Tracy, a woman in aviation, shares how she overcame massive blocks including grief from her father's death and self-doubt to conceive naturally through a fresh IVF transfer at 20 weeks pregnant. She went from questioning if she deserved to be happy to trusting her intuition and choosing an untested embryo transfer against her doctor's typical protocol.
Tracy· IVF· Baby boyBefore
Doubting if she deserved happiness, considering adoption after only 1.5 years, jealous of other pregnancies, blocked by grief from father's death
Key Shift
Learned to recognize and dismiss saboteurs, trusted her intuition about fresh transfer, embraced feminine receptivity and visualization
After
Believing she deserved a child, trusting her gut about medical decisions, using visualization and mindset tools during pregnancy
Tracy tried naturally for about 1.5-2 years before moving to IVF. Despite the relatively short timeframe, she was already considering adoption, revealing how saboteurs had taken hold. She discovered massive blocks including grief from her father's unexpected death three years prior and jealousy toward other women's pregnancies.
Tracy's biggest block was feeling guilty about having a child her deceased father would never meet. Through mindset work, she reframed this to focus on how proud he would be and realized her children would still know their grandfather through her stories. This shift helped her go from not believing she deserved happiness to fully owning that she deserved a child.
Tracy developed a technique for dealing with saboteurs: giving them one second to be heard, then actively dismissing them. She learned to recognize these negative thought patterns and refuse to let them take over her mindset, which proved crucial during both her fertility journey and pregnancy.
When a nurse casually mentioned fresh transfer as an option - something Tracy's doctor had never discussed - her intuition kept saying 'this is what you need to do.' Despite going against her doctor's usual protocol of frozen transfers with PGS tested embryos, she trusted her gut and conceived with the untested fresh transfer.
Initially resistant to concepts of femininity because she lifts weights and isn't traditionally girly, Tracy learned that feminine power is about trusting your body and intuition rather than trying to control everything. This shift helped her embrace visualization, trust her gut about treatment decisions, and let her body take a more natural course.
“I felt a lot of guilt to being happy to try to be pregnant, you know, and raising this new kid that he'll never get to meet. You know? And I was afraid of that until I had to refocus my mind and think about the positives and how proud he would be instead.”
— Tracy▶ 7:22
Grief can create blocks that make you question whether you deserve to be happy or have a child. Tracy struggled with guilt about having a baby her deceased father would never meet until she reframed it as how proud he would be.
“fresh transfer was never discussed. It was just something, like I said, brought up right before the last kind of vital sign check before couple days before the retrieval. And, she's like, yeah. I'll ask him. And next day, she called and said, yeah. We can do a fresh transfer.”
— Tracy▶ 19:25
While medical expertise is important, you can advocate for yourself and consider options your doctor may not readily offer. Tracy's doctor always did frozen transfers with tested embryos, but she conceived with a fresh untested transfer.
“It's all based on your mind and what you believe in. Once again, here we go back to the mind, you know. I was always when we talk about it, I'm like, yeah. But I like working out. I like to lift weights. I like to do this. You know? Well, your question to me was, how is that not feminine enough?”
— Tracy▶ 27:08
Feminine power in fertility isn't about being girly - it's about trusting your intuition and body instead of trying to control everything. It means being open to receiving guidance and following your gut about treatment decisions.
“every time I felt one come out, I was like, okay. You can have your one second, but after that, you're you're out. You know? I love the way you say that. I because in honesty, you know, the saboteur is gonna come no matter what.”
— Tracy▶ 15:37
When you recognize a saboteur or negative thought, acknowledge it briefly but don't let it take over. Give it one second, then actively dismiss it and focus on positive thoughts and your goals instead.
“Who knows? This one that's inside of me right now could have tested abnormal. We don't even know, but I'm glad that we just trusted our gut and decided to change things up.”
— Tracy▶ 24:16
Not necessarily. While PGS testing can provide information, untested embryos can also result in healthy pregnancies. Some clinics and patients are reconsidering the necessity of testing all embryos.
“visualization board, you know. And I still have that up and visualizing everything that is what's for me versus what's not for me. So, really, the whole mindset, you know, if I didn't take this step to work towards with you and change our mindset, who knows where I would be?”
— Tracy▶ 16:40
Creating a vision board and visualizing yourself pregnant makes your goals feel more real and attainable. It helps shift your mindset from doubt to belief and creates a positive space for your fertility journey.
Tracy's method for recognizing and dismissing negative thoughts that undermine fertility success
Recognize the saboteur
Notice when negative thoughts or self-doubt appear - they're often automatic but you can learn to spot them
Give it one second
Acknowledge the thought briefly instead of fighting it or pretending it's not there
Actively dismiss it
Tell the saboteur 'you're out' and consciously choose not to engage with the negative thought pattern
Redirect to positive focus
Immediately shift attention to your vision, goals, or positive affirmations about your fertility journey
Grief can create massive fertility blocks that prevent you from believing you deserve to be happy
Tracy lost her father unexpectedly 3 years before and felt guilt about being happy and having a child he'd never meet, which created blocks until she reframed it as 'how proud he would be' and realized her kids would still know their grandpa through her stories.
Comparison and jealousy of other people's pregnancies is a major saboteur that keeps you focused on everyone else's story instead of your own
Tracy struggled with jealousy every time someone announced a pregnancy, asking 'why them, why not me' until she learned to remember that not everyone shares their full fertility story and to focus on her own unique journey.
When you learn to recognize saboteurs, you can give them one second and then kick them out
Tracy learned to notice when saboteurs came up and would literally say 'you can have your one second, but after that, you're out' because she didn't have time to listen to thoughts that would change her mind and tell her something wasn't right.
Trusting your feminine intuition can lead you to treatment options your doctor never discussed
Tracy's doctor always did frozen transfers with PGS tested embryos, but when a nurse casually mentioned fresh transfer as an option, something inside Tracy kept saying 'this is what you need to do' and she conceived with that untested fresh transfer.
Visualization and creating a physical vision board makes your fertility goals feel real and attainable
Tracy created a vision board with family images, fitness goals, and home goals, and bought a onesie to hang by her medications, creating a relaxing space that helped her visualize being pregnant instead of doubting herself.
Femininity isn't about being a girly girl - it's about trusting your body and intuition instead of trying to control everything
Tracy initially resisted the concept of femininity because she lifts weights and isn't girly, but learned that femininity is about mindset - trusting her gut, visualizing herself pregnant, and letting her body take a more natural course versus stress and control.
PGS testing may not be necessary and abnormal embryos can still result in healthy babies
Tracy only had 2 normal embryos from 3 retrievals, but conceived with an untested fresh transfer that could have tested abnormal. She now has a letter at her clinic to not discard abnormal embryos because other clinics will transfer them and research shows they can work.
Going from not believing you deserve happiness to fully owning that you deserve a child is a massive transformation
Tracy went from questioning if she deserved to have a child because her father died and would never meet the baby, to fully believing 'I do deserve this, I do deserve a child' and letting the course of action take place.
Grief can create massive fertility blocks that prevent you from believing you deserve to be happy
▶ 7:22Comparison and jealousy of other people's pregnancies is a major saboteur that keeps you focused on everyone else's story instead of your own
▶ 8:24When you learn to recognize saboteurs, you can give them one second and then kick them out
▶ 15:37Trusting your feminine intuition can lead you to treatment options your doctor never discussed
▶ 20:15Visualization and creating a physical vision board makes your fertility goals feel real and attainable
▶ 16:40Femininity isn't about being a girly girl - it's about trusting your body and intuition instead of trying to control everything
▶ 27:08PGS testing may not be necessary and abnormal embryos can still result in healthy babies
▶ 23:12Going from not believing you deserve happiness to fully owning that you deserve a child is a massive transformation
▶ 14:14“You must follow your doctor's protocol exactly and always test embryos for abnormalities”
CONSIDER: Trust your intuition about treatment options and consider that medicine doesn't know everything - abnormal embryos can result in healthy babies
“Femininity means being girly and soft”
CONSIDER: Femininity is about trusting your intuition and letting your body take its natural course instead of trying to control everything
“I probably would not be pregnant. I probably would still be upset and jealous and wondering if this is for me truly”
“every time I felt one come out, I was like, okay. You can have your one second, but after that, you're you're out”
“for some reason, something inside of me just kept saying, this is what you need to do”
“I do deserve this. I do need you know, I do deserve a child, and it's just now letting the course of action take place”
“you don't know what everyone's been through. So you just have to keep reminding yourself, you know, they could have struggled just as much as you or even longer”
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How a woman overcame 7 years, 7 miscarriages, and 7 failed IVFs to naturally conceive her daughter at 43 after one mindset shift in Bali.
EP120 The Current Landscape of Women’s Health with Dr. Christiane Northrup
One of the most trusted voices in women's health reveals why conception is truly about receiving and shares critical insights every woman trying to conceive needs to hear right now.
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Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
Statistics don't matter when you learn from other people's experiences and decide to believe in your own success
Yasmine overcame 7 years of fertility struggles, 7 miscarriages, and 7 failed IVF cycles to conceive naturally at 43 after hearing other women's success stories on the podcast.
A physical mindset shift can happen in minutes when you're ready to receive it
Yasmine described feeling a literal light switch flip in her brain during a phone call, immediately knowing she could conceive. That same night she conceived Mia naturally after 7 years of trying.
Conception is fundamentally about receiving, not controlling - women must learn to be like the egg that signals and chooses, not like the sperm that chases
Dr. Northrup explains that at ovulation, the egg releases chemical signals that sperm swim toward, and the egg chooses which sperm to accept. She taught this through Argentine tango where women must learn to receive the lead.
There are three ways of knowing: gut instinct from experience, studied knowledge from education, and information someone told you - the third is the one you didn't have to work for
Dr. Northrup draws from decades of medical practice where overeducated patients had 'endless attack surfaces for propaganda' because they relied primarily on what others told them rather than developing inner knowing.
