Dr. Caroline shares how she transformed from fear-based fertility treatments to manifesting two miracles - first through IVF while completing her medical residency, then conceiving naturally for the first time at 35 after canceling her second IVF consultation.
CarolineAge 35· natural· Baby and naturally conceived second babyBefore
Zero to sixty on stress, throwing everything at the wall, feeling disconnected from herself, focusing on worst case scenarios
Key Shift
Taking the 30,000 foot view of her story, approaching treatment with an open hand instead of iron fist, getting back in tune with herself
After
Feeling lightness going into cycles, able to enjoy pregnancy day by day, bringing joy and peace back into her life
Dr. Caroline's journey began with the classic type-A approach - trying to conceive while living on different coasts, during medical training, with a detailed timeline that wasn't working. Despite her medical background, she found herself spiraling into the worst-case-scenario thinking that her training had taught her, completely disconnected from the stress she was actually experiencing.
After being told she had terrible egg quality at just 34, Caroline threw everything at the wall - acupuncture, herbs, supplements - spending crazy amounts of money on treatments that didn't feel right for her. A brief moment of hope with her first positive pregnancy test ended in miscarriage, becoming the breaking point that made her realize she needed to do this differently.
Despite being in the most demanding phase of her medical training, Caroline made the courageous decision to invest in mindset work. The 30,000-foot view exercise revealed that stress, not broken biology, was the predominant theme of her journey. She learned to approach treatment with an 'open hand' instead of an 'iron fist,' creating the lightness that led to her first successful pregnancy.
The biggest surprise came a month before recording this episode - Caroline and her husband canceled their second IVF consultation to try naturally, and she conceived for the first time without medical intervention. This breakthrough demonstrates the lasting power of mindset transformation, proving that the woman once told she had terrible egg quality could create miracles when fear was replaced with faith.
“a month ago, I was actually scheduled to meet with my REI again to think about having baby number two... we canceled the appointment and decided to just try and see what happens... we actually just got a positive pregnancy test last week, which is the first ever time that I have gotten pregnant naturally”
— Caroline▶ 31:08
Yes, Dr. Caroline was told she had terrible egg quality at 34, achieved IVF success, then conceived naturally for the first time at 35 after doing mindset work to address fear and stress patterns.
“it was what I needed, and it was like prioritizing myself amidst the crazy... I couldn't handle the chaos around me if I was also feeling chaos inside”
— Caroline▶ 17:11
Dr. Caroline successfully navigated IVF during her medical residency by learning to prioritize herself and get her mindset right, saying she needed to handle the chaos inside to deal with chaos around her.
“when I went back through and got my story straight, it was like, okay. This isn't something that's wrong with me or my soul or me as a woman. This is just what was happening in life”
— Caroline▶ 19:54
The 30,000 foot view involves writing down and telling yourself your complete fertility story to see stress patterns and circumstances you couldn't recognize while living through them. It helps you see the full truth rather than just focusing on negative aspects.
“I was able to really just be here for that little baby while it was in my tummy, and it was such a great way to approach that pregnancy”
— Caroline▶ 23:42
The same mindset tools that help with conception also support you through pregnancy by helping you take things day by day rather than worrying about every possible problem, allowing you to enjoy the experience more.
“I think I was able through the work that we did to kind of approach it with an open hand... not this iron fist, that if I don't do this, my life is over and I'm worthless”
— Caroline▶ 21:58
Approaching treatment with an open hand means being in receiving mode rather than having an iron fist grip on outcomes. It's the mindset of 'if this isn't the time, that's okay, but if it comes, I'm here for it' rather than feeling your whole life hangs in the balance.
A powerful exercise to gain perspective on your fertility journey and identify stress patterns you may not recognize while living through them
Write it down
Take the trouble to actually write down your complete fertility story rather than just thinking about it
Tell it aloud
Practice telling your story out loud - while driving, going for a run, or to a trusted person
Do it multiple times
Revisit this exercise regularly as your perspective may shift and you may notice new patterns
Look for stress patterns
Identify times when you were under stress - job changes, moves, major life transitions - that coincided with your fertility struggles
Reframe the narrative
Shift from 'something is wrong with me' to understanding how life circumstances and stress affected your journey
Where you spend your mental energy is what you manifest in your life - focusing on what you don't want brings more of what you don't want
Dr. Caroline spent mental energy worrying about needing IVF and having problems, and that's exactly what manifested in her life. When she shifted to focusing on success, she achieved two pregnancies.
Taking the 30,000 foot view and telling yourself your true story reveals stress patterns you couldn't see while living them
Dr. Caroline realized she went 'zero to sixty on stress' - starting to try while living on different coasts, during residency, with constant travel - but didn't recognize the stress in the moment.
Approaching fertility treatment with an 'open hand' instead of an 'iron fist' creates lightness and receiving mode rather than desperation
Dr. Caroline's successful transfer happened when she approached it thinking 'if this isn't the time, that's okay, but if it comes, I'm here for it' rather than feeling her whole life hung in the balance.
The mindset skills that help you conceive also help you enjoy pregnancy and become a better mother
Dr. Caroline used the same tools to take pregnancy 'day by day' instead of worrying about every possible problem, and says it made her a better mom because 'you start being a great mom before you're even pregnant.'
You have to decide what world you want to accept your baby into - one with fear and worry or one with joy and peace
Dr. Caroline realized she needed to create a life of joy and peace rather than fear and worry as the environment to welcome her future child into.
Being told you have poor egg quality at 34 is not a life sentence - it's information that can be transformed with the right approach
Dr. Caroline was told she had 'terrible, shitty egg quality' at 34, but went on to have successful IVF and then conceive naturally for the first time at 35.
Throwing everything at the wall without being in tune with yourself is exhausting and disconnects you from who you are
Dr. Caroline tried acupuncture, herbs, and every supplement despite being in Western medicine, spending 'crazy amounts of money' on treatments that didn't feel right for her.
Medical training that teaches you to consider every worst case scenario can work against you on the fertility journey
Dr. Caroline realized her medical training made her 'go to the worst case scenario' but she needed to have 'compassion for myself and be a little bit gentler' instead of the 'type A, get it done, tackle the next step' approach.
You're worth doing this better - you deserve better than being scared and feeling shame throughout your fertility journey
Dr. Caroline's key message to other women after achieving success both through IVF and naturally was 'you deserve to have this be the best possible process with the best possible outcome.'
Having fertility challenges gives physicians more compassion for patients facing tough situations
Dr. Caroline says her fertility journey and mindset work made her a better physician: 'I have talked with patients who've been in hard situations trying to get pregnant, and I get where they are coming from.'
Where you spend your mental energy is what you manifest in your life - focusing on what you don't want brings more of what you don't want
▶ 10:58Taking the 30,000 foot view and telling yourself your true story reveals stress patterns you couldn't see while living them
▶ 18:24Approaching fertility treatment with an 'open hand' instead of an 'iron fist' creates lightness and receiving mode rather than desperation
▶ 21:58The mindset skills that help you conceive also help you enjoy pregnancy and become a better mother
▶ 25:06You have to decide what world you want to accept your baby into - one with fear and worry or one with joy and peace
▶ 28:02Being told you have poor egg quality at 34 is not a life sentence - it's information that can be transformed with the right approach
▶ 6:22Throwing everything at the wall without being in tune with yourself is exhausting and disconnects you from who you are
▶ 8:03Medical training that teaches you to consider every worst case scenario can work against you on the fertility journey
▶ 14:55You're worth doing this better - you deserve better than being scared and feeling shame throughout your fertility journey
▶ 29:23Having fertility challenges gives physicians more compassion for patients facing tough situations
▶ 30:26“If you think positive thoughts about getting pregnant, you'll jinx it”
CONSIDER: Not picturing success brings about the bad feelings you're trying to avoid - focusing on what you want is how you create it in every other area of life
“Having unexplained infertility or poor egg quality means something is fundamentally wrong with you as a woman”
CONSIDER: Your fertility challenges are about what was happening in your life circumstances, not about your worth or identity as a woman
“How powerful are you?”
“I had no clue that I was stressed during this time. I would have told you I wasn't stressed. I was fine. I was handling my shit.”
“There has to be another way through this process.”
“You have to decide what world you want to accept that baby into. One with fear and worry or one with joy and peace.”
“You're worth doing this better. You deserve better than being scared and feeling shame and all those negative emotions.”
“Don't doubt yourselves, ladies. You can do it.”
“We are more powerful than we think, aren't we?”
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EP330: They Got RUSHED Into IVF, But Proved They Could Do It Naturally: Krysten and Carson's Story
The couple told IVF was their only option at 34 proved everyone wrong by conceiving naturally at 38 after releasing the death grip on their fertility journey.
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After 5 years of trying, ectopic pregnancy, and IVF failure, Louise trusted her intuition and conceived naturally at 42 — now 27 weeks pregnant with the baby girl she always knew was coming.
Frameworks & Methods
Past treatment failures don't predict future success - your history is not your destiny
Dr. Kathy had AMH of 0.23, failed IUIs, miscarriage, and failed IVF that produced only one egg, yet conceived naturally at 37 and is now 34 weeks pregnant with her son.
High-achieving women are especially susceptible to the seduction of statistics and can get trapped in their analytical minds
Dr. Kathy, both a physician and lawyer, went down the 'rabbit hole' of AMH research and statistics, initially trusting science more than her body despite doctors having more faith in her than she had in herself.
Women can become more fertile in their late thirties than they were in their mid-thirties, regardless of medical predictions
Krysten was told she had low AMH and diminished ovarian reserve at 34, but conceived naturally at 38 after years of failed treatments, proving fertility can improve with age and mindset work.
When couples align with their true values rather than medical pressure, conception often follows naturally
Krysten and Carson felt pushed into IVF but it didn't align with their values. When they returned to wanting natural conception, took their honeymoon, and released control, they conceived naturally even with Carson having COVID during ovulation.
