Nicole

Male fertility diagnoses require processing time and emotional support, not just medical intervention

Matt needed a full day to process his male factor diagnosis and found talking to coworkers provided no support since 'everybody I know went out, slept together one time, had a baby' - he had to find a different way to cope.

Accepting responsibility for fertility challenges, rather than dwelling on blame, opens up solutions

Matt went through memories trying to find what caused his diagnosis, but realized 'there's nothing I could do about the past. It's what do we do moving forward? That's what changed my mentality about it.'

Finding the right fertility doctor requires being willing to get multiple opinions and trust your instincts

Matt and Nicole saw four different doctors after three failed IVFs. The fourth doctor asked 'how do you guys know so much about this process?' and was 'more concerned about us than the whole process' - leading to their successful pregnancy.

Proper IVF technique with ultrasound guidance can make the difference between failure and success

Matt's first three IVF attempts used outdated methods with 'a tape measure' and no ultrasound. The successful fourth attempt used ultrasound-guided transfer where Matt filmed seeing 'this little white speck' - the embryo going in properly.

Male pride and humility around fertility diagnoses requires conscious work to overcome

Matt identified 'the pride, the pride and humility part of it, where there can never be anything wrong with me accepting that. That was the hard part' and overcame it through distraction and physical work on house projects.

Physical distraction and project work can help process difficult fertility emotions and build resilience

Matt worked on house remodeling after 10-hour shifts, saying 'I was able to forget about everything' and realized 'you're not as good as you are, but you just keep trying' - building confidence that 'I can do this.'

Fertility journeys require both partners to become their own medical advocates rather than blindly trusting authority

Matt had unnecessary surgery where one doctor said 'You're gonna have plenty of babies' but the fertility specialist said 'that was a waste of time. Why did you even go there and do that?' This taught them to question medical authority.

When a woman transforms her mindset, it creates a positive ripple effect that influences her partner

Matt saw Nicole wake up early for coaching calls despite never getting out of bed before 7 AM, start setting boundaries with family, and gain confidence with doctors. 'I saw the change in that and it's like, Woah. Man, made you think.'