Ellie shares her journey from three consecutive miscarriages to conceiving twins naturally. Through mindset work, she overcame deeply ingrained beliefs about womanhood and motherhood that were sabotaging her journey.
Ellie· natural· TwinsBefore
Identified as a victim of three miscarriages, believed cultural programming that ambitious women are bad mothers, lived in fear and self-blame
Key Shift
Rejected toxic cultural beliefs, embraced her fierce nature like a lioness, shifted identity from trauma victim to woman on a journey
After
Confident in her worthiness as a mother, able to manage pregnancy anxiety with tools, present and grateful
Ellie shares her painful journey through three consecutive miscarriages within one year, from the initial hope and devastation to feeling like an outlier even in support groups. Despite all medical tests showing normal results, the losses continued until she discovered the deeper work needed.
The breakthrough came when Ellie identified toxic cultural messages from her Greek upbringing that ambitious women are terrible mothers. She realized she had internalized beliefs that she wasn't a 'real woman' and therefore couldn't carry babies successfully.
Ellie's transformation involved studying lionesses and mama bears in nature, recognizing that fierce, ambitious females successfully reproduce. She adopted 'I am the lioness in the jungle' as her empowering identity, rejecting man-made rules about women's roles.
Rosanne challenged Ellie to stop introducing herself as someone who had three miscarriages and instead identify as a woman on a journey to meet her children. This identity shift preceded her natural conception of twins.
Using tools like the 'two yards' visualization and her mantra of being 'a good steward of the blessings,' Ellie successfully navigated pregnancy anxiety and carried her twins to 36 weeks. Even when complications arose, she had the tools to manage fear and stay present.
“Your positive pregnancy test is just the beginning. You have to bring the kind of mama bear energy that has you getting out of destination thinking and see all the way downrange to forty full weeks of healthy pregnancy.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:14
Address the deep cultural programming and beliefs that may be blocking your fertility. Ellie overcame three consecutive miscarriages by identifying toxic beliefs about ambitious women being bad mothers and embracing her fierce nature instead.
“All the tests said that nothing is wrong. So just keep trying, and it will work out eventually. But I felt really, really, really broken.”
— Ellie▶ 13:48
When medical tests show nothing wrong, the issue may be unconscious beliefs or cultural programming blocking fertility. Mindset work can address these hidden barriers that medical tests can't detect.
“You're wearing your miscarriages as an identity. So cut that out now. You're a woman on a journey to meet her children.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 34:37
Stop introducing yourself by your trauma and instead identify with your vision. Instead of 'I'm someone who had miscarriages,' say 'I'm a woman on a journey to meet her children.'
“I think that God universe source is very much aligned with my vision for my life. I think that these rules were made by men, not by divine intelligence.”
— Ellie▶ 31:41
Cultural programming that ambitious women are bad mothers can unconsciously sabotage fertility. Embracing your fierce nature (like lionesses who hunt and reproduce successfully) actually supports fertility.
“There are two yards, and one of them is gorgeously manicured with a pool. And there's another yard with weeds, beer cans. Where will you choose to hang out?”
— Ellie▶ 38:47
Use visualization tools like the 'two yards' technique — imagine choosing between a beautiful yard and an ugly one. Actively choose where to spend your mental energy each day.
“I am a good steward of the blessings. That was my mantra throughout the pregnancy. I try to convey that respect and awe without the fear part.”
— Ellie▶ 43:04
Make healthy choices from gratitude and respect for your blessing, not from fear of loss. Say 'I choose this because I'm a good steward of this blessing' instead of 'I'm afraid of losing the baby.'
A process for releasing identification with fertility trauma and embracing your vision instead
Identify your trauma introduction
Notice how you introduce yourself. Do you lead with your losses or challenges?
Craft your vision identity
Create a new introduction focused on where you're going: 'I'm a woman on a journey to meet her children'
Practice the shift daily
Consciously choose your vision identity in conversations and internal dialogue
Use your vision as your North Star
When making decisions, ask 'Does this align with my journey to meet my children?'
Getting a positive pregnancy test is just the beginning, not the end goal — you must think strategically about carrying to full term
Ellie had three positive pregnancy tests but lost each baby, demonstrating that conception alone isn't enough. She learned to prepare mentally for a full 40-week pregnancy.
Cultural programming about women's roles can create unconscious blocks to fertility success
Ellie discovered she had internalized messages from her Greek family that she would be a 'terrible mother' because she pursued ambitious career goals. Once she identified and rejected these beliefs, she conceived twins naturally.
Lionesses and mama bears in nature are fierce hunters who successfully reproduce — God didn't make ambitious women infertile
Ellie used nature as proof that fierce, ambitious females can be excellent mothers. She adopted 'I am the lioness in the jungle' as her mantra and conceived twins naturally shortly after.
Wearing your trauma as an identity keeps you stuck — identify with your vision instead
Rosanne called out Ellie for introducing herself as someone who had three miscarriages. After shifting to 'I'm a woman on a journey to meet her children,' Ellie conceived twins naturally.
The two yards visualization helps you choose where to spend your mental energy during pregnancy
Ellie used Rosanne's tool of imagining two yards — one beautiful with Jason Momoa, one ugly with weeds — to manage anxiety throughout her twin pregnancy. She actively chose the beautiful yard when fear arose.
Being a good steward of your blessings is more powerful than acting from fear of loss
Instead of saying 'I can't have caffeine because I'm afraid of losing the babies,' Ellie reframed it as 'I choose to be a good steward of this double blessing.' This mindset carried her through a successful twin pregnancy.
There's no finish line where you're safe and can stop doing the mindset work
Even at 36 weeks pregnant with twins, Ellie continued using program tools when a heart abnormality was detected in one twin (which turned out to be benign). The work continues throughout pregnancy and beyond.
Getting a positive pregnancy test is just the beginning, not the end goal — you must think strategically about carrying to full term
▶ 2:14Cultural programming about women's roles can create unconscious blocks to fertility success
▶ 24:32Lionesses and mama bears in nature are fierce hunters who successfully reproduce — God didn't make ambitious women infertile
▶ 30:29Wearing your trauma as an identity keeps you stuck — identify with your vision instead
▶ 34:37The two yards visualization helps you choose where to spend your mental energy during pregnancy
▶ 38:47Being a good steward of your blessings is more powerful than acting from fear of loss
▶ 43:04There's no finish line where you're safe and can stop doing the mindset work
▶ 44:38“Once you get a positive pregnancy test, all your problems go away”
CONSIDER: A positive pregnancy test is just the beginning — you must prepare mentally for 40 full weeks of healthy pregnancy
“Ambitious, career-driven women can't be good mothers”
CONSIDER: Lionesses hunt and mama bears are fierce — God made ambitious females to be excellent mothers
“Your trauma history defines who you are”
CONSIDER: You are a woman on a journey to meet your children, not someone defined by past losses
“Your positive pregnancy test is just the beginning. You have to bring the kind of mama bear energy that has you getting out of destination thinking and see all the way downrange to forty full weeks of healthy pregnancy.”
“I am the lioness in the jungle. If that lioness can be hunting antelopes and then she has five cubs, I can run up these subway stairs.”
“You're wearing your miscarriages as an identity. So cut that out now. You're a woman on a journey to meet her children.”
“I am a good steward of the blessings. I try to convey that respect and awe without the fear part.”
“I think that God universe source is very much aligned with my vision for my life. I think that these rules were made by men, not by divine intelligence.”
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Conditions
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
The old rules of fertility are rooted in a masculine paradigm of limitation that focuses on what can't be done rather than possibility
Rosanne has coached women for 12+ years across six continents, observing that traditional fertility approaches emphasize statistics, age limitations, and failure histories rather than individual potential and heart-based knowing.
The new rules of fertility respect the mind-body connection and reject the lie that stress has nothing to do with fertility
Over 364 previous podcast episodes feature stories of women who beat fertility odds through mindset work, including women who conceived naturally after years of treatment failure by believing bigger than medical limitations.
Secondary infertility creates unique isolation because you don't fit into either the 'can't conceive' club or the 'conceive easily' club, leading to shame and guilt about wanting more
Somaya experienced secondary infertility after her first son, enduring three ectopic pregnancies and multiple miscarriages while feeling guilty about not being grateful for her existing child.
Successful professionals often fail to apply their strategic thinking to fertility, instead relying on hope rather than creating a comprehensive plan with experts and resources
Somaya, a top legal recruiter in London, realized she would strategically involve experts for professional challenges but was just 'living on a prayer and hope' for her fertility journey.
