Rosanne tackles the jealousy that plagues many women on their fertility journey, explaining how lack and scarcity thinking fuels these feelings and sabotages results. She provides practical tools to identify and stop jealous patterns that keep women from making strategic decisions and covering all their bases.
Rosanne opens by acknowledging the uncomfortable truth that jealousy is real on the fertility journey and shares her own experience of being a 'hating ass bitch' toward pregnant women. She describes the exhausting mental gymnastics of trying to separate genuine happiness from resentment.
Professional, accomplished women often don't recognize jealousy in themselves because they have success elsewhere in life. This blind spot makes fertility jealousy particularly insidious since it can go unrecognized or be justified away entirely.
Jealousy stems from the toxic belief that there's only so much good to go around - if someone else's ship came in, yours won't. This thinking manifests in beliefs like 'some people are just lucky' and 'you can't have it all,' which betrays personal power and contradicts reality.
Jealousy prevents strategic thinking and action on your fertility journey. When caught in victim thinking, women are less likely to get second opinions, follow through on protocols, or make the smart moves necessary for success, leading to fear-based decisions and regret.
Rosanne provides a practical exercise to stop jealousy: notice your self-talk during jealous moments, identify the lack and scarcity story you're telling yourself, and examine how this thinking impacts your fertility strategy and the opportunities you're missing.
“How likely are you to give this journey your all? If you're quietly telling yourself that other people are just better than you and they get all the lucky breaks, how motivated are you going to be to get that second, third, or fourth opinion?”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 6:01
Jealousy prevents strategic thinking and decision-making on your fertility journey. When you're stuck in jealous, victim thinking, you're less likely to get second opinions, follow through on diet changes, or cover all your bases, leading to fear-based decisions and missed opportunities.
“jealousy has many facets. I wanna zero in on one of the key culprits, and one that probably doesn't get as much discussion as it probably could, and that is lack in scarcity thinking.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 4:19
Jealousy on the fertility journey comes from lack and scarcity thinking - the belief that there's only so much good to go around. This toxic thinking makes you believe that if someone else gets pregnant, it means less opportunity for you.
“Notice what you say about you when you get caught in a spiral of jealousy on this journey. Ask yourself, what whiny, lack, and scarcity based story are you telling you about you?”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 7:34
Notice what you're telling yourself when jealousy hits, then ask what lack and scarcity story you're believing about yourself. Question how this thinking might be impacting your fertility strategy and what opportunities you're missing because of it.
“as professional, accomplished, educated women, we wouldn't readily characterize or categorize ourselves as jealous. We kinda overlook the possibility because shit in every other aspect of our lives is going pretty well.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 3:47
Professional, accomplished women often don't identify as jealous because they have success in other life areas. Since they typically have the physical and material trappings of success, they don't consider the possibility of being jealous, making this pattern particularly insidious.
“This kind of thinking is based in the bullshit notion that there is only so much good money, chances, or opportunity to go around. So if your ship hasn't come in, it's because somebody already took it.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 4:40
Lack and scarcity thinking is the toxic belief that there's only so much good to go around, so if others are getting pregnant, there's less opportunity for you. It shows up as thoughts like 'some people are just lucky' or 'if it was gonna happen, it would have by now.'
A practical exercise to identify and eliminate jealous patterns that sabotage fertility success
Notice your self-talk
Pay attention to what you say about yourself when you get caught in a spiral of jealousy on this journey
Identify the story
Ask yourself what whiny, lack, and scarcity based story you are telling yourself about yourself
Examine the impact
Question how this thinking might be impacting your strategy on this journey and what opportunities you are not seizing because of it
Challenge the belief
Ask whether the way you are thinking could be standing in the way of you finally getting pregnant
Call it out
Notice the lack and scarcity story when it shows up and call that shit out
Jealousy on the fertility journey stems from lack and scarcity thinking - the belief that there's only so much good to go around, so if someone else has success, it means less opportunity for you
Rosanne shares her own experience of mentally 'hating on' a pregnant woman at the grocery store during her fertility journey, searching for clues about why this woman was 'better' and 'luckier' than her.
Professional, accomplished women often don't recognize jealousy in themselves because they have success in other life areas, making fertility jealousy particularly insidious and unexamined
Rosanne explains that as professional, accomplished, educated women with material trappings of success, fertility patients typically don't categorize themselves as jealous, causing this pattern to go unrecognized or justified.
Jealousy sabotages fertility success by preventing strategic thinking and follow-through on important decisions like getting second opinions, following through on diet changes, or covering all bases
Rosanne outlines specific ways jealousy impacts strategy: reduced motivation for second/third/fourth opinions, poor diet follow-through, missed opportunities, victim thinking that prevents covering all bases, and fear-based cheap decisions leading to regret.
Other people's fertility success has nothing to do with your prospects or chances - their good fortune says nothing about you
Rosanne directly states that other people's good fortune on the fertility journey has nothing to do with you, your prospects, or your chances, countering the scarcity belief that someone else's success diminishes your own.
Being trapped in jealousy is like drinking poison and hoping it harms someone else - the negative energy passes through you first
Rosanne uses this metaphor to illustrate how jealousy hurts the person experiencing it, describing how the negative energy must pass through you before affecting anyone else.
Lack and scarcity thinking manifests in toxic fertility beliefs like 'some people are just lucky,' 'if it was gonna happen it would have by now,' and 'you can't have it all'
Rosanne lists specific examples of lack and scarcity thinking: 'some people are just lucky,' 'if it was gonna happen, it would have already happened by now,' 'you failed so many times already, why don't you just give up,' and 'you can't have it all.'
Jealousy has a ripple effect beyond fertility - if you're experiencing it on your fertility journey, it's likely showing up in other areas of your life too
Rosanne warns that jealousy has a ripple effect and advises women to look out for its 'greasy fingerprints' on other parts of their lives if they notice it in their fertility journey.
Jealousy on the fertility journey stems from lack and scarcity thinking - the belief that there's only so much good to go around, so if someone else has success, it means less opportunity for you
▶ 4:30Professional, accomplished women often don't recognize jealousy in themselves because they have success in other life areas, making fertility jealousy particularly insidious and unexamined
▶ 3:58Jealousy sabotages fertility success by preventing strategic thinking and follow-through on important decisions like getting second opinions, following through on diet changes, or covering all bases
▶ 5:51Other people's fertility success has nothing to do with your prospects or chances - their good fortune says nothing about you
▶ 6:53Being trapped in jealousy is like drinking poison and hoping it harms someone else - the negative energy passes through you first
▶ 7:24Lack and scarcity thinking manifests in toxic fertility beliefs like 'some people are just lucky,' 'if it was gonna happen it would have by now,' and 'you can't have it all'
▶ 4:50Jealousy has a ripple effect beyond fertility - if you're experiencing it on your fertility journey, it's likely showing up in other areas of your life too
▶ 7:03“Some people are just lucky with fertility and if others are getting pregnant, there's less opportunity for me”
CONSIDER: Other people's fertility success has nothing to do with your prospects or chances - there's no actual lack or scarcity in the world, only countless opportunities to share in abundance
“Successful, accomplished women don't get jealous”
CONSIDER: Professional women often don't recognize jealousy because they have success elsewhere, making fertility jealousy particularly insidious and unexamined
“I'm not ashamed to admit I was a hating ass bitch back then. I fully own that part of my own personal growth.”
“Being trapped in jealousy is like drinking poison and hoping it's gonna harm someone else.”
“Other people's good fortune on this journey has nothing to do with you. It says nothing about you, your prospects, or your chances.”
“you don't have time to be a jealous Jane when you are busy covering your bases and savoring the sweet confidence of knowing you are truly doing everything you can to make your mama dreams a reality on this journey”
“Can you see why jealous, lack, and scarcity thinking is fucking toxic? Not just because it feels like shit, but because it can literally sabotage your results?”
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Frameworks & Methods
Your mindset determines whether you see yourself as a victim of circumstances or an empowered woman who can overcome any obstacle on your fertility journey.
Anne Marie transformed from seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to an empowered woman who switched clinics twice, advocated for the ERA test, and ultimately conceived at 40 after 5 years of challenges including life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.
When doctors dismiss your requests for testing or treatment options, you have every right to leave and find a provider who will partner with you in your care.
Anne Marie left her first clinic when they refused the ERA test, then left her second clinic when they pushed donor eggs without trying her own eggs first. At the third clinic, she got pregnant within 6 months using her own eggs at 40.
The fertility journey is preparation for motherhood, not punishment—every challenge teaches lessons needed to be the best mother possible
Rosanne conceived naturally at 43 after years of treatment failure once she learned crucial lessons including patience, boundaries, and trusting her instincts. When her son Asher needed emergency stitches at age 1, she was grateful for the preparation because her old perfectionist self would have reacted dramatically differently.
Certainty is the holy grail moment—when you know your baby is coming regardless of when or how, you stop being a victim and become a powerhouse leader
Rosanne reached this certainty after years of disappointment, telling herself 'I may not know when, I may not know how, but I know my baby is coming'—this shift led to her natural conception at 43 and now helps women across six continents achieve fertility success.
