Rosanne tackles the inevitable reality of facing haters when you're committed to your fertility dreams. She reveals why haters actually signal you're on the right track, exposes the psychology behind why people hate on success, and provides practical strategies for protecting your peace while staying true to your path.
Rosanne opens with her personal experience receiving hate for her direct approach to fertility mindset work. She reveals that criticism actually signals you're on the right track, doing something unusual that takes courage. Most people quit when things get difficult, but if you're facing resistance, you're likely breaking new ground that others don't understand or aren't brave enough to attempt themselves.
The uncomfortable truth about critics is that you serve as a mirror, reflecting back their own abandoned dreams and cowardice. Rosanne uses the analogy of crabs in a pot - when one tries to escape, the others pull it back down. This explains why fertility forums often become wastelands of bitterness where failed attempts lead to discouraging others' hope and success.
Haters operate from victimhood rather than empowerment, focusing on problems instead of solutions. They haven't done the actual mindset work but criticize those who do. Behind every critic lies monumental self-loathing - what they do to you barely scratches the surface of what they do to themselves. Understanding this psychology helps you respond with boundaries rather than defensiveness.
Rosanne provides concrete steps for dealing with critics: identify whether they're well-intentioned people needing boundaries or online trolls to block immediately. Don't waste time trying to educate or please people who aren't open to you. Instead, focus on living your truth and following your calling with a clear conscience, letting the drone of haters fade into background noise.
“If you have people hating on you, it means you are on the right track. It means you are probably doing something unusual.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 4:37
Celebrate the criticism - it means you're doing something different and brave. Haters are mirrors reflecting their own abandoned dreams, not truth about your path.
“More often than not, they were bleak wasteland deserts of bitterness and unqualified know it alls pontificating about how if something didn't work out for them, probably wouldn't work out for anyone else.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 7:43
Fertility forums often become 'bleak wasteland deserts of bitterness' where people project their failures onto others. It's like crabs in a pot pulling the escaping crab back down.
“Don't even participate with or try to engage in the fool's errand of educating them or trying to explain yourself. Because if they were open to you, they wouldn't be hating on you.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 14:38
No - don't engage in the fool's errand of educating or explaining yourself to haters. If they were open to you, they wouldn't be hating on you.
“Behind every hater is a monumental level of self loathing that is hard to even comprehend.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 14:07
Haters have 'monumental self-loathing' and are mirrors reflecting dreams they gave up on. Your success reminds them of their own cowardice and abandoned goals.
“Block them online. Block them, baby. Block them. Because they haven't earned the right to chime in on your life, your work, or your decisions.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 17:00
Block online trolls who haven't earned the right to comment on your life. Set boundaries with people you know. Focus on your truth rather than trying to please impossible standards.
A practical exercise for identifying and handling criticism while protecting your peace
Identify the haters
Make a list of who the critics are in your life with compassion - distinguish between well-intentioned people who need boundaries versus vicious trolls you've never met
Decide what to do
For people in your life who may not recognize what they're doing, let them know what time it is with you. For strangers online, block them immediately since they haven't earned the right to comment
Back out if needed
Consider leaving groups that don't raise you up and don't look back
Share the message
Text this episode to anyone who could benefit from learning about dealing with haters
If you have people hating on you, it means you are on the right track and doing something unusual that others don't understand
Rosanne's book 'Am I the Reason I'm Not Getting Pregnant?' went to number one on Amazon in the US and Canada with a forward by NY Times bestselling author Bernie Siegel, MD, yet still receives weekly hate from people who won't look past the title.
Haters are mirrors reflecting what they gave up on in their own lives - your fire reminds them of dreams they chickened out on
Rosanne observes that fertility message boards and online groups are often 'bleak wasteland deserts of bitterness' where people who failed insist others will fail too, like crabs in a pot pulling the escaping crab back down.
Haters are more focused on victimhood than empowerment and will give you all the reasons why mindset work doesn't work, but they didn't actually do the work
Rosanne notes that anyone who actually does mindset work and shifts their mindset isn't looking for anyone to blame and doesn't see themselves as victims, while haters rarely contribute anything positive to conversations.
None of the hate has anything to do with you - it's about the hater's own self-loathing and what they're doing to themselves
Rosanne explains that behind every hater is 'a monumental level of self loathing' and they are 'eating themselves alive' - what they do to you 'barely scratches the surface of what they are doing to themselves.'
Trying to please haters is a waste of your life because they will move the ball every time you try - they have an ever-changing litmus test
Rosanne observes that haters are only fueled by attempts to please them and have 'an equal hating opportunity for anyone that disrupts the flow of their comfortable mediocrity.'
Quitters are a dime a dozen with a parade of reasonable excuses - most people flee at the first sign of trouble or when they think they've failed too much
Rosanne notes we have 'a microwave culture that if we're not seeing results immediately, it must be because the thing's fucked up' and very few people in anyone's direct circle have actually followed their heart when it comes to dreams.
If you have people hating on you, it means you are on the right track and doing something unusual that others don't understand
▶ 4:37Haters are mirrors reflecting what they gave up on in their own lives - your fire reminds them of dreams they chickened out on
▶ 6:32Haters are more focused on victimhood than empowerment and will give you all the reasons why mindset work doesn't work, but they didn't actually do the work
▶ 10:47None of the hate has anything to do with you - it's about the hater's own self-loathing and what they're doing to themselves
▶ 13:05Trying to please haters is a waste of your life because they will move the ball every time you try - they have an ever-changing litmus test
▶ 13:35Quitters are a dime a dozen with a parade of reasonable excuses - most people flee at the first sign of trouble or when they think they've failed too much
▶ 5:29“Getting criticism means you're doing something wrong”
CONSIDER: If you have haters, celebrate it - it means you're on the right track doing something unusual
“Haters are trying to protect you from getting hurt”
CONSIDER: Haters are mirrors reflecting their own abandoned dreams and cowardice
“If you have people hating on you, it means you are on the right track.”
“You are a mirror. Your fire reminds them of what they gave up on.”
“Behind every hater is a monumental level of self loathing that is hard to even comprehend.”
“Trying to please everyone is an absolute waste of your life.”
“You wanna be the rebel crab. You wanna be the one that says, fuck that.”
“Live, mama, live. Fuck the haters.”
EP140 Smart Mama Move: STOP Being So F-ing “Nice”
What if being 'nice' is actually sabotaging your fertility journey and keeping you stuck in patterns that block your baby?
EP133 Lack & Scarcity: Claim It
Your excuses are revealing exactly what you think you deserve - and it's sabotaging your fertility journey.
EP129 Truth: The Fertility Fear Slayer
Ready to slay your fertility fears once and for all? The answer lies in truths you might not want to face.
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
Being overly 'nice' on your fertility journey is a form of self-sabotage that blocks success
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by learning to prioritize herself strategically instead of pleasing everyone else
The disease of appeasement stems from childhood survival patterns where we learned we had to please to be loved
By age eight, most basic ideas about survival are formed - if parents were upset, children feared abandonment and learned pleasing behaviors that persist into adulthood
Lack and scarcity is the belief that there's a finite amount of something with the presupposition that there isn't enough for you specifically
This belief system includes victimhood and the idea that there's nothing you can do about it, making you accept misery and be jealous of others who have what you want.
Your excuses are your decoder ring for self-sabotage and reveal what you really think you deserve
Whether it's 'I can't afford it' or 'I don't have time,' these excuses show your lack and scarcity stories and demonstrate what you believe you're worthy of receiving.
