Rosanne teaches listeners how to identify and stop self-sabotage patterns that derail fertility success. She provides specific examples of subtle sabotaging behaviors and offers a practical 3-step exercise to spot and stop self-sabotage.
Rosanne opens by establishing that everyone engages in self-sabotage, even the most successful people like Steve Jobs and Oprah, which is why they hire coaches. She emphasizes that recognizing self-sabotage patterns is crucial for fertility success and that her Fearlessly Fertile Method helps women develop these awareness skills.
She provides specific examples of subtle sabotaging behaviors including going to bed too late, saying no when you mean yes, blaming others, fear-based thinking, making cost excuses, and claiming your partner won't allow certain actions. Each pattern prevents women from taking responsibility and positive action toward their fertility goals.
Rosanne teaches a practical exercise to combat self-sabotage: examine your day to spot sabotaging behaviors, decide whether to take action or stay stuck, and follow through with bold positive action. She emphasizes that awareness without action only empowers the saboteurs to continue controlling your life and fertility journey.
“Self sabotage can come in many flavors. Going to bed too late. You know you need rest? Strong mindset requires energy. But instead of getting your forty winks, you spend an extra half an hour torturing yourself with your illicit lover, doctor Google”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 4:39
Common self-sabotage includes going to bed too late (which affects mindset energy), saying no when you mean yes to stay in comfort zones, blaming others for circumstances, letting fear and scarcity thinking run decisions, making excuses like 'too expensive,' and telling yourself you're already doing everything when you're avoiding what scares you most.
“When you spot the sabotage, you end its stronghold with bold, positive action”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 13:34
To stop self-sabotage: First, examine your day to identify exactly how you sabotaged yourself - remember this is about awareness, not self-punishment. Second, decide what you'll do about it - any momentum forward is a win. Third, take action because awareness without action is what saboteurs live for.
“Steve Jobs had a coach. Oprah has coaches. Anyone with any aspiration for success has a fucking coach. Why? Because they aren't willing to roll the dice with their dreams”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:16
Even top performers like Steve Jobs and Oprah have coaches because they understand they can be their own worst enemy. Success in professional life requires different skills than fertility success. A coach serves as insurance against self-sabotage and helps develop the specific mindset skills needed for fertility challenges.
“As an adult fucking woman with a brain, no one lets you do shit. It is twenty twenty. Your partner is your partner, not your parent”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 7:01
Yes, absolutely. Saying 'my partner won't let me' is one of the saddest, most embarrassing ways women sabotage themselves. As an adult woman, no one 'lets' you do anything - your partner is your partner, not your parent. This excuse prevents you from taking responsibility and action.
“Awareness without action is what your saboteurs live for. That negative voice in your head loves it when you are aware that you need to make a change, but don't do shit”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 13:04
Awareness without action is exactly what your saboteurs want. When you become aware you need to make changes but don't take action, it allows the negative voices to continue running your life while you go back to sleep. This perpetuates the same destructive patterns.
“Letting fear what ifs and lack and scarcity thinking run your life. That is a massive form of self sabotage that I see women day in and day out engaging it”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 5:50
Fear, what-ifs, and scarcity thinking are massive forms of self-sabotage that torpedo dreams faster than almost anything else. This thinking is toxic and based on lies that won't set you up for success. It keeps women stuck in patterns that prevent them from taking positive action toward their goals.
A 3-step exercise to identify and eliminate self-sabotage patterns that prevent fertility success
Spot It
Take a good long look at your day and identify exactly how you sabotaged yourself. This isn't about beating yourself up - it's about awareness. Self-sabotage can be a series of seemingly innocent choices whose cumulative effect is disastrous.
Decide What to Do
Ask yourself what you're going to do about the sabotage you've identified. The decision is simple: do nothing or do something. Any momentum forward in the direction of your success is a win.
Take Bold Action
When you spot the sabotage, end its stronghold with bold, positive action. Awareness without action is what your saboteurs live for - they love when you know you need change but don't act.
Self-sabotage is universal and often subtle - everyone does it, including top performers who hire coaches to combat it
Steve Jobs had a coach, Oprah has coaches - anyone with aspiration for success understands they are their own worst enemy and need insurance against self-sabotage
Going to bed too late is a form of self-sabotage because strong mindset requires energy and is difficult to maintain when tired
Women spend extra time torturing themselves with Dr. Google instead of getting rest needed for strong mindset maintenance
Blaming others for your circumstances is self-sabotage because it denies you the opportunity to take loving responsibility for your role
Many women engage in blame without realizing it, which prevents them from examining their own role and creating change
Fear, what-ifs, and scarcity thinking are massive forms of self-sabotage that torpedo dreams faster than almost anything else
This toxic thinking pattern is based in lies and fucked up thinking that will not set women up for fertility success
Making excuses like 'that's too expensive' is self-sabotage - you must ask what it's costing you NOT to do the thing
Women convince themselves organic food or coaching is too expensive without calculating the cost of not investing in their fertility success
Saying 'my partner won't let me' is one of the saddest, most embarrassing ways women sabotage themselves
As an adult woman with a brain, no one lets you do anything - your partner is your partner, not your parent, and this excuse must stop
Thinking 'if it was gonna happen, it would have happened by now' is linear thinking that torpedoes dreams and causes missed opportunities
Believing things happen in logical, linear fashion on the fertility journey takes women out of the game and causes them to miss opportunities
Telling yourself 'I'm already doing everything' is usually false - you're likely holding back from the one thing that scares you most
Women who claim to be doing everything are typically avoiding the one action that frightens them, and there's usually something they're longing to do but not doing
High-achieving women often sabotage themselves by thinking they must do the fertility journey alone, but it requires entirely different skills
Type A women dominate in their professions and executive roles, but succeeding on fertility journey with real challenges requires an entirely different skill set that must be learned
Awareness empowers action - what separates those who succeed from those who don't is acknowledging they don't like their circumstances and doing something about it
People who succeed quit attending their own pity parties, get up, brush their teeth, get dressed, and get about the business of living a life of fulfillment, not regret
Awareness without action is what your saboteurs live for - they love when you know you need to change but don't do anything
The negative voice in your head thrives when you're aware you need change but don't take action, allowing saboteurs to run your life while you go back to sleep
Self-sabotage is universal and often subtle - everyone does it, including top performers who hire coaches to combat it
▶ 3:06Going to bed too late is a form of self-sabotage because strong mindset requires energy and is difficult to maintain when tired
▶ 4:39Blaming others for your circumstances is self-sabotage because it denies you the opportunity to take loving responsibility for your role
▶ 5:30Fear, what-ifs, and scarcity thinking are massive forms of self-sabotage that torpedo dreams faster than almost anything else
▶ 5:50Making excuses like 'that's too expensive' is self-sabotage - you must ask what it's costing you NOT to do the thing
▶ 6:21Saying 'my partner won't let me' is one of the saddest, most embarrassing ways women sabotage themselves
▶ 6:51Thinking 'if it was gonna happen, it would have happened by now' is linear thinking that torpedoes dreams and causes missed opportunities
▶ 7:22Telling yourself 'I'm already doing everything' is usually false - you're likely holding back from the one thing that scares you most
▶ 8:33High-achieving women often sabotage themselves by thinking they must do the fertility journey alone, but it requires entirely different skills
▶ 9:25Awareness empowers action - what separates those who succeed from those who don't is acknowledging they don't like their circumstances and doing something about it
▶ 10:29Awareness without action is what your saboteurs live for - they love when you know you need to change but don't do anything
▶ 13:04Scroll for more
“If it was meant to happen, it would have happened by now”
CONSIDER: Things don't happen in logical, linear fashion on the fertility journey - this thinking torpedoes dreams and causes missed opportunities
“I have to do this fertility journey by myself because I'm successful in other areas”
CONSIDER: The fertility journey requires entirely different skills than professional success and must be learned with support
“The desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you”
“Steve Jobs had a coach. Oprah has coaches. Anyone with any aspiration for success has a fucking coach”
“As an adult fucking woman with a brain, no one lets you do shit”
“Awareness empowers action”
“When you spot the sabotage, you end its stronghold with bold, positive action”
“People who succeed acknowledge they don't like their circumstances and they fucking do something about it”
EP73 A Miracle, 5 Years In the Making
How a woman went from a near-death ectopic pregnancy and seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to conceiving at 40 after 5 years of setbacks.
EP288: The Break Glass In Case of Fertility Freakout Episode
The most powerful episode to save for your darkest fertility moments - Rosanne's fierce wake-up call that will snap you out of despair and back into your power.
EP52 What To Do When You Want To Give Up
The moment you want to give up is exactly when you need to double down - here's why that's when your breakthrough comes.
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
Your mindset determines whether you see yourself as a victim of circumstances or an empowered woman who can overcome any obstacle on your fertility journey.
Anne Marie transformed from seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to an empowered woman who switched clinics twice, advocated for the ERA test, and ultimately conceived at 40 after 5 years of challenges including life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.
When doctors dismiss your requests for testing or treatment options, you have every right to leave and find a provider who will partner with you in your care.
Anne Marie left her first clinic when they refused the ERA test, then left her second clinic when they pushed donor eggs without trying her own eggs first. At the third clinic, she got pregnant within 6 months using her own eggs at 40.
The desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was fucking meant for you - this desire is your divine assignment
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by following this principle. Recent podcast guests Elise and Mikayla both held babies after choosing belief over their circumstances.
Belief always precedes the miracle - you must believe even in the darkest moments, not just when things feel good
All of the recent podcast success stories featured women who believed bigger than their current circumstances. A fertility expert interviewed confirmed that most fertility challenges are figureoutable.
