Fertility mindset coach Rosanne Austin interviews Lauren Joyce, The Magnetic Woman, about the crucial connection between femininity, pleasure, and fertility. They explore how disconnection from feminine energy can impact conception and share practical ways to reclaim sensuality and pleasure during the fertility journey.
Feminine empowerment and embodiment
Key Insights
Actionable Advice
Lauren shares her transformation from a disconnected overachiever shaped by Catholic conditioning to discovering feminine power through grief and loss. Her father's death at 25 became a catalyst for refusing limitation and finding Regina Thomashauer's work on pleasure and embodiment.
Both women explore how conception is fundamentally feminine and requires receptivity, yet most professional women operate from control patterns rather than healthy masculine energy. They discuss how cultural programming has made women fear and distrust their feminine power.
Lauren provides concrete strategies for incorporating pleasure into daily life through micro moments and pleasure lists. She reframes pleasure as a healing modality that brings you into present moment awareness rather than expensive luxury experiences.
The conversation expands the definition of feminine energy to include fierce protective aspects like boundaries and righteous rage. Lauren challenges common spiritual teachings that only emphasize the soft, surrendered aspects of femininity while ignoring its powerful protective nature.
“when you're trying to conceive, you're doing the most feminine thing you could possibly do”
— Lauren Joyce▶ 3:07
Conception is the most feminine thing you can do, so being disconnected from feminine energy creates challenges. Femininity involves receptivity, intuition, pleasure, and being present in your body - all essential for creating optimal conditions for conception.
“for most women, you're not so in your masculine as much as you have control issues”
— Lauren Joyce▶ 23:38
Most women aren't actually operating from healthy masculine energy but rather from control issues stemming from feeling unsafe in their bodies and the world. True masculine energy is focused action, while control issues are fear-based attempts to manage outcomes.
“You gotta make a pleasure list. You gotta make a list of keep it on your phone, keep it next to your computer. What are the things that bring you pleasure?”
— Lauren Joyce▶ 25:43
Start by making a pleasure list on your phone with simple, accessible items like specific teas, short walks, or songs that make you feel good. Focus on micro moments of being present to sensory experiences rather than expensive luxury items.
“the majority of what you are experiencing, your fears, your body image issues, your judgment and shame on yourself is not because you are inherently broken or flawed. It is because for twenty five hundred years, that's the messaging that we've received”
— Lauren Joyce▶ 19:09
This is cultural programming from 2500 years of patriarchal messaging that portrayed feminine qualities as inferior. True femininity includes both nurturing softness and fierce protective power - it's about being the fullest expression of yourself.
“your body as the first home of your child because it is. Right? And if we think about, okay, I'm ready to bring my child into the world. You wanna create the most beautiful and nurturing space”
— Lauren Joyce▶ 18:42
Think of your body as the first home for your future child. Focus on how you're treating and caring for this home rather than criticizing or fighting against it. Create a welcoming, nurturing environment through your thoughts and actions.
“I think in twenty twenty two, the safest place for a woman is deeply grounded in her feminine power”
— Lauren Joyce▶ 42:01
Yes, in 2022 the safest place for a woman is deeply grounded in her feminine power. Your intuition and discernment provide energetic safety and help you navigate the fertility journey with greater wisdom and self-trust.
Practical steps to reconnect with feminine energy and pleasure during your fertility journey
Examine your beliefs
Look at what you were told or taught about femininity and pleasure. Identify judgments and fears you have about being in your feminine power.
Create a pleasure list
Make a list on your phone of things that bring you pleasure, from simple items like specific teas to luxurious experiences. Keep it accessible for stressful moments.
Practice micro moments
Focus on being completely present to sensory experiences throughout your day, like the taste and smell of morning coffee or the feeling of a warm shower.
Reframe your body relationship
Think of your body as the first home for your future child. Ask yourself how you're treating and caring for this sacred space.
Embrace both aspects of feminine
Recognize that feminine power includes both nurturing softness and fierce protective boundaries. Allow yourself to express the full spectrum.
Conception is the most feminine thing you can possibly do, so disconnection from feminine energy creates a recipe for disappointment
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 during a year of saying bigger yeses to pleasure, including a sensual European trip doing everything experts say not to do - wearing heels on cobblestones, eating cheese, drinking wine.
Most women aren't actually in their masculine energy as much as they have control issues because they feel unsafe in their body and in the world as a woman
Lauren Joyce spent ten years in Catholic school receiving daily conditioning about what it means to be a good and moral woman, leading to disconnection from her body and over-reliance on achievement for validation.
Pleasure brings you into your body and into the present moment - you can't be freaked out about what's happening next week or obsessed about what didn't happen last month
Lauren recommends making a pleasure list on your phone of simple things like specific peppermint tea or 20-minute walks to access during stressful moments when you can't think of what's pleasurable.
Living a pleasurable life is about micro moments - are you completely present to the sensations of that cup of coffee or tea, or are you looking at your phone already freaked out about emails?
Lauren explains that pleasure doesn't require five hours at the spa or luxurious bubble baths - it's about being present to simple sensory experiences throughout the day.
Your body is the first home of your child - how are you treating this home? How are you taking care of this home?
Lauren connects this to why women in France experience menopause differently because they're told it's the second spring of life rather than being dried up and old, resulting in fewer physiological symptoms.
We need to kill the martyr mother mentality - if you're choosing suffering and doing things the most challenging way possible, you're already signing up for that pattern
Lauren points out that cultural messaging of 'no pain, no gain' and 'suffer to prove you deserve it' creates resistance to pleasure even before becoming a mother.
The feminine is not just soft and surrendered - it's also bloody righteous rage, unshakable boundaries, the power to burn down things that aren't serving us
Lauren references Goddess Kali energy and explains that most polarity work only teaches the soft side of feminine while ignoring the fierce protective aspects.
The feminine desire is what leads - it's feminine desire first, then the masculine reacts and starts taking action toward that desire
Lauren challenges the common belief that masculine energy leads, explaining that desire initiates everything and then masculine energy responds with action.
In 2022, the safest place for a woman is deeply grounded in her feminine power - it's actually less safe to be disconnected from our bodies and pleasure
Lauren explains that while disconnection may have been survival during the Spanish Inquisition and witch trials, now discernment and intuitive knowing provide energetic and emotional safety.
Conception is the most feminine thing you can possibly do, so disconnection from feminine energy creates a recipe for disappointment
▶ 24:52Most women aren't actually in their masculine energy as much as they have control issues because they feel unsafe in their body and in the world as a woman
▶ 30:31Pleasure brings you into your body and into the present moment - you can't be freaked out about what's happening next week or obsessed about what didn't happen last month
▶ 26:55Living a pleasurable life is about micro moments - are you completely present to the sensations of that cup of coffee or tea, or are you looking at your phone already freaked out about emails?
▶ 28:28Your body is the first home of your child - how are you treating this home? How are you taking care of this home?
▶ 47:32We need to kill the martyr mother mentality - if you're choosing suffering and doing things the most challenging way possible, you're already signing up for that pattern
▶ 38:55The feminine is not just soft and surrendered - it's also bloody righteous rage, unshakable boundaries, the power to burn down things that aren't serving us
▶ 44:45The feminine desire is what leads - it's feminine desire first, then the masculine reacts and starts taking action toward that desire
▶ 45:28In 2022, the safest place for a woman is deeply grounded in her feminine power - it's actually less safe to be disconnected from our bodies and pleasure
▶ 42:02“The feminine is weak, needy, dependent, and emotionally unstable”
CONSIDER: The feminine encompasses both nurturing softness and fierce protective power - it's about being the fullest expression of yourself
“Pleasure is frivolous luxury that takes too much time and money”
CONSIDER: Pleasure is a healing modality accessible through micro moments - it lowers cortisol and brings you into present moment awareness
“You have to suffer and do things the hard way to prove you deserve success”
CONSIDER: Choosing ease and pleasure creates the optimal vibrational state for receiving what you desire
“when you're trying to conceive, you're doing the most feminine thing you could possibly do”
“conceiving is all about receiving, and receiving is feminine”
“for most women, you're not so in your masculine as much as you have control issues”
“pleasure brings you into your body and into the present moment”
“your body as the first home of your child”
“it's time that we kill the martyr mother mentality”
“the feminine is also bloody righteous rage, unshakable boundaries”
“the feminine desire is what leads. It is feminine desire first, then the masculine reacts”
A Fearlessly Fertile Special: No Negative Energy Around Your Embryo! A Conversation with Dr. Erica Bove, MD, REI
Meet the fertility doctor who prays before embryo transfers and can sense if they'll work before leaving the OR.
EP120 The Current Landscape of Women’s Health with Dr. Christiane Northrup
One of the most trusted voices in women's health reveals why conception is truly about receiving and shares critical insights every woman trying to conceive needs to hear right now.
EP69 The Divine Feminine: Your Fertility Super Power w/Darshan Mendoza
Discover how your disconnection from feminine energy might be blocking your fertility—and the powerful practices that can transform you into a magnetic vessel for your baby.
A fertility doctor can sense whether an embryo will implant with nearly 100% certainty before leaving the operating room
Dr. Erica Bove states she can tell 'with almost a hundred percent certainty' if an embryo will take before leaving the OR, even though embryos shouldn't implant for 24-48 hours minimum.
If a woman is not in a receptive state to receive an embryo, the transfer should be stopped for prayer and meditation
Dr. Bove explains 'if I sense that a woman is really not in a receptive state to receive an embryo, I'm not gonna put that embryo in. I stop the show. We're praying. We're meditating.'
Conception is fundamentally about receiving, not controlling - women must learn to be like the egg that signals and chooses, not like the sperm that chases
Dr. Northrup explains that at ovulation, the egg releases chemical signals that sperm swim toward, and the egg chooses which sperm to accept. She taught this through Argentine tango where women must learn to receive the lead.
There are three ways of knowing: gut instinct from experience, studied knowledge from education, and information someone told you - the third is the one you didn't have to work for
Dr. Northrup draws from decades of medical practice where overeducated patients had 'endless attack surfaces for propaganda' because they relied primarily on what others told them rather than developing inner knowing.
