Rosanne breaks down the critical difference between being interested versus invested in your fertility journey success. Drawing from elite sports psychology, she challenges women to go all-in rather than staying on the sidelines as passive observers of their own dreams.
Rosanne introduces the concept from NFL coach Doug Peterson about being interested versus invested in winning. She explains how this distinction separates those who achieve success from those who remain perpetual observers of their own dreams.
The difference between being interested (window shopping, waiting for sales, staying on sidelines) versus invested (burn the ships, no turning back, playing rain or shine). Invested people commit to finding a way and surround themselves with believers and coaches.
The intimate nature of fertility journeys preys on self-worth and sucks away fierceness. Societal misogyny teaches women to be polite while men are applauded for aggressively pursuing goals. This conditioning creates self-sabotaging behavior when boldness is needed most.
Holding back risks looking back five years from now with bitterness and regret, still getting the same results. The fear of disappointment is a failed strategy because disappointment is disappointment - but taking bold action allows pride in having courage to leap.
“Interested. What does it mean to just be interested? In my world, that's being a lookie loo window shopper. Always looking, never buying, slow to the draw.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:14
Being interested means you're window shopping - considering the possibility but not making the decision to win. Being invested is 'burn the ships' mentality - all in with no turning back, doing what it takes rain or shine.
“I also think that holding back on this journey comes down to some good old fashioned societal misogyny. Good girls are supposed to be polite, keep their mouth shut, be nice, consider other people's feelings.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 10:41
Societal misogyny teaches women to be polite, keep quiet, and consider others' feelings instead of boldly pursuing what they want. When men go after their goals aggressively, we applaud them as go-getters.
“There is something you know, I'm not sure exactly what it is, but there's something about the nature of this journey. Maybe it's because it's intimate by nature or because it preys upon our sense of self worth. Whatever it is, it sucks away our willingness to be fierce.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 8:29
The fertility journey is intimate by nature and preys upon our sense of self-worth, which sucks away our willingness to be fierce. This leads to self-sabotaging behavior when being invested is critical.
“Woman, invest the money, make the call, send the email, get the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh opinion if you have to, hire the coach, set up the appointment, say hell yes.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 10:00
Being all in means investing money, getting multiple opinions, hiring coaches, making appointments, and saying hell yes. It's about not holding back and risking regret five years from now.
“Are you interested or are you invested? Be honest with yourself. Are you invested or are you merely interested?”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 8:24
Evaluate your actions - are they the actions of a woman who is invested? If you're window shopping about being a mom, own it. If you're invested, start acting like it and call yourself out when you shrink back.
A self-assessment exercise to evaluate your true commitment level to fertility success
Be honest with yourself
Ask yourself directly: Are you invested or are you merely interested? Knowing the truth is critical.
Own your current state
If you're more of a window shopper about being a mom, own it. Give yourself a break and honor that you're not in it with your whole heart yet.
Evaluate your actions
Look at your actual behaviors - are they the actions of a woman who is invested?
Call yourself out
When you start to shrink back and act like you're only interested, catch yourself and make the decision to act invested.
There's a fundamental difference between being interested in success versus being invested - and it determines who wins on the fertility journey
This concept comes from Philadelphia Eagles coach Doug Peterson who would ask his team 'Are you interested in winning or are you invested in it?' The women standing in Rosanne's winner's circle were invested, not messing around, and willing to be the last woman standing.
Being interested means you're a window shopper - always looking, never buying, waiting for things to go on sale instead of pulling the trigger
Someone who is interested considers the possibility of winning but hasn't made the decision to win. They spend more time on the sidelines wishing and hoping than getting real time on the field where the game is actually won.
Being invested is all about 'fuck yeah, I'm doing this' - burn the ships, there's no turning back mentality
Invested people are out on the playing field rain or shine, doing what it takes and making no excuses. They commit to finding a way, gravitate toward those who believe in them, and surround themselves with people and coaches that can help them get there.
This fertility journey sucks away our willingness to be fierce, maybe because it's intimate by nature or preys upon our sense of self worth
Allowing this to happen is self-sabotaging bullshit because the reality is the time to be invested is now. Women who are truly invested in being a mom cannot afford to hold back or live with the searing pain of regret.
Holding back on the fertility journey comes down to good old fashioned societal misogyny - good girls are supposed to be polite and consider other people's feelings
When a man wants something, he fucking goes and gets it and we applaud him as a go getter. It's 2019 - time to put on your big girl panties and rock your fertility journey by asking for and getting what you want.
The bullshit story that we don't want to ask for too much out of fear of being disappointed is a lame, boring strategy that's been disproven time and again
Disappointment is disappointment. When you are invested and take bold action, at least you can take pride in knowing you had the ovaries of steel to take the leap in the first place.
It's either hell yes or hell no - there is no room for hell maybe in the winner's circle
With the clock ticking, women need to be grabbing their journey by the shirt and shaking it. The women who succeed think, believe, and act like women who are invested and that's why they win.
There's a fundamental difference between being interested in success versus being invested - and it determines who wins on the fertility journey
▶ 0:52Being interested means you're a window shopper - always looking, never buying, waiting for things to go on sale instead of pulling the trigger
▶ 2:14Being invested is all about 'fuck yeah, I'm doing this' - burn the ships, there's no turning back mentality
▶ 3:05This fertility journey sucks away our willingness to be fierce, maybe because it's intimate by nature or preys upon our sense of self worth
▶ 8:29Holding back on the fertility journey comes down to good old fashioned societal misogyny - good girls are supposed to be polite and consider other people's feelings
▶ 10:41The bullshit story that we don't want to ask for too much out of fear of being disappointed is a lame, boring strategy that's been disproven time and again
▶ 12:02It's either hell yes or hell no - there is no room for hell maybe in the winner's circle
▶ 8:04“Being cautious and not asking for too much protects you from disappointment on your fertility journey”
CONSIDER: Disappointment is disappointment - when you're invested and take bold action, you can take pride in having the courage to take the leap
“Good girls should be polite, keep their mouth shut, and consider other people's feelings when pursuing motherhood”
CONSIDER: When a man wants something, he goes and gets it and we applaud him - it's time for women to put on their big girl panties and ask for what they want
“Interested. What does it mean to just be interested? In my world, that's being a lookie loo window shopper. Always looking, never buying, slow to the draw.”
“Invested is all about, fuck yeah. I'm doing this. Burn the ships. There's no turning back.”
“It's either hell yes or hell no, my loves. There is no room for hell maybe in the winner's circle.”
“When a man wants something, he fucking goes and gets it. We applaud him as a go getter. A man who gets the job done.”
“Woman, invest the money, make the call, send the email, get the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh opinion if you have to, hire the coach, set up the appointment, say hell yes.”
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Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
Your partner's economic fear doesn't have to become your fertility limitation - you can love someone deeply while refusing to join their fear-based mindset
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by maintaining her vision despite economic pressures, demonstrating that couples can have different perspectives on spending without derailing fertility success
Fear-based fertility decisions drain both your resilience and bank account faster than strategic investments in optimal care
Women who chase cheaper alternatives out of fear often find themselves a year later with the same results, when going 'ovaries to the wall' with the best care and coaching could have resulted in pregnancy or holding their baby
Successful women allow themselves to be the woman who beats the odds before it actually happens - they live their journey now in the way a woman who has beaten the odds would
Women traveling from the UK and across the US to attend Rosanne's Boise retreat exemplify this by investing in themselves, taking time off work, and prioritizing their fertility goals despite potential excuses about timing or money.
When a woman allows herself to be the woman that beats the odds, she empowers herself to transform her results through thinking differently, showing up differently, and creating new outcomes
This follows Newton's third law of motion - for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Women who booked flights and committed to the retreat had to be that woman when they said yes, which guaranteed they would actually get to Boise.
