Rosanne reveals the #1 way women waste time and energy on their fertility journey: worrying about other people's opinions instead of focusing on their own mindset. She explains why lasting change comes from within and provides a three-step exercise to redirect energy toward your own vision and success.
Rosanne reflects on her pregnancy three years prior and identifies the number one waste of time and energy on fertility journeys: worrying about others' opinions instead of focusing on what you can control. She explains how this external focus kept her from her own growth and responsibility.
Drawing from personal experience, Rosanne describes how fertility message boards and social media can become black holes of negativity and complaining. While the underlying feelings are valid, these spaces often increase helplessness rather than providing real solutions.
Rosanne teaches how our brains are wired to find evidence for whatever lens we use to view our journey. When we operate from scarcity and lack, our minds build cases for failure, expense, and jealousy that aren't actually true but feel very real.
Contrasting the rookie mistake of living from outside-in versus inside-out, Rosanne emphasizes that lasting transformation comes from internal work. She shares how focusing on her own thoughts and beliefs rather than others' opinions was key to her success.
Rosanne provides practical steps for breaking free from others' opinions: honestly assessing where your energy goes, creating a compelling personal vision, and training yourself to return to that vision when external voices try to derail you.
“In my opinion, it is the number one cause of, quote, unquote, wasted time and energy on this journey. We expend so much energy on shit we can't control and pay very little attention to that which we can.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:24
The biggest waste is worrying about other people's opinions and trying to convince others you're right, instead of focusing on yourself - the only piece of the puzzle you can actually control.
“I'd get on fertility message boards and social media for hours. I'd be sucked in by all of the bitching and complaining... but the payoff for swirling in that unmoderated mess was just more negativity and helplessness.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:34
They focus on complaining and what's unfair outside of you, creating more negativity and helplessness without offering real solutions. The payoff is just more swirling in unmoderated negativity.
“We are wired for confirmation bias. So if you see this journey through a lens of lack and scarcity, that is all you will see. Your brain will provide you with all of the evidence you need to confirm lack and scarcity.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 7:00
Your brain is wired for confirmation bias, so if you see the journey through lack and scarcity, your brain provides evidence to confirm that view - making you believe everything is expensive, you won't succeed, and other pregnancies steal your baby.
“It's the rookie mistake of living from the outside in as opposed to living from the inside out. And trust me, I did that shit for years, and it was so gross.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 6:40
Living outside in means trying to fix and convince everyone else instead of focusing on your own internal transformation. Living inside out means focusing on what you think, believe, and where you're headed first.
“Get so good at holding the image you have for yourself and for your baby and for your journey. Get so good at holding that image that what you create in your mind is way more enticing than anything anyone outside of you has to say.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 11:37
Create a clear image of what you want for yourself and train yourself to go to that vision when you catch yourself caring about others' opinions. Guard that vision with a crowbar and make it more enticing than anyone else's fears or programming.
A three-step exercise to redirect your energy from external validation to internal empowerment on your fertility journey
Assess Your Current Energy Distribution
Be honest about exactly how much time and energy you give to what other people say or think about you and your fertility journey. Notice if outside influences derail you and how much of a role others' opinions play in your decisions.
Create and Practice Your Vision
Train yourself to go to the image of what you desire when you catch yourself caring more about others' opinions than your own thoughts. Create a detailed mental image of what you want for yourself and luxuriate in that vision.
Guard Your Vision Fiercely
Get so good at holding your personal image that what you create in your mind is more enticing than anything anyone else has to say. When you feel pulled toward others' fears, return to your vision instead.
The number one cause of wasted time and energy on the fertility journey is worrying about other people's opinions instead of focusing on what you can control - yourself
Rosanne Austin conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by developing the mindset of a woman who succeeds and taking action from that place, rather than listening to naysayers and 'long face lab coats'
The real battle is within - nothing anyone outside of you says can be worse than what you are saying to yourself at 3 AM staring at the ceiling
Rosanne emphasizes this realization was key to her success, as she stopped subordinating her truth to medical professionals and others who said she couldn't succeed naturally at 43
Your brain is wired for confirmation bias - if you see this journey through a lens of lack and scarcity, your brain will provide evidence to confirm that perspective
Rosanne explains how this creates a cycle where women believe other pregnancies steal their babies and fuel jealousy, which she overcame to conceive naturally at 43
Spending time on fertility message boards and social media focused on complaining creates more negativity and helplessness without real solutions
Rosanne shares her personal experience of getting sucked into hours of online forums filled with bitching about others not understanding, which distracted from her own responsibility and growth
Living from the outside in versus inside out is a rookie mistake that keeps you trapped in trying to fix and convince everyone else
Rosanne admits she made this mistake for years before her revelation that led to natural conception at 43 - focusing on internal change rather than external validation
Success on this journey begins and ends with you alone - not statistics, physicians, or anyone else's opinions
Rosanne emphasizes this principle enabled her natural conception at 43 despite years of treatment failure and medical professionals suggesting it wasn't possible
The number one cause of wasted time and energy on the fertility journey is worrying about other people's opinions instead of focusing on what you can control - yourself
▶ 2:24The real battle is within - nothing anyone outside of you says can be worse than what you are saying to yourself at 3 AM staring at the ceiling
▶ 5:49Your brain is wired for confirmation bias - if you see this journey through a lens of lack and scarcity, your brain will provide evidence to confirm that perspective
▶ 7:00Spending time on fertility message boards and social media focused on complaining creates more negativity and helplessness without real solutions
▶ 3:34Living from the outside in versus inside out is a rookie mistake that keeps you trapped in trying to fix and convince everyone else
▶ 6:40Success on this journey begins and ends with you alone - not statistics, physicians, or anyone else's opinions
▶ 7:52“Focus energy on educating others and fighting for external understanding and sensitivity about fertility struggles”
CONSIDER: The real work is internal - addressing what's going on within you rather than trying to fix what everyone else says or does
“Other people's harsh words and insensitive comments are the biggest threat to your fertility journey”
CONSIDER: What you say to yourself in your own mind is far more damaging than anything anyone else could say to you
“Seek validation and approval from medical professionals and others before moving forward”
CONSIDER: Stop using other people's opinions as your compass - you were born with an inner compass that you need to use
“You are the only piece of this puzzle that you can control, doll. You.”
“The real battle is within. Nothing anyone outside of you says to you about you can be worse than what you are saying to yourself right now.”
“Stop using other people's opinions as your fucking compass. You have one that you were born with. Gus gave you an inner compass, my love. Fucking use it.”
“Not a goddamn statistic is gonna matter if you are a hundred percent sold on your own failure.”
“Quit living someone else's image for you. Fuck that. It's tainted with all of their fears, their programming, and their bias.”
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Conditions
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
The desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was fucking meant for you - this desire is your divine assignment
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by following this principle. Recent podcast guests Elise and Mikayla both held babies after choosing belief over their circumstances.
Belief always precedes the miracle - you must believe even in the darkest moments, not just when things feel good
All of the recent podcast success stories featured women who believed bigger than their current circumstances. A fertility expert interviewed confirmed that most fertility challenges are figureoutable.
The excuse 'I can't afford it' is really saying 'I'm not worth it' and will guarantee fertility failure
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by breaking through scarcity mindset and investing in what mattered most to her dream of motherhood.
Lack and scarcity is one of the most throat-stomping belief systems that will crush and torpedo your fertility dreams like nothing else
After 12+ years coaching women across six continents, Rosanne has observed that women trapped in scarcity thinking consistently give up on their dreams instead of becoming outliers who figure it out.
