Somaya shares her incredible journey of conceiving naturally at 38 after enduring three ectopic pregnancies, multiple miscarriages, and 20 months of trying. Through mindset work and the Fearlessly Fertile Method, this London-based legal recruiter overcame fear, victim mentality, and lack mindset to welcome her second son.
SomayaAge 38· natural· Baby boyBefore
Victimhood mindset, living on hope alone, intimidated by medical professionals, consumed with obsession and desperation
Key Shift
Developed certainty and medical advocacy skills, overcame lack and scarcity mindset, reached peace and trust in the process
After
Confident medical advocate, abundant mindset, peaceful trust in divine timing while taking strategic action
Somaya opens up about the isolating experience of secondary infertility after her first son, describing how it creates shame and guilt that differs from primary infertility. She explores the toxic positivity surrounding 'being grateful for what you have' and why refusing to settle was essential for her journey.
Despite being a successful professional, Somaya endured three ectopic pregnancies, multiple miscarriages, and significant medical errors from top London hospitals. Her story illustrates how even accomplished women can struggle to advocate effectively in medical settings without proper mindset tools.
Initially cynical about fertility coaching, Somaya discovered the power of addressing mindset blocks around lack, scarcity, and victimhood. Through the Fearlessly Fertile Method, she learned to combine her professional strategic thinking with emotional healing and spiritual faith.
After reaching a place of peace and trust, Somaya conceived naturally and carried her second son to term despite pregnancy complications. Her transformation from desperation to empowered certainty demonstrates how mindset work enables both conception and a healthy pregnancy journey.
“I've been pregnant every year of my life for, like, the last seven years, and I've got, you know, one baby to show for it. What's going on?”
— Somaya▶ 17:32
Yes, natural conception is possible after ectopic pregnancies. Somaya conceived naturally after three ectopic pregnancies by combining mindset work with medical advocacy and strategic action.
“I think secondary infertility is a real bitch. And, you know, I think when people listen to this, they sort of think, well, actually, you know, you're really lucky to already have a child”
— Somaya▶ 11:11
Recognize that secondary infertility creates unique isolation and that wanting more children doesn't diminish gratitude for your existing child. Refuse toxic positivity that tells you to 'just be grateful' if your heart is calling for more.
“When you're the most certain person in the room, everyone else is gonna take a listen. Right? And this is what I tell women all the time”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 34:03
Yes, when you're the most certain person in the room, others will listen. You have just as much chance of being right as doctors do, and advocating for specific tests or approaches can lead to breakthrough results.
“Hope is like one foot out the door. Right? Faith is like, hey, you know what? I'm in this for the long haul”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 48:01
Hope is one foot out the door, while faith means being all in for the long haul. True faith combines spiritual trust with strategic action—believing while also taking concrete steps toward your goal.
“If the only thing that you think is gonna fix you is this baby, there ain't no baby that wants to come into that. Like, it was an ugly environment”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 27:07
Yes, unprocessed trauma and negative thought patterns can create an environment that blocks conception. When you're at peace and truly ready to receive, conception becomes possible even after multiple losses.
“You cannot settle if if that's not what you want. If your heart is calling at you for something, don't don't stop there”
— Somaya▶ 18:23
Focus on what your heart truly wants rather than settling due to fear. Apply the same strategic thinking you use professionally to your fertility journey, involving experts and creating a comprehensive plan.
“Lack and scarcity obviously isn't just about money. It's about time. It's about opportunity. It's most tragically about love”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 23:41
It's the belief that there are limited babies, time, or opportunities available. This mindset blocks abundance thinking and can prevent you from investing in solutions or believing in possibility.
Secondary infertility creates unique isolation because you don't fit into either the 'can't conceive' club or the 'conceive easily' club, leading to shame and guilt about wanting more
Somaya experienced secondary infertility after her first son, enduring three ectopic pregnancies and multiple miscarriages while feeling guilty about not being grateful for her existing child.
Successful professionals often fail to apply their strategic thinking to fertility, instead relying on hope rather than creating a comprehensive plan with experts and resources
Somaya, a top legal recruiter in London, realized she would strategically involve experts for professional challenges but was just 'living on a prayer and hope' for her fertility journey.
When you're the most certain person in the room, everyone else will take a listen—you have just as much chance of being right as the doctors
Somaya challenged a renowned London fertility doctor with 40 years experience, saying 'Stop. This is all a red herring. I want you to run these tests,' and he agreed, leading to transformational results.
Lack and scarcity mindset isn't just about money—it's about time, opportunity, and most tragically about love, silencing the truth that there is abundance all around
Somaya overcame her working-class immigrant background's scarcity mindset, eventually buying herself a car as a celebration when she had her second baby, demonstrating abundance thinking.
You cannot settle if that's not what your heart is calling for—toxic positivity of 'be grateful for what you have' keeps women from pursuing their true desires
Somaya refused to listen to people saying 'be grateful, you have a son' and instead pursued her dream of a second child through three ectopic pregnancies and multiple miscarriages.
If the only thing you think will fix you is a baby, no baby wants to come into that ugly environment—it's too much pressure on the child
Somaya realized she was creating an 'ugly environment' of obsession and desperation, only conceiving naturally when she reached peace and trust in the process.
Faith means being all in for the long haul, while hope is one foot out the door—you can have faith in God while still taking strategic action
Somaya, a practicing Muslim, maintained deep faith through three ectopic pregnancies while also 'tying up her camel'—taking concrete action including mindset coaching and medical advocacy.
Successful women must recognize fertility requires a different skill set—what made you successful in law school won't necessarily work for getting pregnant
Somaya, despite being a top legal recruiter in London, had to learn entirely new ways of thinking, believing, and taking action specifically for her fertility journey.
Medical misdiagnoses and mistakes happen frequently—Somaya experienced two major errors from the same London hospital within 12 months
Somaya's first ectopic was misdiagnosed as missed miscarriage leading to rupture, then a year later she was given wrong blood test results for her second ectopic pregnancy.
The grit required to overcome three ectopic pregnancies, repeated miscarriage, and self-doubt while being a top professional demonstrates the power of commitment to growth
Somaya endured three ectopic pregnancies, multiple miscarriages, and 20 months of trying while running a successful executive search firm, ultimately conceiving naturally at 38.
Secondary infertility creates unique isolation because you don't fit into either the 'can't conceive' club or the 'conceive easily' club, leading to shame and guilt about wanting more
▶ 11:11Successful professionals often fail to apply their strategic thinking to fertility, instead relying on hope rather than creating a comprehensive plan with experts and resources
▶ 47:09When you're the most certain person in the room, everyone else will take a listen—you have just as much chance of being right as the doctors
▶ 34:03Lack and scarcity mindset isn't just about money—it's about time, opportunity, and most tragically about love, silencing the truth that there is abundance all around
▶ 23:41You cannot settle if that's not what your heart is calling for—toxic positivity of 'be grateful for what you have' keeps women from pursuing their true desires
▶ 18:23If the only thing you think will fix you is a baby, no baby wants to come into that ugly environment—it's too much pressure on the child
▶ 27:07Faith means being all in for the long haul, while hope is one foot out the door—you can have faith in God while still taking strategic action
▶ 48:01Successful women must recognize fertility requires a different skill set—what made you successful in law school won't necessarily work for getting pregnant
▶ 2:56Medical misdiagnoses and mistakes happen frequently—Somaya experienced two major errors from the same London hospital within 12 months
▶ 13:15The grit required to overcome three ectopic pregnancies, repeated miscarriage, and self-doubt while being a top professional demonstrates the power of commitment to growth
▶ 1:43“If you already have one child, you should be grateful and not want more”
CONSIDER: Secondary infertility is real and valid—you're allowed to want the family size that calls to your heart without guilt
“Doctors know best and shouldn't be questioned”
CONSIDER: You have just as much chance of being right as they do—be the most certain person in the room and advocate for yourself
“Hope and prayer are enough for fertility success”
CONSIDER: Faith requires action—'tie up your camel' by combining spiritual trust with strategic planning and expert resources
“You cannot settle if that's not what you want. If your heart is calling at you for something, don't don't stop there.”
“When you're the most certain person in the room, everyone else is gonna take a listen.”
“If the only thing that you think is gonna fix you is this baby, there ain't no baby that wants to come into that.”
“Hope is like one foot out the door. Right? Faith is like, hey, you know what? I'm in this for the long haul.”
“I think secondary infertility is a real bitch.”
“There is nothing like getting into your head and properly unpicking what is going on.”
EP331: Recurrent Miscarriage and Failed IVF Didn't Stop Her from Finally Being the Woman Who Has It ALL: Jennifer's Story
How an ambitious finance professional went from ectopic pregnancy and 'pregnancies of unknown location' to holding her baby boy while building her dream home - by learning that her driven nature was her superpower, not her weakness.
EP73 A Miracle, 5 Years In the Making
How a woman went from a near-death ectopic pregnancy and seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to conceiving at 40 after 5 years of setbacks.
EP303: With 4 Miscarriages, A Cancer Scare, and Low Ovarian Reserve “They” Didn’t Think She Could Do It: Kristen’s Story
After 4 miscarriages in 9 months and being told to expect the 'path of failure,' Kristen discovered the missing piece that changed everything.
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
The ambitious, driven qualities that make you successful professionally are actually your superpowers on the fertility journey, not obstacles to overcome
Jennifer initially thought her ambitious, driven nature in finance would make her a bad mother, but discovered that same resilience and refusal to quit is what ultimately brought her to conceiving her son after ectopic pregnancy and multiple failed transfers.
Your mind will give up way before your body ever will - this is why mindset is the foundation of fertility success
Jennifer's fertility clinic told her they see many patients who still have medical and financial options but give up emotionally before exhausting their possibilities. Jennifer's mental resilience kept her going through ectopic pregnancy, pregnancies of unknown location, and failed transfers until she conceived.
Your mindset determines whether you see yourself as a victim of circumstances or an empowered woman who can overcome any obstacle on your fertility journey.
Anne Marie transformed from seeing herself as a 'barren orphan' to an empowered woman who switched clinics twice, advocated for the ERA test, and ultimately conceived at 40 after 5 years of challenges including life-threatening ectopic pregnancy.
When doctors dismiss your requests for testing or treatment options, you have every right to leave and find a provider who will partner with you in your care.
Anne Marie left her first clinic when they refused the ERA test, then left her second clinic when they pushed donor eggs without trying her own eggs first. At the third clinic, she got pregnant within 6 months using her own eggs at 40.
