Samana shares her journey from male factor infertility diagnosis to pregnancy at 22 weeks. After facing low sperm count, treatment delays, and an early miscarriage, she transformed her mindset and approached her second transfer completely differently - letting go of control and trusting the process.
Samana· IVF· Currently 22 weeks pregnantBefore
Anxious, defined by infertility, isolated from pregnant friends, spiraling in negativity
Key Shift
Learned to surrender control completely during the two-week wait and trust the process rather than researching symptoms
After
Fearless about life decisions, connected to baby, trusting and at peace during treatment
Samana and her husband discovered male factor infertility after two years of trying. Rather than falling into blame, Samana made the wise decision to approach it as 'our problem' and focus on what she could control - her own mindset and emotional response. This foundational shift set the stage for everything that followed.
After initially isolating herself from pregnant friends, Samana learned to reconnect with them and use their experiences as learning opportunities. She discovered the power of gratitude and began actively preparing herself emotionally for motherhood through visualization and connection.
Samana's first IVF cycle produced good results, but during the two-week wait she fell into controlling behaviors like constant googling. Though the transfer initially tested positive, it ended in early miscarriage - which Rosanne helped her reframe as a sign that conception was possible.
For her second transfer with a 'low grade' embryo, Samana completely changed her approach. She made a commitment to avoid researching symptoms, planned enjoyable daily activities, and focused on 'being herself.' This surrender approach led to successful pregnancy and she's now 22 weeks along.
“For me, it was like we're a team, you know, we can we can make this work. And but when I started realizing that I'm the one with the negativity, I'm the one who's spiraling, like, I had to take action.”
— Samana▶ 10:00
Take a team approach by viewing it as 'our problem' rather than placing blame. Focus on what you can control - your own mindset, emotional state, and response to the situation.
“I literally made a commitment to myself. I'm not going to go on the Internet, find any symptoms or anything like that. I'm just going to have the transfer and be myself.”
— Samana▶ 21:27
Plan enjoyable activities for each day to avoid obsessing over symptoms. Avoid googling or researching, and focus on being yourself rather than trying to control the outcome.
“Instead of, like, distancing myself, I really use them as a tool to help me to understand what that means, you know, what that journey means, what I've got ahead of me rather than kind of hiding.”
— Samana▶ 8:06
Shift from seeing them as painful reminders to viewing them as learning opportunities. Use their experiences to understand what motherhood means and to prepare yourself emotionally.
“That second embryo was classed like a low grade embryo, whatever they call it. But I didn't think about it. I was like, I don't care what you call it. For me, it's a chance to have a baby, and it is actually a baby for me.”
— Samana▶ 27:09
Yes, embryo grading doesn't determine your baby's potential. What matters more is your belief in your embryo and your emotional state during the process.
“This baby is giving you a huge sign. And, you know, my test could have been straight negative. Right? Like, I just, you know, I never thought about it that way.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 19:14
Reframe the miscarriage as a sign that conception is possible rather than evidence of failure. Use your tools and support system to process the experience and prepare for your next attempt.
“I'm gonna go for both. I'm gonna go for the job and I'm gonna go for the transfer. I'm not gonna wait anymore. Like, I feel like I'm in a good headspace. Like, I can do this.”
— Samana▶ 20:25
No, continue making decisions that align with your values. Living your life fully while pursuing motherhood demonstrates fearlessness and keeps you connected to who you are.
Samana's method for staying peaceful and trusting during the critical two week wait period
Make a commitment
Decide in advance that you will not research symptoms or test early during the two week wait
Plan daily activities
Schedule something enjoyable for each day of the wait to keep your mind occupied with positive experiences
Stay active
Continue or start physical activities you enjoy, like yoga classes or gym sessions
Take the test day off
Plan to take the day you get results off work so you can process whatever happens without workplace stress
Focus on being yourself
Maintain your normal personality and activities rather than trying to be 'perfect' for the embryo
When facing male factor infertility, taking responsibility for your own mindset rather than blaming your partner creates the foundation for success
Samana faced low sperm count diagnosis but chose to see it as 'our problem' rather than blaming her husband, which allowed her to focus on what she could control - her own thoughts and responses.
Reconnecting with friends who are pregnant or new mothers, rather than avoiding them, can serve as powerful preparation for your own motherhood journey
After distancing herself from pregnant friends, Samana actively reached out again and used their experiences as learning opportunities rather than sources of pain, which helped her prepare mentally for motherhood.
The difference between a successful and unsuccessful cycle often comes down to surrendering control rather than trying to influence outcomes through research and testing
Samana's first transfer failed when she spent the two-week wait googling and trying to control outcomes. Her second transfer with a 'low grade' embryo succeeded when she committed to avoiding internet research and planned enjoyable activities instead.
Making major life decisions like changing jobs during fertility treatment demonstrates fearlessness and alignment with your values rather than putting life on hold
Samana changed jobs twice in one year while going through IVF cycles, including interviewing for six rounds while preparing for her successful transfer, showing she refused to let fertility treatment control her entire life.
An early miscarriage can actually be a sign that conception is possible rather than evidence of failure
When Samana experienced an early miscarriage after her first positive test, Rosanne reframed it as 'a huge sign' from her baby rather than a failure, helping Samana see it as progress toward her goal.
Refusing to accept medical labels like 'low quality embryo' and instead seeing every embryo as your baby can shift the energy of your entire cycle
Samana's successful pregnancy came from a 'low grade' embryo that she refused to see as inferior, instead viewing it as 'a chance to have a baby' and 'actually a baby for me' regardless of medical classifications.
Learning from other program members' experiences can provide the exact guidance needed for your own breakthrough
Samana connected with Mariette, another program graduate who had a similar first transfer failure, and Mariette's advice to 'just be you' became the key insight for Samana's successful second cycle.
The feeling of knowing your baby is coming can be cultivated through visualization and emotional connection rather than waiting for it to happen naturally
Samana described never having visualized herself as a mom before the program, but after learning to actively imagine holding her baby and buying baby clothes to feel the emotions, she developed a deep sense of knowing her baby would come.
When facing male factor infertility, taking responsibility for your own mindset rather than blaming your partner creates the foundation for success
▶ 9:27Reconnecting with friends who are pregnant or new mothers, rather than avoiding them, can serve as powerful preparation for your own motherhood journey
▶ 8:06The difference between a successful and unsuccessful cycle often comes down to surrendering control rather than trying to influence outcomes through research and testing
▶ 21:27Making major life decisions like changing jobs during fertility treatment demonstrates fearlessness and alignment with your values rather than putting life on hold
▶ 15:57An early miscarriage can actually be a sign that conception is possible rather than evidence of failure
▶ 19:14Refusing to accept medical labels like 'low quality embryo' and instead seeing every embryo as your baby can shift the energy of your entire cycle
▶ 27:09Learning from other program members' experiences can provide the exact guidance needed for your own breakthrough
▶ 20:36The feeling of knowing your baby is coming can be cultivated through visualization and emotional connection rather than waiting for it to happen naturally
▶ 6:54“When there's male factor infertility, it's his problem and his responsibility to fix”
CONSIDER: Male factor infertility is 'our problem' and both partners need to work on what they can control
“You should avoid pregnant friends and new mothers when struggling with infertility”
CONSIDER: Reconnecting with pregnant friends can serve as powerful preparation and learning opportunities for your own journey
“Lower quality embryos have poor chances of success”
CONSIDER: Every embryo is your baby regardless of medical grading, and your belief in them matters more than their classification
“For me, it was like we're a team, you know, we can we can make this work. And but when I started realizing that I'm the one with the negativity, I'm the one who's spiraling, like, I had to take action.”
“I literally made a commitment to myself. I'm not going to go on the Internet, find any symptoms or anything like that. I'm just going to have the transfer and be myself.”
“I don't care what you call it. For me, it's a chance to have a baby, and it is actually a baby for me.”
“Instead of, like, distancing myself, I really use them as a tool to help me to understand what that means, you know, what that journey means, what I've got ahead of me rather than kind of hiding.”
“This baby is giving you a huge sign. And, you know, my test could have been straight negative. Right? Like, I just, you know, I never thought about it that way.”
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Stop being a passenger on your fertility journey and take control by building your own treatment team
Suzanne went from passively accepting doctor recommendations to researching recurrent loss treatments, bringing a list to her new doctor, and collaborating on her own treatment plan. Her doctor told her at delivery: 'This baby is here because of you. You came up with your own treatment plan.'
When you're clear about your vision and open to different paths, you naturally relax because you know you'll figure it out
Suzanne and Bevan explored surrogacy and adoption as backup plans, which allowed them to go into their fifth transfer relaxed, saying 'this is it, and that's okay if it's it.' That transfer resulted in their baby boy after 4+ years of trying.
The fertility journey can be a catalyst for complete life transformation if you allow it to wake you up to an entirely different way of living
Lavinia spent 10 years on her fertility journey from age 33-43, transforming from someone living in victim mentality to an empowered woman who now coaches other women through fertility struggles.
You can meditate all day, but if you don't change the underlying belief system that's causing you to be stuck in worst-case scenario thinking, meditation alone won't create the transformation you need
Lavinia tried meditation and felt better physically but still had racing thoughts about 'what if I transfer and it doesn't work' until she addressed her limiting beliefs through mindset work.
