Kelly shares her journey from repeated IVF failure to becoming a mom at 45 through donor egg IVF. After years of treatment failure and nearly giving up, she transformed her mindset through the Fearlessly Fertile Method and embraced a path she once thought was 'out of a sci-fi movie.'
KellyAge 45· donor· Baby girlBefore
Shell of herself, consumed by fear and anxiety, losing weight, not eating right, in the worst place of her life, ready to give up
Key Shift
Established daily structure with meditation, journaling, and workouts while accepting her path and focusing on what she truly wanted
After
Empowered woman who built a house, advanced her career, and embraced donor egg IVF with excitement
Kelly and her husband were late bloomers who focused on careers throughout their thirties in competitive Washington DC. When they started trying for a family at 40, multiple IVF cycles yielded only one normal embryo and repeated failures, leaving Kelly in the darkest place of her life.
By 2019, Kelly was consumed by fear and anxiety, losing weight and spiraling emotionally. She and her husband nearly convinced themselves they didn't want children, even talking about traveling despite not enjoying it, before realizing this was fear talking and recommitting to their dream.
Kelly discovered the Fearlessly Fertile Method and established daily practices of meditation, journaling, and morning walks while listening to podcasts. This structure gave her tools to combat negative thoughts and strength to continue when facing the unknown.
Following Rosanne's teaching to keep living fully, Kelly and her husband built a new house and advanced their careers during treatment. Her husband built and sold a company while Kelly took on more responsibility, creating a beautiful life to welcome their future child.
After closing the door on IVF with her own eggs, Kelly moved from thinking donor eggs were 'sci-fi' to finding the process exciting and even fun. She got 9 embryos compared to only 1 with her own eggs, conceived on the first transfer at 45, and welcomed her 'dream' baby girl.
“We got nine embryos, which was we had never got numbers like that. So it was very successful. It was pretty painless. So then at that point, it was in our hands of what to, you know, do the transfer, which we did in August of twenty twenty one. And then we just had our baby girl in April.”
— Kelly▶ 16:36
Yes, donor egg IVF can be very successful at 45. Kelly conceived her daughter on the first transfer at 45 after years of IVF failure with her own eggs.
“I had done a lot of research on donor but while we were going through our last cycle of IVF because I I kinda had a feeling that's where we were going and I just wanted to know more about it. And the more I learned about it, the less scary it was.”
— Kelly▶ 27:24
Start by getting clear on what you truly want - the pregnancy experience, being a mother, or having a genetic connection. Research thoroughly to reduce fear of the unknown, and focus on your end goal rather than the method.
“They don't allow other people's hang ups, other people's nonsense, other people's judgments to stand in the way of the life that they are truly creating. They move past the fear, doubt, and negativity that keeps most people stuck because they choose their vision for their lives over their fear.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:54
First, get clear on what you truly want - pregnancy, parenthood, or genetic connection. Consider all options including donor eggs, and work on your mindset to avoid making fear-based decisions about giving up.
“Every day I'd get up and go for my walk and I'd listen to your podcast. And it would, like, give me the strength to, like, keep going because it's hard when you don't have when you just it's like the unknown.”
— Kelly▶ 13:21
Establish daily structure with morning practices like meditation and journaling. Keep living your best life and pursuing other goals instead of putting everything on hold for treatments.
“We literally sat there, and we're convincing ourselves why we shouldn't have a kid. Oh, we're too old. What if something happens and then, you know, the baby god forbid the baby wasn't healthy. It'll be, you know, devastating. All these things. We now, you know, if we we don't have kids, we can free ourselves up to do other stuff in life, travel. We don't even like to travel.”
— Kelly▶ 22:56
Yes, it's common to reach a breaking point where fear makes you talk yourself out of what you truly want. This is usually fear talking, not your authentic desires.
“So by December, we had a donor. It took us about two months. And then she cycled in February of twenty twenty one, February, March, I think. And it was a completely different experience because it was like I wasn't going through the IVF. I didn't have to go through all the pain, the physical pain.”
— Kelly▶ 15:15
The timeline varies, but Kelly's process took about 6 months from decision to transfer - 2 months to find a donor, then the donor cycled in February-March, followed by transfer in August.
Kelly's step-by-step process for moving from donor egg terror to excitement
Get clear on what you truly want
Ask yourself specifically what matters most - the pregnancy experience, being a mother, or genetic connection. Be honest about your priorities.
Research thoroughly
Learn everything you can about the process to reduce fear of the unknown. Kelly found that the more she researched donor eggs, the less scary it became.
Work with a service
Consider using a matching service that handles the searching for you based on your criteria, making the process less overwhelming.
Trust the process
When you find the right match, you'll know. Kelly said 'that's it' when she saw her donor's profile.
Celebrate each step
Embrace the different experience and celebrate the successes along the way, as Kelly did when she got 9 embryos compared to only 1 with her own eggs.
Getting clear on what you truly want is critical to making the right decisions on your fertility journey
Kelly realized she wanted the pregnancy experience specifically, which led her to choose donor egg IVF over adoption. This clarity helped her move from nearly giving up to having her baby girl at 45.
Fear can make you talk yourself out of what you truly want, even convincing yourself you want something completely different
Kelly and her husband convinced themselves they didn't want kids and could 'travel instead' when they were overwhelmed by IVF failure, even though they 'don't even like to travel.' They realized this was fear talking, not their true hearts.
You must keep living your best life while trying to conceive, not put everything on hold
Kelly and her husband built a new house and advanced their careers during treatment, with her husband building and selling a company. When their baby arrived, they had created a beautiful life to welcome her into.
Accepting where you are on your journey, without looking backward with regret, is essential for moving forward
Kelly accepted that she chose to start her family journey later in life and didn't regret it, saying 'I always saw myself as an older mom.' This acceptance allowed her to embrace donor egg IVF.
Daily structure with morning practices creates the foundation to combat negative thoughts and keep moving forward
Kelly established a routine of getting up at the same time daily, working out, journaling, and meditating for almost a year. She'd listen to Fearlessly Fertile podcasts during walks to maintain strength when facing the unknown.
Donor egg conception can become an exciting, even fun experience once you move past initial fears and judgments
Kelly went from thinking donor eggs were 'something out of a sci-fi movie' to finding the process 'almost fun' and celebrating each successful milestone. She got 9 embryos compared to only 1 from her own eggs.
You have to choose your vision for your life over your fear, which causes you to make a different quality of decision
Kelly chose her baby over her fear of donor eggs, moving from thinking it was impossible to having her 'dream' baby girl at 45. She describes her daughter as 'like an angel' and 'delicious.'
When you're dead inside from fertility struggles, it's really hard to call in a life
Kelly describes being 'a shell of herself' and knowing she 'couldn't be a mother like this.' After mindset work, she became the vibrant woman who welcomed her baby daughter.
Getting clear on what you truly want is critical to making the right decisions on your fertility journey
▶ 18:18Fear can make you talk yourself out of what you truly want, even convincing yourself you want something completely different
▶ 22:56You must keep living your best life while trying to conceive, not put everything on hold
▶ 14:01Accepting where you are on your journey, without looking backward with regret, is essential for moving forward
▶ 26:12Daily structure with morning practices creates the foundation to combat negative thoughts and keep moving forward
▶ 12:30Donor egg conception can become an exciting, even fun experience once you move past initial fears and judgments
▶ 28:35You have to choose your vision for your life over your fear, which causes you to make a different quality of decision
▶ 3:05When you're dead inside from fertility struggles, it's really hard to call in a life
▶ 38:42“Donor eggs are a last resort option that's unnatural and sci-fi like”
CONSIDER: Donor egg conception can be a magical, exciting path that's actually easier and more successful than traditional IVF
“You should put your life on hold while trying to conceive and focus only on fertility treatments”
CONSIDER: You must keep building your best life while trying to conceive so you have something beautiful to welcome your baby into
“If you're dead inside, it's really hard to call in a life.”
“They choose their babies over their fear, and that causes them to make a different quality of decision.”
“I knew I had to get off get off that kind of conveyor belt for a little while and kind of figure out what we wanted to do.”
“What do you really want? I really wanted to be pregnant. That was, like, an experience I didn't wanna give up on.”
“It was a completely different experience because it was like I wasn't going through the IVF. I didn't have to go through all the pain, the physical pain. And then it was to actually get good news at each step.”
“Keep living your best life while you're on this journey. You know, don't say no to the thing, because that's what will get you through.”
EP228 From “Clueless” To Miracle Mama With ONE Embryo: Robyn’s Story
How Robin turned one lone donor embryo into her miracle baby at 44 by transforming guilt into empowerment.
250th Episode Celebration!
What happens after you bring your miracle baby home? Past Miracle Mamas reveal how the fearlessly fertile mindset continues transforming their lives years later.
EP213 IVF Didn’t Work Till She Did This: Marina’s Story
After 9 IVF cycles and 15 embryo transfers across multiple countries, Marina discovered the one thing that finally made the difference.
You only need one embryo when it's the right one - numbers don't determine your success
Robin had only one embryo from donor eggs after eight eggs were thawed, three fertilized, and only one became viable. That single embryo resulted in her pregnancy at 44.
Accepting donor eggs doesn't mean the baby isn't yours - you're the one carrying and raising the child
Robin initially resisted donor eggs saying 'not me' but shifted to understanding that even though the egg didn't come from her, the baby still came from her through pregnancy and she would be raising it.
The pain and struggle of your fertility journey disappears once you have your baby in your arms - nothing else matters
Trish, who struggled for years before conceiving her daughter Geordie and is now pregnant again, shares that the relief and magnitude of love outweighs all the grief, sadness and disappointment from the journey.
You are the absolute boss and decision maker of your fertility journey - not the doctors
Diana applied this mindset shift to conceive her son and now has two daughters, ages 2 and 2 months. She uses these same techniques for career decisions and all life choices.
