Method program where women take on masculine energy, managing everything while partners remain uninvolved in the fertility journey.
Having boundaries doesn't mean you are a rigid diva bitch - that's just a made up story you've been fed by people who have something to gain by having you comply with their boundaries
Rosanne's background as a former prosecutor and current coach shows how boundary resistance often comes from family, government, and social systems that benefit from compliance rather than individual empowerment.
Boundaries are about setting everyone up for success with you and are one of the most loving things we can put in place for our relationships
In Rosanne's Fearlessly Fertile Method program, women who implement loving boundaries see improved relationships and better support on their fertility journey, contributing to the natural pregnancies her clients achieve.
Poor boundaries create shitty feelings that manifest as unsatisfying relationships, being late, putting yourself last, being exhausted, and feeling strangely out of control
Rosanne's 12+ years coaching women shows this pattern consistently - high achievers who have their external life together but feel internally chaotic due to boundary issues that drain their energy for conception.
Poor boundaries can definitely create blocks between you and your baby because babies need space in our lives despite their diminutive size
Women in Rosanne's Fearlessly Fertile Method program who clear boundary blocks and create space in their lives often achieve natural pregnancies, as evidenced by the two new pregnancies announced this week after IVF failures.
Boundaries are simply the personal rules we choose to live by, particularly in how we interact with people
▶ 2:04Type A women tend to be wonderfully shitty about their own boundaries because the overachiever in us desires love and connection through pleasing or achieving
▶ 3:27Most people move through life with default boundaries given by parents or caregivers, never questioning if they actually work until something big collides with them
▶ 4:38A good barometer for whether your boundaries are working is how you feel about your life right now - are you fucking elated or in a constant state of what the fuck
▶ 5:09When assessing boundaries, ask: Do people get to be inconsiderate of you? Are you doing all the work while others are hangers on? Do people praise you for being easygoing?
▶ 6:22Do you show up like a man on this journey, doing all the work and letting your partner slide, bitch, or complain instead of asking for what you want
▶ 7:14Having boundaries doesn't mean you are a rigid diva bitch - that's just a made up story you've been fed by people who have something to gain by having you comply with their boundaries
▶ 8:26Boundaries are about setting everyone up for success with you and are one of the most loving things we can put in place for our relationships
▶ 9:07Poor boundaries create shitty feelings that manifest as unsatisfying relationships, being late, putting yourself last, being exhausted, and feeling strangely out of control
▶ 9:47Poor boundaries can definitely create blocks between you and your baby because babies need space in our lives despite their diminutive size
▶ 11:10“Having boundaries means being confrontational, rigid, or mean”
CONSIDER: Boundaries are simply personal rules that set everyone up for success and are one of the most loving things you can implement
“Being praised for being 'easygoing' is a compliment”
CONSIDER: Being called easygoing is just code for the fact that you tolerate a lot of behavior that doesn't serve you
“Boundaries are simply the rules we choose to live by, particularly with reference to the way we interact with people.”
“A good barometer for if they are working in your life is how you feel about your life right now. Are you fucking elated, or are you in a constant state of what the fuck? Emotions don't lie, baby.”
“We tend to be wonderfully shitty about our own boundaries because the overachiever in us desires love and connection through pleasing or achieving.”
“Having boundaries doesn't mean you are a rigid diva bitch. That's just a made up story you have been fed by people who have something to gain by having you comply with their boundaries.”
“Do people praise you for being easygoing? That's just code for the fact that you tolerate a lot, baby.”
“Boundaries are about you setting everyone up for success with you. For that reason, I see boundaries as one of the most loving things we can put in place.”
“Poor boundaries can definitely create blocks between you and your baby. Don't let that be true in your life.”
EP5: The simple question that can transform your fertility journey
The three-word question that can save you thousands of dollars and get you to mama town faster.
EP40 By Following Her Intuition, She Beat the Odds
How a woman with kinked tubes and failed IVF cycles conceived naturally by following her intuition instead of her doctor's advice.
EP340: Fertile Miracle Papa Adam: From Losing Their "Only Chance" At A Baby, To Pregnant NATURALLY
A British papa reveals what it's really like watching your partner suffer through fertility treatments - and how they found their miracle after losing their 'only chance.'
Conditions
Frameworks & Methods
The transformational question 'Is this true for me?' empowers women to think critically about fertility advice and treatments instead of blindly following what others recommend
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of fertility treatment failure by learning to evaluate what was actually right for her unique situation rather than following generic protocols.
Women on fertility journeys often abandon their critical thinking skills despite being successful professionals in other areas of their lives
Rosanne's coaching practice is loaded with physicians from around the world who struggle with decision-making on their own fertility journeys, proving that medical training doesn't exempt women from this phenomenon.
You can be blocking your success by believing you don't deserve to have everything you want
Catherine discovered her saboteur belief 'you don't get to have everything you want' was blocking her conception because she feared if she had a baby, something would go wrong in her otherwise good life with her husband, job, and home.
Early life trauma can create unconscious blocks to fertility even decades later
Catherine realized her father's death when she was young created an unconscious fear that 'when everything is really good, something bad happens' and she actually believed if she had a child, someone would die.
