Anne shares her powerful transformation from treatment shame and disconnection to becoming an empowered participant in her fertility journey. After years of failed treatments and feeling like 'cattle being moved through the system,' she worked with Rosanne to develop her Hell Yes/Hell No intuition, let go of statistics obsession, and finally conceive through IVF at 21 weeks pregnant.
Anne· IVF· Became a mamaBefore
Filled with treatment shame, felt like cattle being moved through the system, completely disengaged from her fertility treatments, blocking all opportunities
Key Shift
Developed Hell Yes/Hell No intuition, surrendered to all conception possibilities, became an engaged participant in treatment, stopped focusing on statistics
After
Empowered decision-maker, calm and secure in choices, open to receiving help, actively participating in treatment with purpose
Anne began trying to conceive in her late twenties, experiencing an early miscarriage followed by months of nothing happening. Despite testing showing no problems, she felt deep shame about needing fertility treatment and described feeling like 'cattle being moved through the system' during her first IVF cycle, which ultimately failed.
After taking a year-long break from treatment, Anne discovered Rosanne's work through a fertility talk. As a successful professional used to solving problems independently, reaching out for help was initially challenging, but she recognized she had hit 'rock bottom' and needed support to move forward.
Through the Fearlessly Fertile Method, Anne developed her intuitive decision-making abilities and learned to trust immediate gut responses. She stopped focusing on statistics and outcomes, instead building a supportive bump squad including an acupuncturist and becoming an engaged participant in her own journey.
With her transformed mindset, Anne approached IVF as an empowered participant rather than a victim. Despite being older with lower reserves, she had better results than her first cycle and successfully conceived, reaching 21 weeks pregnant and celebrating each step with her medical team.
“It doesn't make me any less of a woman. It doesn't mean I'm a failure if I need the help.”
— Anne▶ 27:21
Release the belief that needing help makes you a failure and become an engaged participant rather than blocking the process. Focus on your goal of becoming a mother rather than judging how your baby arrives.
“if it's right, I'm gonna know that it's right right away. I don't have to think about it. It's gonna be right for me.”
— Anne▶ 15:37
A decision-making framework where you trust your immediate gut response. If you can't say yes right away to something, it's a no. This helps you make aligned choices throughout your fertility journey.
“I don't care about the numbers. Like, I'm not like, we're not doing this for numbers. It was just like my end goal is to be a mother and to have a baby.”
— Anne▶ 32:34
Focus on your individual journey rather than statistics. Numbers represent groups, not your specific situation. Obsessing over statistics can create limiting beliefs that block your success.
“I was an active participant this time, and I was making those decisions, and I was allowing things to happen for me.”
— Anne▶ 29:04
Take control of your decisions, stay present during appointments, ask questions, and remain open to receiving help. Be an active partner with your medical team rather than passively following orders.
“I would go into the clinic with, like, all the other ladies that were there and I kinda, like, bow my head and be like, please, God, I hope nobody sees me.”
— Anne▶ 6:29
Many women experience shame and feeling out of place at fertility clinics. This disconnection can actually block your success. The key is processing these feelings and becoming an engaged participant rather than hiding.
“I realized like I've hit the bottom. Like, I've done what I think I could do, and and now somebody else has to, like, show me or teach me or help me figure out kinda what my next steps are”
— Anne▶ 10:06
Ask for help when you recognize you're stuck, spinning, or not moving forward. Professional success in other areas doesn't mean you should handle fertility struggles alone. Getting support is a strength, not a weakness.
Anne's step-by-step process for overcoming fertility treatment shame and becoming an empowered participant
Recognize the shame
Acknowledge feelings of not belonging at fertility clinics and resistance to treatment
Take a strategic break
Step back to process emotions and invest in mindset work rather than continuing while disconnected
Develop Hell Yes/Hell No intuition
Learn to trust immediate gut responses for decision-making throughout your journey
Build your bump squad
Add supportive practitioners like acupuncturists who understand fertility struggles
Release statistics obsession
Stop focusing on numbers and success rates, focus on your individual goal of becoming a mother
Become an engaged participant
Take control of treatment decisions and stay emotionally present during the process
Surrender to all possibilities
Release attachment to how your baby arrives and open to receiving help
Treatment shame blocks your ability to receive help and conceive your baby
Anne spent years hiding from being seen at fertility clinics, feeling like she didn't belong there, which blocked her from being open to treatment. Only when she released this shame and became an engaged participant did she conceive and reach 21 weeks pregnant.
Your Hell Yes/Hell No intuition will guide you to the right decisions when you trust it
Anne developed the ability to immediately know when something was right for her, like finding her acupuncturist after hearing about it in group coaching. This intuitive decision-making became her guide throughout her successful journey to 21 weeks pregnant.
Being an engaged participant in your treatment changes everything about your results
Anne's first IVF cycle failed when she was completely disengaged and blocking the process. Years later, as an active, engaged participant at 21 weeks pregnant, her doctor celebrated with her and showed her beautiful embryo charts.
You must stop blocking opportunities if you want your baby to get here
Anne realized she was blocking IVF and other treatments due to wanting to conceive naturally. When she surrendered to all possibilities and stopped judging how her baby would arrive, she conceived and reached 21 weeks pregnant.
Statistics and numbers don't determine your outcome - your mindset does
Anne stopped looking at fertility statistics entirely, declaring 'we're not doing this for numbers.' Despite being older with lower reserves, she had better IVF results than years earlier and conceived at 21 weeks pregnant.
You can't give up on yourself if you want to be a mother - you're worth the investment
Anne invested in mindset coaching after hitting rock bottom, recognizing she was worth the time, energy and money. This self-investment led to her transformation and pregnancy at 21 weeks.
Professional women often struggle to ask for help because they're used to solving everything themselves
Anne, a successful professional, initially resisted getting help because she was used to solving workplace problems independently. Only when she hit rock bottom did she reach out for fertility mindset coaching.
Taking a break from treatment can be exactly what you need to reset your mindset
Anne took a year break after failed IVF, during which she discovered Rosanne's work and transformed her mindset. When she returned to treatment with the right headspace, she conceived and reached 21 weeks pregnant.
Treatment shame blocks your ability to receive help and conceive your baby
▶ 5:48Your Hell Yes/Hell No intuition will guide you to the right decisions when you trust it
▶ 14:56Being an engaged participant in your treatment changes everything about your results
▶ 29:48You must stop blocking opportunities if you want your baby to get here
▶ 27:00Statistics and numbers don't determine your outcome - your mindset does
▶ 32:24You can't give up on yourself if you want to be a mother - you're worth the investment
▶ 37:12Professional women often struggle to ask for help because they're used to solving everything themselves
▶ 1:22Taking a break from treatment can be exactly what you need to reset your mindset
▶ 8:02“Needing fertility treatment means you've failed as a woman”
CONSIDER: How your baby gets here doesn't matter - blocking opportunities blocks your baby
“You should be able to handle fertility struggles alone since you're successful in other areas”
CONSIDER: Professional success doesn't mean you don't need support - asking for help is a strength
“Statistics and age determine your fertility chances”
CONSIDER: Your mindset and engagement matter more than numbers on a chart
“I wanted a baby, but I didn't want it that way.”
“if it's right, I'm gonna know that it's right right away. I don't have to think about it. It's gonna be right for me.”
“I don't care about the numbers. Like, I'm not like, we're not doing this for numbers. It was just like my end goal is to be a mother and to have a baby.”
“It doesn't make me any less of a woman. It doesn't mean I'm a failure if I need the help.”
“you're worth the time, you're worth the energy, you're worth the money, you know, you're worth taking that time to focus on yourself before you focus on anything else.”
“does it really matter how your baby gets here?”
EP261 It’s Not Too Late To Have Your Baby: A Conversation with Tsao-Lin Moy
A Chinese medicine expert reveals why the statistics telling you it's 'too late' are complete BS and shares the fertility wisdom that's been working for thousands of years.
EP173: She Found Herself, Her Voice, and Her Baby: Agata’s Story
After two devastating IVF failures, Agata made a bold choice to trust herself—and it led to her miracle baby.
EP144 Treatment Failures Don’t Predict the Future: How She Had Her Baby Naturally
A doctor-lawyer with rock-bottom AMH conceived naturally just days before starting aggressive IVF after learning one crucial mindset shift.
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
Biological age and chronological age are not the same thing, and fertility statistics are heavily skewed because they only track women who are struggling, not the general population who conceives naturally
Tsao-Lin Moy notes that no one keeps track of how many women get pregnant over 40 or even at 50 naturally, creating a data bias that makes age-related fertility decline appear worse than reality.
The one-year mark for trying to conceive is an arbitrary standard that doesn't account for individual differences, as no one is standard and we're all unique like snowflakes
Moy questions who decided that a year sets the standard for everyone, emphasizing that Chinese medicine focuses on personalized protocols rather than one-size-fits-all timelines.
You are the one fixing you, healing you—your medical team supports you, but ultimately you must believe in yourself
Agata went from trusting doctors completely through two failed IVF cycles to trusting herself and conceiving through IUI on the fourth attempt, now 26 weeks pregnant.
When treatment isn't working, stepping back to reassess your approach can reveal better options that align with your heart
Agata had never heard of IUI despite two failed IVF cycles. When she trusted her instinct for less invasive treatment and tried IUI, she conceived on the fourth attempt.
