Rosanne teaches the 8th Fertility Success Principle: Better Not Bitter. She explains how holding onto bitterness from past fertility experiences creates energy leaks and blocks to your baby, while choosing to get better from those experiences creates success momentum.
After nine years of coaching women to fertility success across six continents, Rosanne identifies consistent patterns among successful women from diverse backgrounds. Despite different professions and life experiences, they all demonstrate the ability to transform past disappointments into wisdom rather than staying stuck in bitterness.
Bitterness is unresolved anger that creates energy leaks and blocks to your baby. When you ruminate on past fertility disappointments, you're dividing precious attention between past grievances and current fertility goals, essentially living in the past instead of creating your future.
The practical framework involves listing five things you're bitter about, then reframing each by asking 'How can I be better as a result of this?' This transforms disappointments into actionable wisdom, like developing better discernment for building your support team after a poor doctor experience.
Past negative experiences can poison your ability to build the fertility support team you need. If you approach new professionals with suspicion based on previous disappointments, you make them work ten times harder and prevent yourself from getting the help you actually want.
“Bitter creates blocks to your baby, And you've gotta get better at moving from bitter so that you can do better.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 4:46
Bitterness creates blocks to your baby by dividing your attention between past grievances and your current fertility goals. It shapes your decisions negatively and prevents you from building the support team you need.
“So the question that I want you to ask yourself is, how can I be better as a result of this? Okay? How can I get out of bitter and get into better?”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 8:30
List five things you're bitter about from your fertility journey, then for each one ask: 'How can I be better as a result of this?' Transform each disappointment into a lesson or strength that serves your current journey.
“It's really unresolved anger and frustration about something that happened in the past that it's caused them to to look upon their dream with a slightly jaundiced eye.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 5:27
Bitterness is unresolved anger and frustration that makes you look at your fertility dreams with a jaundiced eye. It keeps you living in the past instead of focusing energy on creating your future family.
“If you allow that one poor experience to persuade you that all doctors are in it for the money and nobody fucking cares about you, how are you ever gonna get the support you actually want?”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 12:45
If you let one bad experience convince you that all fertility professionals are greedy or uncaring, you'll approach new partnerships from a place of suspicion, making it impossible to get the support you actually need.
“This is what women who beat the odds this is just what they do. Because if you even suspect that you might be a bitter bee about something in your past, deal with it so that it doesn't create an energy leak for you.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 12:15
Successful fertility clients consistently choose to be better, not bitter. They transform past disappointments into wisdom and strength rather than staying stuck in anger about what didn't work.
A practical exercise to identify and reframe past fertility disappointments into wisdom and strength
Acknowledge Your Bitterness
Make a list of five things you're still holding bitterness over from your fertility journey - bad experiences with doctors, clinics, friends who weren't supportive, or other fertility experts.
Reframe Each Point
For each item on your bitter list, ask yourself: 'How can I be better as a result of this?' Look for what you learned and how you've grown from the experience.
Focus on Practical Wisdom
Transform each disappointment into actionable insight. For example, if a doctor relationship didn't work out, you're now better at interviewing clinics and know what you want in your support team.
Release the Energy
Stop redirecting precious energy to past grievances and focus that energy on your current fertility goals and what you want to create going forward.
Bitter creates blocks to your baby - you've got to get better at moving from bitter so that you can do better
After 9 years coaching women to fertility success, there's a consistent through line among successful women from all walks of life - physicians, lawyers, teachers, nurses, engineers with advanced degrees from around the world.
Bitterness is unresolved anger and frustration about something that happened in the past that causes you to look upon your dream with a slightly jaundiced eye
Women who still talk about bad experiences with physicians or clinics, feeling like they need to get even or meet out justice, are carrying anger that prevents them from processing what happened constructively.
When you keep going back to some event or alleged wrong, you're dividing your attention - instead of your attention being on your baby and what you choose to create from here, you're living in the past
This creates energy leaks where precious energy that could be directed toward your fertility success is instead being redirected to past grievances and rumination.
The exercise is to list five things you're bitter about, then for each one ask: How can I be better as a result of this? How did this work out for me?
For example, if a fertility doctor relationship didn't work out, you can get better by developing more discernment for interviewing clinics and getting clearer about what you want in a partnership for your bump squad.
If you allow one poor experience to persuade you that all doctors are in it for the money and nobody cares about you, how are you ever gonna get the support you actually want?
With that attitude, everyone comes in at a deficit - even if they're truly on your team, you're gonna make them work ten times harder, and you're making your problem their problem, which is emotionally immature.
Bitterness is absolutely one hundred percent unquestionably shaping your decisions through the belief that everybody is out to get you
This follows the pattern of thoughts, beliefs, actions, results - if you're running around with beliefs in bitterness, you will not bring otherwise reasonable and trustworthy people onto your bump squad because you're letting the past totally shape your view of your future.
It takes one brave, badass bitch to admit that she has seventy two pieces of bitterness, and it takes someone even more gangster to make the commitment to work through each one
There's no shame in discovering you're bitter - acknowledging areas where you're holding bitterness is one of the wisest things you can do to prevent it from continuing to be a block to your success.
Bitter creates blocks to your baby - you've got to get better at moving from bitter so that you can do better
▶ 4:46Bitterness is unresolved anger and frustration about something that happened in the past that causes you to look upon your dream with a slightly jaundiced eye
▶ 5:27When you keep going back to some event or alleged wrong, you're dividing your attention - instead of your attention being on your baby and what you choose to create from here, you're living in the past
▶ 6:28The exercise is to list five things you're bitter about, then for each one ask: How can I be better as a result of this? How did this work out for me?
▶ 8:30If you allow one poor experience to persuade you that all doctors are in it for the money and nobody cares about you, how are you ever gonna get the support you actually want?
▶ 12:45Bitterness is absolutely one hundred percent unquestionably shaping your decisions through the belief that everybody is out to get you
▶ 13:47It takes one brave, badass bitch to admit that she has seventy two pieces of bitterness, and it takes someone even more gangster to make the commitment to work through each one
▶ 14:07“You should hold onto anger about past fertility treatment failures to protect yourself and seek justice”
CONSIDER: Transform past disappointments into wisdom and discernment - be better, not bitter
“Bad experiences with fertility professionals mean they're all greedy and don't care”
CONSIDER: Poor experiences are opportunities to develop discernment and get clearer about what you want in your support team
“Bitter creates blocks to your baby, And you've gotta get better at moving from bitter so that you can do better.”
“We are dealing with the fucking miraculous.”
“Instead of your attention being on your baby and what you choose to create from here, it's really you actually living in the past.”
“It takes one brave, badass bitch to admit that she has seventy two pieces of bitterness, and it takes someone even more gangster to make the commitment to work through each and every one of those things.”
“When you do that, you're making your problem their problem. And that's incredibly unfair. It's incredibly unfair, and frankly, it's emotionally immature.”
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EP73 A Miracle, 5 Years In the Making
How a woman went from a near-death ectopic pregnancy and seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to conceiving at 40 after 5 years of setbacks.
EP266 Think You Need To Work Harder? THIS Is Way Better
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The desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was fucking meant for you - this desire is your divine assignment
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by following this principle. Recent podcast guests Elise and Mikayla both held babies after choosing belief over their circumstances.
Belief always precedes the miracle - you must believe even in the darkest moments, not just when things feel good
All of the recent podcast success stories featured women who believed bigger than their current circumstances. A fertility expert interviewed confirmed that most fertility challenges are figureoutable.
Your mindset determines whether you see yourself as a victim of circumstances or an empowered woman who can overcome any obstacle on your fertility journey.
Anne Marie transformed from seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to an empowered woman who switched clinics twice, advocated for the ERA test, and ultimately conceived at 40 after 5 years of challenges including life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.
When doctors dismiss your requests for testing or treatment options, you have every right to leave and find a provider who will partner with you in your care.
Anne Marie left her first clinic when they refused the ERA test, then left her second clinic when they pushed donor eggs without trying her own eggs first. At the third clinic, she got pregnant within 6 months using her own eggs at 40.
