TTC and your partner aren't doing their part?!?
Rosanne Austin guides women through three powerful questions to determine if their partner is truly not 'all in' on their fertility journey and teaches how to take responsibility for their own dreams.
Teachings 3
If your calling to be a mother is so strong that you'd regret not pursuing it at 130 years old, you must be willing to 'do you' and not let someone else's fear or doubt rob you of this life experience
Austin compares it to not giving up being a physician or lawyer just because your partner doesn't support your profession
Asking 'why' from a positive, non-confrontational place can reveal surprising insights about your partner's perspective and prevent relationship damage
Austin specifically warns against asking 'Why aren't you all in?' in an accusatory tone, noting this approach is only suitable if you're committed to breakup or divorce
You are 100% responsible for the outcomes in your life and must be willing to take responsibility for your dreams, even if your partner's support looks different than expected
Austin emphasizes this as fundamental truth for women, stating 'like it or not' you must present these questions to your partner and give them the benefit of the doubt
Perspectives 3
Before assuming your partner isn't committed to your fertility journey, you must first determine if it's actually true by examining facts versus fiction created by fertility stress
Austin notes that fertility journey stress comes from multiple directions making it easy to slip into fiction rather than working with actual facts
You cannot expect your partner to feel exactly the same drive you do as a woman wanting a baby - their version of being 'all in' may be very different from yours
Austin explains that as a woman, you carry the baby and experience the medical procedures, creating a different emotional experience than your male partner or female partner who has their own circumstances
Don't fall into all-or-nothing thinking - your partner not being as 'all in' as you doesn't mean they aren't committed to your happiness and willing to support your journey
Austin explains they may just express support differently, not wear it the same way, or not want to talk about it as much, but can still be committed to going whatever lengths you want to go
Quotable Moments 3
“You cannot allow somebody else's position, their fear, their negativity, their doubt, their lack, their scarcity to rob you of something so precious as this life experience of being a mom.”
— Rosanne Austin“You cannot expect your partner to feel exactly the same way you do.”
— Rosanne Austin“Do you. Because at the end of the day, baby, we live with what we choose.”
— Rosanne Austin
Questions This Video Answers
What should I do if my partner doesn't seem all in on our fertility journey?
“Is it true that they are not all in? Because I know that you may feel that way, those feelings are valid, But the reality is is that we can have a really warped sense of what's going on on our journey if we're not careful.”
— Rosanne Austin
First, determine if it's actually true that they're not all in by examining facts versus your stressed emotions. Then ask them why from a positive, non-confrontational place to understand their perspective. Finally, be willing to take responsibility for your own dreams while allowing them to be supportive in their own way.
How do I ask my partner about their commitment to our fertility journey?
“if you ask, okay. Well, it sounds like you're not all in. Can you tell me a little bit about why? Right? And if you do that in a really nonconfrontational totally open way, you may be surprised at the answer you get.”
— Rosanne Austin
Ask in a non-confrontational, totally open way by saying something like 'It sounds like you're not all in. Can you tell me a little bit about why?' Avoid accusatory tones like 'Why aren't you all in?' which Austin warns will damage your relationship.
Should I continue trying to conceive if my partner isn't as committed as I am?
“You cannot allow somebody else's position, their fear, their negativity, their doubt, their lack, their scarcity to rob you of something so precious as this life experience of being a mom.”
— Rosanne Austin
If being a mother is truly your calling and something you'd regret not pursuing, you must be willing to 'do you' and not let someone else's position rob you of this life experience. Your partner may still be supportive even if they don't express the same level of intensity you do.
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Key Points 6
Before assuming your partner isn't committed to your fertility journey, you must first determine if it's actually true by examining facts versus fiction created by fertility stress
You cannot expect your partner to feel exactly the same drive you do as a woman wanting a baby - their version of being 'all in' may be very different from yours
If your calling to be a mother is so strong that you'd regret not pursuing it at 130 years old, you must be willing to 'do you' and not let someone else's fear or doubt rob you of this life experience
Asking 'why' from a positive, non-confrontational place can reveal surprising insights about your partner's perspective and prevent relationship damage
You are 100% responsible for the outcomes in your life and must be willing to take responsibility for your dreams, even if your partner's support looks different than expected
Don't fall into all-or-nothing thinking - your partner not being as 'all in' as you doesn't mean they aren't committed to your happiness and willing to support your journey
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