Kate, a former London lawyer, shares her journey from years of unexplained infertility, low AMH, miscarriage, and IVF failures to conceiving naturally at 34. After losing her mother suddenly, relocating to Dublin, and facing treatment setbacks, she transformed her mindset and got pregnant naturally the month after her final failed IVF transfer.
KateAge 34· natural· Baby on the wayBefore
Apologetic about wanting a baby, swinging between fragility and denial, feeling like a passenger in her own journey
Key Shift
Embraced her desire fully, built a comprehensive support team, and learned to witness thoughts without believing them
After
In pilot mode rather than autopilot, resilient after setbacks, committed to her vision
Kate shares how losing her mother suddenly in 2013 became a catalyst for major life changes. She and her husband left their demanding London legal careers and relocated to Dublin, Ireland, where they began trying to conceive while building a new life together.
What started as a relaxed approach to conceiving became medical urgency when Kate received shocking test results showing low AMH and autoimmune thyroid issues. The 'unexplained infertility' label left her feeling helpless and passive - the opposite of her natural lawyer instincts.
Multiple IVF cycles brought canceled attempts, thin lining, and a devastating miscarriage at 6-7 weeks. Kate felt completely depleted and under medical control, losing her agency while her friends and family got pregnant around her.
During a reset trip to the Seychelles, Kate discovered Rosanne's podcast and binged 10 episodes on the flight. The unapologetic 'hell yes' approach gave her permission to embrace her desires fully rather than apologetically hoping.
Kate assembled a comprehensive support team including functional medicine practitioners who discovered the root causes behind her autoimmune thyroid issues. Her egg retrieval jumped from 4 to 19 eggs as she addressed inflammation and optimized her health.
Even with two perfect grade AA embryos, Kate's transfer failed. But the mindset work made her resilient rather than devastated, and she maintained her commitment with the mantra 'my name is Kate and I'm not leaving without my babies.'
The month after her failed IVF transfer, Kate conceived naturally without any medication - her first natural positive pregnancy test in over 4 years. She was 36 weeks pregnant during this interview, proving that past failures don't predict future success.
“that very next month, no medication, no IVF, got pregnant. So just complete magic.”
— Kate▶ 36:41
Yes, Kate conceived naturally the month after her failed IVF transfer with two perfect grade AA embryos, proving that IVF failure doesn't predict natural conception ability.
“I had your, you know, your weekly calls, and so I was in a really good place. And that was a a completely different round of IVF, as I said. You know, like we're nineteen embryos and I think we got ten day five embryos.”
— Kate▶ 32:41
Kate increased her egg retrieval from 4 to 19 eggs by addressing autoimmune thyroid issues, reducing inflammation, and working with a functional nutritionist to optimize gut health.
“I always tell women that means anything is possible, like even the good shit.”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 26:17
Unexplained infertility means doctors haven't found a clear medical reason, but it also means anything is possible, including natural conception after years of trying.
“I was more fertile two years later than I was, you know, two years earlier because I was nurturing myself, I was looking after my body”
— Kate▶ 18:44
Yes, Kate was more fertile at 34 than when she was younger because she addressed autoimmune inflammation and thyroid issues that were blocking conception.
“be a historian of your successes and not just your failures”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 23:00
Focus on being a historian of your successes rather than failures, practice the belief that 'two things can be true at the same time,' and maintain your commitment while surrendering the timeline.
“come out the closet as a woman who wants a baby”
— Rosanne Austin▶ 15:25
No, you should 'come out of the closet as a woman who wants a baby' and give yourself permission to be strategically obsessed rather than apologetically passive.
Unexplained infertility means anything is possible, including the good outcomes
Kate had unexplained infertility for 4+ years, then conceived naturally at 34 the month after failed IVF with perfect grade AA embryos.
You can be more fertile years later than when you were younger if you address root causes
Kate went from retrieving 4 eggs in her first IVF to 19 eggs two years later after addressing autoimmune thyroid issues and inflammation through functional medicine.
Come out of the closet as a woman who wants a baby - give yourself permission to be obsessed
Kate spent years apologetically trying not to be obsessed with getting pregnant, which kept her from taking strategic action until she embraced her desire fully.
Be a historian of your successes, not just your failures
Kate learned to recognize improvements like pain-free periods and natural fertile windows instead of focusing only on negative pregnancy tests and failed cycles.
Two things can be true at the same time - you can feel heartbroken and still believe in your dream
Kate was devastated when two perfect grade AA embryos didn't implant, but maintained her belief that motherhood was still possible, leading to natural conception the next month.
Ask for what you want or more - gratitude shouldn't make you small
Kate was using gratitude to diminish her desires, feeling greedy for wanting a baby when she had other blessings, until she learned to embrace abundance.
Don't stop believing things are happening to you - maybe they're happening for you
Kate reframed her body's inability to conceive as protection, realizing pregnancy wouldn't have been healthy with her autoimmune inflammation at the time.
You don't have to believe your thoughts - witness them and choose which narratives to follow
Kate learned to witness self-bullying thoughts without acting on them, choosing daily whether to be kind to herself or listen to fear-based narratives.
Unexplained infertility means anything is possible, including the good outcomes
▶ 26:17You can be more fertile years later than when you were younger if you address root causes
▶ 18:34Come out of the closet as a woman who wants a baby - give yourself permission to be obsessed
▶ 15:25Be a historian of your successes, not just your failures
▶ 23:00Two things can be true at the same time - you can feel heartbroken and still believe in your dream
▶ 34:34Ask for what you want or more - gratitude shouldn't make you small
▶ 29:21Don't stop believing things are happening to you - maybe they're happening for you
▶ 25:05You don't have to believe your thoughts - witness them and choose which narratives to follow
▶ 40:24“If you've failed multiple treatments, your chances keep getting worse”
CONSIDER: Past failures don't predict future success - you can be more fertile later than when you were younger
“You should stay relaxed and not be obsessed with getting pregnant”
CONSIDER: Come out of the closet as a woman who wants a baby and give yourself permission to dig in strategically
“Unexplained infertility means something is wrong but unknown”
CONSIDER: Unexplained means anything is possible, including the good outcomes
“come out the closet as a woman who wants a baby”
“I always tell women that means anything is possible, like even the good shit”
“be a historian of your successes and not just your failures”
“my name is Kate and I'm not leaving without my babies”
“two things can be true at the same time”
“ask for what you want or more”
EP367: 10 Years to Healthy Baby Girl: Lavinia's Story
How a Romanian woman overcame 10 years of fertility struggles, multiple IVF failures, and autoimmune issues to hold her baby girl at 43 by shifting from victim to victor.
IVF Isn't the Solution You Think It Is: A Brave Conversation with Dr. Zaher Merhi, MD
A fertility doctor reveals why IVF isn't the solution you think it is and how the conventional approach may actually be making things worse.
EP331: Recurrent Miscarriage and Failed IVF Didn't Stop Her from Finally Being the Woman Who Has It ALL: Jennifer's Story
How an ambitious finance professional went from ectopic pregnancy and 'pregnancies of unknown location' to holding her baby boy while building her dream home - by learning that her driven nature was her superpower, not her weakness.
Conditions
Frameworks & Methods
Common Beliefs
The fertility journey can be a catalyst for complete life transformation if you allow it to wake you up to an entirely different way of living
Lavinia spent 10 years on her fertility journey from age 33-43, transforming from someone living in victim mentality to an empowered woman who now coaches other women through fertility struggles.
You can meditate all day, but if you don't change the underlying belief system that's causing you to be stuck in worst-case scenario thinking, meditation alone won't create the transformation you need
Lavinia tried meditation and felt better physically but still had racing thoughts about 'what if I transfer and it doesn't work' until she addressed her limiting beliefs through mindset work.
Many women get pregnant naturally just from having an educational consultation with a fertility doctor, without any treatment at all
Dr. Merhi reports that after consultation alone, many stressed patients who had been exposed to negative information suddenly conceive naturally because addressing their mental state removes a major barrier.
Women with recurrent miscarriages who can make embryos naturally often can't even create one embryo after high-dose IVF because the medications damage egg quality
Dr. Merhi sees daily examples of women who conceive naturally but miscarry, then after IVF with high doses can't even make blastocysts - proving their issue wasn't egg quality but uterine receptivity.
