Anne Marie shares her incredible 5-year fertility journey from multiple surgeries and fibroids to a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy that cost her a fallopian tube, then going through three different clinics before finally conceiving at 40. Her transformation from seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to an empowered woman who advocated for herself medically led to her miracle pregnancy.
Anne MarieAge 40· IVF· BabyBefore
Saw herself as a 'barren orphan' who would burst into tears uncontrollably when friends asked about her journey
Key Shift
Questioned limiting beliefs with 'Is this actually true?' and learned to advocate for herself medically
After
Empowered woman who switches clinics when needed, trusts her instincts, and sees abundance in her relationships
Anne Marie shares how her fertility journey started shortly after marriage at 35, leading to early pregnancy followed by devastating miscarriage. The discovery of extensive fibroids requiring multiple surgeries would set the stage for years of unexpected challenges ahead.
A routine lunch break turned into a life-threatening emergency when Anne Marie's ectopic pregnancy ruptured. Her calm response - calling an Uber and walking to the pickup location - demonstrates the strength that would carry her through years of setbacks.
Anne Marie reveals the devastating identity she created for herself, seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' after losing her parents young and struggling with infertility. This powerful conversation shows how our deepest pain can become our greatest source of transformation.
After being dismissed by two different clinics, Anne Marie learned to advocate for herself and seek providers who would truly partner with her. Her willingness to switch clinics twice ultimately led to the doctor who helped her conceive at 40.
Anne Marie's final transfer succeeded after she trusted her instincts about medication and found a doctor who offered hope instead of limitations. Her story proves that age, history, and past failures don't determine your future possibilities.
“I woke up, and they were like you know, we we were able to confirm that it was an ectopic pregnancy. Unfortunately, the embryo was growing in your tube and we had to remove your fallopian tube.”
— Anne Marie▶ 18:01
Yes, you can absolutely get pregnant after an ectopic pregnancy and surgery. Anne Marie had a life-threatening ectopic pregnancy that required emergency surgery and removal of her fallopian tube, but she went on to conceive at age 40 after continuing her fertility journey.
“I just upped and left the clinic. I don't think I would have had the guts to do that if I hadn't met you because you were already telling me about the importance of advocating for yourself”
— Anne Marie▶ 40:00
You have every right to advocate for yourself and find a new doctor if your current one won't consider tests or treatments you want to try. Anne Marie left two different clinics when doctors dismissed her requests and found success with her third doctor who was willing to try multiple approaches.
“The majority of the appointments happen very early in the morning... I was able to attend all of those kind of meetings, you know, say seven o'clock, seven fifteen, and get to work.”
— Anne Marie▶ 24:44
Most IVF monitoring happens early morning, so you can schedule appointments before work and maintain your career. Anne Marie attended 7am appointments and was often early to work on treatment days, with her career actually thriving during her 5-year fertility journey.
“anytime I would meet up with a friend who knew what was going on, who's, you know, being supportive, well meaning, they would always ask, you know, how's it going? And I would just burst into tears, like, uncontrollably.”
— Anne Marie▶ 29:51
Yes, uncontrollable crying when discussing your fertility journey is completely normal, especially after years of trying. It often indicates you need additional support. Anne Marie experienced this and it was a sign she needed mindset coaching to process her emotions.
“Within six months of seeing him, we did a retrieval and a transfer, and that's the baby I'm carrying now.”
— Anne Marie▶ 45:08
Yes, age 40 doesn't mean the end of possibilities, especially if you're willing to advocate for different approaches. Anne Marie conceived at 40 after using all six of her normal embryos and being told to consider donor eggs, but found success with a new doctor and fresh approach.
“if you want something, you're gonna find a way to get it... I managed to pull together money for a cycle in in one evening just looking at various sources”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 49:27
Money obstacles are often mindset issues rather than real limitations. When you truly want something, you can find ways to access funds through savings, credit, or liquidating assets. The key is recognizing abundance rather than focusing on scarcity.
Steps to take charge of your medical care and find providers who will partner with you
Research your options
Learn about tests and treatments you want to discuss, like the ERA test for embryo transfer timing
Ask direct questions
Present specific requests to your doctor and ask for their reasoning if they decline
Don't accept dismissal
If a doctor won't consider your requests without valid medical reasons, you have the right to seek a second opinion
Be willing to switch providers
Take your medical records and find a doctor who will work collaboratively with you
Trust your instincts
If something doesn't feel right about medications or protocols, speak up and advocate for adjustments
Your mindset determines whether you see yourself as a victim of circumstances or an empowered woman who can overcome any obstacle on your fertility journey.
Anne Marie transformed from seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to an empowered woman who switched clinics twice, advocated for the ERA test, and ultimately conceived at 40 after 5 years of challenges including life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.
When doctors dismiss your requests for testing or treatment options, you have every right to leave and find a provider who will partner with you in your care.
Anne Marie left her first clinic when they refused the ERA test, then left her second clinic when they pushed donor eggs without trying her own eggs first. At the third clinic, she got pregnant within 6 months using her own eggs at 40.
Statistics and past failures don't determine your future - you can go from six normal embryos to zero and still conceive naturally with the right mindset and medical team.
Anne Marie used all six of her genetically normal embryos without success, was told to consider donor eggs, but then conceived naturally on her next retrieval at 40 with a new doctor who believed in her potential.
The simple question 'Is this actually true?' can completely transform how you see your circumstances and open up new possibilities.
When Anne Marie questioned whether she was really a 'barren orphan,' she realized she had abundant family through her husband, brother, and close friends - shifting from scarcity to abundance thinking.
Money is never the real obstacle to having a baby - lack and scarcity are mindsets, not actual circumstances.
Anne Marie pulled together money for another IVF cycle in one evening by looking at savings, bank accounts, and even increasing her credit limit when she thought she couldn't afford treatment.
Your fertility journey is happening alongside your life, not instead of it - you can excel in your career while pursuing motherhood.
Anne Marie's career went from strength to strength during her 5-year journey, attending early morning appointments and using work as a positive distraction while never missing important professional opportunities.
Trust your instincts about medications and treatment protocols - you know your body better than anyone.
Anne Marie insisted on removing a medication that didn't feel right for her final transfer, even though it meant more monitoring. That cycle was successful after the previous one with the medication had failed.
Building your support team is an investment in yourself, not a luxury - surround yourself with people who believe in your vision.
Anne Marie invested in a mindset coach, acupuncturist, personal trainer, nutritionist, and support group of women going through fertility challenges - creating her 'bump squad' that supported her success.
Your mindset determines whether you see yourself as a victim of circumstances or an empowered woman who can overcome any obstacle on your fertility journey.
▶ 34:30When doctors dismiss your requests for testing or treatment options, you have every right to leave and find a provider who will partner with you in your care.
▶ 39:50Statistics and past failures don't determine your future - you can go from six normal embryos to zero and still conceive naturally with the right mindset and medical team.
▶ 42:00The simple question 'Is this actually true?' can completely transform how you see your circumstances and open up new possibilities.
▶ 35:53Money is never the real obstacle to having a baby - lack and scarcity are mindsets, not actual circumstances.
▶ 48:54Your fertility journey is happening alongside your life, not instead of it - you can excel in your career while pursuing motherhood.
▶ 26:07Trust your instincts about medications and treatment protocols - you know your body better than anyone.
▶ 51:51Building your support team is an investment in yourself, not a luxury - surround yourself with people who believe in your vision.
▶ 54:29“If you've had multiple failed IVF cycles, you should consider donor eggs or give up”
CONSIDER: Failed cycles with one doctor or protocol don't determine what's possible with a different approach - keep advocating for yourself
“Tragic losses like losing parents young make you broken or unlucky in life”
CONSIDER: Your losses don't define you - you can reframe your story to see the love and family that still surrounds you
“I feel like a barren orphan.”
“Is this actually true? Such a powerful question.”
“I don't think I would have had the guts to do that if I hadn't met you because you were already telling me about the importance of advocating for yourself”
“when you're tired, take a rest, don't quit.”
“Your dreams matter. This desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you.”
EP209 Grit = Gold On The Fertility Journey: Somaya’s Story
After three ectopic pregnancies and multiple miscarriages, this London lawyer discovered the one thing that changed everything—and it wasn't medical.
EP31: They Said “It” Would Never Happen For Her. Wrong!
The doctors said it would never happen for her—multiple fibroid surgeries, advanced maternal age, and years of failed attempts—but Tracy proved them spectacularly wrong.
EP16: The Journey Is Preparation
What if your fertility journey isn't happening TO you, but FOR you—preparing you to be the exact mother your future child needs?
Conditions
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
Secondary infertility creates unique isolation because you don't fit into either the 'can't conceive' club or the 'conceive easily' club, leading to shame and guilt about wanting more
Somaya experienced secondary infertility after her first son, enduring three ectopic pregnancies and multiple miscarriages while feeling guilty about not being grateful for her existing child.
Successful professionals often fail to apply their strategic thinking to fertility, instead relying on hope rather than creating a comprehensive plan with experts and resources
Somaya, a top legal recruiter in London, realized she would strategically involve experts for professional challenges but was just 'living on a prayer and hope' for her fertility journey.
Money and scarcity mindset can be the biggest obstacle to fertility success, even more than medical conditions
Tracy delayed IVF for years due to scarcity beliefs rooted in childhood, asking 'why pay for something my body should do naturally?' This mindset kept her stuck until she learned to pivot and invest in her dream.
You must be the woman who succeeded before you actually see tangible success
Tracy bought baby girl outfits months before conceiving naturally at 42, and wore a 'mother of two' necklace while still trying for her second child. She trusted her vision despite having no evidence.
