Rosanne addresses the common concern that partners aren't as invested in the fertility journey as women are. She provides two key questions to get to the truth and challenges women to 'do you' regardless of their partner's level of commitment.
Rosanne challenges women to distinguish between feelings and facts when assessing their partner's commitment level. She emphasizes that fertility journey stress can create warped perceptions that may not reflect reality. The first step is having the courage to face real facts rather than fiction created by emotional overwhelm.
Partners may express commitment differently than women expect, with caveats like 'I'm all in, but...' or timeline concerns. Rosanne teaches that men and women experience fertility journeys differently due to physical and emotional realities. The key is asking why in a non-confrontational way to understand their perspective rather than assuming lack of support.
The ultimate teaching is 'do you' - taking full responsibility for your fertility dreams regardless of others' enthusiasm levels. Rosanne emphasizes that if being a mom is truly your calling, you cannot allow someone else's fear or negativity to rob you of this life experience. This isn't about ending relationships but about owning your path forward.
“You cannot allow somebody else's position, their fear, their negativity, their doubt, their lack, their scarcity to rob you of something so precious as this life experience of being a mom.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 8:56
First, ask yourself if it's actually true that they're not all in, as fertility stress can create warped perceptions. Second, ask them directly why they seem less committed to understand their perspective. Finally, be willing to 'do you' - take responsibility for your own dreams regardless of their level of enthusiasm.
“Is it true that they are not all in? Because I know that you may feel that way, those feelings are valid, but the reality is is that we can have a really warped sense of what's going on in our journey if we're not careful.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 4:48
Ask yourself honestly: 'Is it true that they are not all in?' Have the courage to face real facts rather than fiction created by fertility journey stress. Your feelings are valid, but you need to work with actual facts, not warped perceptions.
“You cannot expect your partner to feel exactly the same way you do. So if you find out that they don't, just ask them why.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 6:53
No, you cannot expect your partner to feel exactly the same way you do. As a woman, you experience the physical reality of carrying babies and medical procedures differently. Your partner is their own person with their own experience, and their version of being 'all in' may look very different from yours.
“But if you ask, okay, well, it sounds like you're not all in. Can you tell me a little bit about why? Right? And if you do that in a really non confrontational totally open way, you may be surprised at the answer you get.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 7:24
Ask two key questions: First, 'Is it true that they are not all in?' to verify your perception. Second, 'What's their reason for not being all in?' Ask this in a non-confrontational, open way to understand their perspective rather than attacking them.
“Do you. Because if you find out that number one, it's true that your partner is not all in... you've gotta ask yourself, hey, what am I gonna do now?”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 8:04
'Do you' means taking responsibility for your own dreams and not allowing someone else's fear, negativity, or lack to rob you of the life experience of being a mom. It means being willing to pursue your calling even if your partner isn't as enthusiastic as you are.
A three-step framework for determining if your partner is truly uncommitted and what to do about it
Verify the Truth
Ask yourself honestly: 'Is it true that they are not all in?' Face real facts rather than fiction created by fertility journey stress. Have the courage to distinguish between your feelings and actual reality.
Understand Their Why
Ask your partner directly but non-confrontationally: 'What's your reason for not being all in?' Listen for their version of commitment, which may include caveats like 'I am all in, but...' or 'I am all in until...' Remember their expression may be different from yours.
Do You
Take responsibility for your own dreams. If being a mom is truly your calling, don't allow someone else's fear, negativity, or doubt to rob you of this life experience. Be willing to pursue your dreams regardless of their level of enthusiasm.
Women often create fiction about their partner's commitment level due to fertility journey stress, making it crucial to distinguish between feelings and facts
Rosanne notes as a former prosecutor and fertility coach with 12+ years of experience helping women across six continents, she sees patterns where stress creates warped perceptions that can destroy relationships and block solutions.
You cannot expect your partner to feel exactly the same drive to have a baby because they are their own person with their own experience
Rosanne emphasizes that as a woman who conceived naturally at 43 despite years of treatment failure, she understands that men and women experience fertility journeys differently - women carry babies and endure most medical procedures.
If being a mom is truly your calling, you cannot allow someone else's position, fear, or negativity to rob you of this life experience
Rosanne teaches from her experience as a fertility mindset master who helps women beat the odds globally, emphasizing that women must take responsibility for their dreams just as they would for their profession.
Your partner may be all in on their terms, which doesn't necessarily mean they're not committed to your happiness and willing to go whatever lengths you want to go
Rosanne's experience coaching women for 12+ years shows that partners often express commitment differently - they may not want to talk about it as much or wear emotions the same way but are still supportive.
As a woman who is 100% responsible for the outcomes in her life, you must be willing to present these questions to your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt
Rosanne's methodology has helped women around the world make their mom dreams come true, with results documented on her Instagram highlights, showing the power of taking responsibility.
Women often create fiction about their partner's commitment level due to fertility journey stress, making it crucial to distinguish between feelings and facts
▶ 2:48You cannot expect your partner to feel exactly the same drive to have a baby because they are their own person with their own experience
▶ 6:01If being a mom is truly your calling, you cannot allow someone else's position, fear, or negativity to rob you of this life experience
▶ 8:56Your partner may be all in on their terms, which doesn't necessarily mean they're not committed to your happiness and willing to go whatever lengths you want to go
▶ 9:59As a woman who is 100% responsible for the outcomes in her life, you must be willing to present these questions to your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt
▶ 13:15“If your partner isn't as excited about having a baby as you are, they don't support you”
CONSIDER: Your partner's version of being 'all in' may look very different from yours, and different expression doesn't mean lack of commitment
“You should give up on your dream if your partner isn't fully supportive”
CONSIDER: You cannot allow someone else's baggage to stop you from knowing what you must do in this life - ultimately you must 'do you'
“You cannot allow somebody else's position, their fear, their negativity, their doubt, their lack, their scarcity to rob you of something so precious as this life experience of being a mom.”
“You cannot expect your partner to feel exactly the same way you do.”
“Do you.”
“We live with what we choose.”
“As a woman who is a hundred percent responsible for the outcomes in her life, which you are, like it or not, you've gotta at least be willing to present these questions to your partner.”
EP117 The Power of ALL IN
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Most people's 'all in' commitment is actually conditional - they're all in only if it's comfortable, quick, doesn't cost too much, isn't scary, or comes in the exact way they expected
Rosanne notes that every woman who has appeared on the podcast sharing success stories was 'all fucking in' despite being scared, and they burned the ships behind them to achieve healthy pregnancies.
When you're all in, you are literally securing your success without condition - your conditions will show you why you will quit
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of fertility treatment failure when she and her husband were 'all fucking in' despite hundreds of thousands of dollars invested with nothing to show for it and constant failure.
The energy behind your fertility actions matters more than the actions themselves - you can do all the right things but with fear-based energy that repels your baby
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by shifting her energy, noting she was more fertile in her 40s naturally with the right mindset than in her 30s with treatments.
Two people can approach IVF with completely different energy - one with excitement and opportunity, another with resentment and financial stress - creating vastly different results
Rosanne explains women with worse numbers, older age, and terrible diagnoses get pregnant naturally when their energy matches excitement and anticipation, while those in fear create fear-based results.
