Rosanne challenges the cultural conditioning to 'work harder' on your fertility journey, revealing how this mindset actually keeps you stuck in comparison, not-enoughness, and failure-focused thinking. She teaches a smarter approach: bringing your best instead of working harder.
Rosanne dismantles the cultural conditioning that tells us to 'work harder' when we're not getting results on our fertility journey. She reveals how this mentality is rooted in not-enoughness, comparison, and creates what she calls 'a parasitic pile of not enoughness.'
Instead of grinding harder, Rosanne teaches the concept of 'doing your best' - which comes from love, focuses on your unique journey, and allows for your circumstances. This approach means running your own race in a category of your own.
Rosanne provides a framework for applying this shift through asking 'Am I giving my best? And if not, why?' from a place of love and compassion. These questions help you refocus without the self-flagellation of demanding harder work.
“When we talk about working harder, this is just using sheer grit to push through. When someone's first move is just work harder, what it's indicating is they're not really thinking.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:15
Working harder on your fertility journey actually keeps you stuck because it's rooted in not-enoughness, comparison, and failure-focused thinking. It puts you in constant competition with others and makes you the loser in your own equation.
“The smarter thing is doing your best. So if we break that down, doing your best, the presupposition is you're running your own race. You're in a category of your own.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 11:51
Instead of working harder, focus on 'doing your best.' This means running your own race with no competition, bringing love instead of proving yourself, and taking your unique circumstances into account. Ask yourself compassionately: 'Am I giving my best? And if not, why?'
“I want you to pay attention. And and if you're smart, and I suspect you are if you're listening to this podcast, that take a look this week and and catch how many times you tell yourself to work harder.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 9:17
Notice when you tell yourself to 'work harder' and what energy preceded that thought. Working harder usually comes from not-enoughness, comparison to others, and self-criticism. If you're dismissing all your current efforts and feeling like you're always at a deficit, you're likely in 'work harder' mode.
“If perfection was required, I and all of my other ladies who have beat the odds on this journey, like, not one of us would be here because none of us are perfect.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 19:52
Perfection is a made-up measure usually controlled by someone else and has no application to fertility success. Austin and all her successful clients achieved their dreams without being perfect. Focus on doing your best instead of chasing an impossible standard.
“Because inherently, as I said, working harder is always about comparison, and and you're probably comparing yourself to somebody that, like like, it doesn't even count. It's apples to oranges.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 15:14
Shift from 'working harder' (which is inherently comparative) to 'doing your best' (which is uniquely yours). Remember that you're running your own race in a category of your own, not competing with other women whose journeys are completely different from yours.
“Your brain is portable. It's going everywhere with you on this journey. Whether you're on your back and your legs are in stirrups or you're walking up and down the aisle at the grocery store... your mind is with you.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 2:13
Your mind is portable and goes everywhere with you on your fertility journey. Whether you're in treatment or living daily life, your mental state affects everything. The mind-body connection is a proven missing link that many women overlook in their fertility strategy.
A practical framework for shifting from the counterproductive 'work harder' mentality to the empowering 'do your best' approach
Notice Your 'Work Harder' Triggers
Pay attention this week to how many times you tell yourself to work harder. When you catch it, notice what energy or thought preceded that internal command.
Ask Compassionate Questions
Instead of demanding to work harder, ask yourself with love: 'Am I giving my best? And if not, why?' These are questions of compassion, not indictments.
Remember You're Running Your Own Race
Shift your focus from comparison with others to your unique journey. Recognize that you're in a category of your own with no competition.
Account for Your Uniqueness
Take into consideration your personal history, physical attributes, likes, dislikes, and current circumstances when defining what 'your best' looks like today.
Use the Information to Refocus
Take the insights from your compassionate self-inquiry and use them to nudge yourself toward doing your best from where you are right now.
Working harder on your fertility journey is actually counterproductive because it presupposes you're not enough and puts you in constant comparison with others
Austin notes that in 10 episodes with successful clients, 'not one of them is talking about working harder. If anything, they were doing more of what they love.'
The 'work harder' mentality is rooted in American cultural conditioning that equates suffering with worthiness and creates a parasitic pile of not-enoughness
Austin explains that 'work harder has a presupposition embedded within it that whatever you're doing is not enough' and creates 'this parasitic pile of not enoughness that just keeps building upon itself.'
Working harder always puts you at a deficit and is failure-focused, making you the loser in your own equation
Austin observes that 'whenever you think to yourself, I need to work harder, you don't ever really take a moment to look at your what you're doing and and celebrate it. This is why I say that it's always you at a deficit.'
The smarter approach is 'doing your best' which means you're running your own race with no competition and bringing love instead of proving yourself
Austin teaches that 'doing your best, the presupposition is you're running your own race. You're in a category of your own. There's no competition' and 'it sounds more like love. It sounds more like excitement.'
Your best is always unfolding and takes into account your uniqueness, unlike the rigid standard of 'working harder'
Austin explains that with doing your best, 'you're taking your uniqueness into consideration. You're taking your experience into consideration. You're taking your own personal history, physical attributes, likes and dislikes, all of the things that come together to make up you into account.'
Asking 'Am I giving my best? And if not, why?' from compassion creates a completely different energy than demanding to work harder
Austin teaches that these 'are true questions of compassion' and 'are not indictments of you, but what they do is they help you get refocused' unlike the harsh self-criticism of working harder.
Success on this journey requires being different and not following somebody else's rules about how fertility should work
Austin coaches women 'many, many, many of those women facing single digit odds or basically everyone running out of the room when they walk into the fertility clinic' to success by being different, not working harder.
Your mind is portable and goes everywhere with you on this journey, making mindset critically important whether you're in treatment or daily life
Austin explains that 'Your brain is portable. It's going everywhere with you on this journey. Whether you're on your back and your legs are in stirrups or you're walking up and down the aisle at the grocery store... your mind is with you.'
Working harder on your fertility journey is actually counterproductive because it presupposes you're not enough and puts you in constant comparison with others
▶ 3:04The 'work harder' mentality is rooted in American cultural conditioning that equates suffering with worthiness and creates a parasitic pile of not-enoughness
▶ 3:45Working harder always puts you at a deficit and is failure-focused, making you the loser in your own equation
▶ 5:42The smarter approach is 'doing your best' which means you're running your own race with no competition and bringing love instead of proving yourself
▶ 12:12Your best is always unfolding and takes into account your uniqueness, unlike the rigid standard of 'working harder'
▶ 13:42Asking 'Am I giving my best? And if not, why?' from compassion creates a completely different energy than demanding to work harder
▶ 18:40Success on this journey requires being different and not following somebody else's rules about how fertility should work
▶ 20:43Your mind is portable and goes everywhere with you on this journey, making mindset critically important whether you're in treatment or daily life
▶ 2:13“You need to work harder, be more perfect, and suffer more to get pregnant”
CONSIDER: Success comes from bringing your best, not grinding harder in misery
“If you're not suffering and struggling, you're not trying hard enough”
CONSIDER: Your best work often comes with ease, not through forcing and suffering
“There's an objective standard of what constitutes 'hard work' that you must meet”
CONSIDER: You get to define what your best looks like based on your unique circumstances
“When someone's first move is just work harder, what it's indicating is they're not really thinking.”
“Work harder has a presupposition embedded within it that whatever you're doing is not enough, which I find fascinating because there's a whole chain. It's like this parasitic pile of not enoughness that just keeps building upon itself.”
“The smarter thing is doing your best. So if we break that down, doing your best, the presupposition is you're running your own race. You're in a category of your own.”
“If you really want to be a fertility success and have your own fertility success story, you, mama, have to be different.”
“If perfection was required, I and all of my other ladies who have beat the odds on this journey, like, not one of us would be here because none of us are perfect.”
“Your brain is portable. It's going everywhere with you on this journey.”
EP350: Unknowingly Repelling Your Baby?
Are you doing all the fertility things but with the wrong energy, actually repelling the baby you're trying to attract?
EP201 Are You Really Ready? The Dream v. Being Ready to Receive It.
Are you just dreaming about your baby, or are you actually ready to receive them?
EP300: Fertility Success Secret #11: Understanding the Inconvenient Truth About Jealousy
What if your jealousy of other women's pregnancy announcements is actually showing you exactly what you're denying yourself?
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
The energy behind your fertility actions matters more than the actions themselves - you can do all the right things but with fear-based energy that repels your baby
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure by shifting her energy, noting she was more fertile in her 40s naturally with the right mindset than in her 30s with treatments.
Two people can approach IVF with completely different energy - one with excitement and opportunity, another with resentment and financial stress - creating vastly different results
Rosanne explains women with worse numbers, older age, and terrible diagnoses get pregnant naturally when their energy matches excitement and anticipation, while those in fear create fear-based results.
There's a fundamental difference between wanting a baby from lack versus being ready to receive one - wanting comes from what isn't here, while readiness focuses on preparing for what's to come
Rosanne observed this shift in all successful clients featured on her podcast over 200+ episodes, noting when 'the switch flips' from chasing energy to confident readiness
Being ready to receive has an innate emotional maturity, confidence, peace and calm that is decidedly different from the desperate energy of 'when is my baby gonna get here?'
Rosanne describes recognizing this shift in all women who achieved success on her podcast, noting it's 'truly a beautiful thing' to observe when the transformation happens
